Belonging To A Place

☆ January 12, 2022

Long, long ago, in early November, I thought I would use the time between Thanksgiving and New Years to begin writing again and posting on the blog again and, well, life took me in a different direction. Honestly, I feel like I’ve been in a year-long acid trip. I have completely surrendered to it. And I’ve been enjoying it… even the dances with my dragons. It’s been a very deep, profoundly revealing exploration of my psyche that began, I suppose, when I asked the question, ‘who am I without Charlie?’

I was also planning to spend the winter promoting Meditations with Cows, leading up to the paperback release in February. Self promotion is hard for me in the best of times. It’s even more challenging during a worldwide pandemic while in the midst of a pseudo-psychedelic expedition. But this book is incredibly important to me—more specifically, the words that fill this book matter to me, and I want to share those words. So I’m going to share an entire chapter on social media.

This chapter takes place during the summer I spent living off-grid on the mountain with the cows… which happens to be another time in my life when I felt unable to share the profundity of the moment in the moment, being too immersed in living it. Writing this chapter for Meditations with Cows was the first time I wrote about *why* that summer was so lifechanging for me.

I’m so excited to be able to share this chapter with you. I’ll be sharing it in serial form, a little every day. You can follow along @dailycoyote on twitter or instagram. {If you like what you read, I hope you’ll share or retweet some of my posts, tag me so I can see and smile!}

And yes, the paperback is finally almost here. I prefer paperbacks—they’re just so pleasant to hold while reading. I almost always wait for the paperback release to buy books for myself and others. If you feel similarly, the time has arrived!

This is also a great time to talk to your library to request they acquire a copy, since paperbacks are more budget-friendly than hardcovers. My publisher did not skimp on this paperback though—they’ve printed it IN FULL COLOR! I’m so thrilled, all the photographs and design elements are beautifully printed in color, just like the hardbound edition.

Storytime begins today! See you on twitter and instagram.

The 2022 Charlie Calendar

☆ November 15, 2021

Howdy, stranger. By which I mean, “howdy” to you, I’m stranger. I know I’ve been MIA, but I needed some time offline.

This year has been so freaking weird, too weird to condense into words just yet. A constant, though, has been how much joy Charlie’s pictures bring me every day.

I love having Charlie’s photos everywhere. Last year, I cut apart old calendars and taped up an entire wall of his pictures. I look at his framed photos and the pictures of him that other artists have sent me. I have him everywhere. And his magic leaps out of the 2-D and becomes multidimensional reality.

This is why I decided to continue with Charlie’s annual calendar – to share that joy.

This year’s calendar includes images from 2007 through 2021, all of which have never been used in calendars before. It’s really beautiful. CLICK HERE see all the details and bigger pictures.

Life is confusing but the Farmily is doing great. Everyone is healthy and wonderful, and it’s been a season of babies. I’ll share more when I dive back into the web, which will be soon.

I miss you, too.

Hatching

☆ June 8, 2021

One of our hens got broody and made her nest on the edge of the haystack, three bales high. One day, I went into the barn and saw a scattering of eggs on the ground that the hen had kicked from her nest. Nestled under her body were two little chicks. I’m guessing the hen kicked out her eggs so her babies would have more room, to protect them from falling off the haystack. But it was still too dangerous for them there on the edge, still too easy for them to fall.

I put the chicks in a bucket, then grabbed the hen and carried her to our chick nursery – a dog house made out of logs and filled with straw, which the dogs have never used. It sits in my garden and is the perfect interim home for chicks before they graduate to the chicken house.

I put the hen in the nursery, trapped her in with the chicken wire door, then brought her chicks to her and set them up with water and food. Then I gathered up the eggs, which had landed gently on the loose hay blanketing the floor of the barn, and put them in my yogurt maker to see if any would hatch.

It was a long shot – I didn’t know if the eggs had sat on the ground overnight or if my yogurt maker incubator would even be the correct temperature. But two days later, this happened!

They say baby birds imprint on whoever is present when they hatch, but I imprinted on this chick. I tucked my sweater into my jeans and carried the chick around in the pocket of warmth between my sweater and skin like a chick-mama-kangaroo. When I was in bed, the chick slept on my chest under the covers.

The following afternoon, once I was sure the chick was healthy and strong, I carried it out to the nursery and introduced the chick to its mama. When I placed it in the straw, the chick began cheeping desperately. The hen ran to it, gently herded it to the far corner, and nestled down on top of it as her other two chicks scurried beneath her body.

Doing the right thing is so hard sometimes! But they’re a happy chicken family now. And who knows, maybe another egg will hatch – the rest are still in my yogurt maker.

Coyote Magic

☆ April 27, 2021

It’s been a minute. Or rather, six months….. which just seems unreal. Three events disengage us from the human construct of time: birth, death, and falling in love. When we’re in the midst of those three things, time gets weird.

I didn’t realize the winter had passed until I heard the calls of the sandhill cranes the first week of March. And instead of thrilling me as they always have, they filled me with dread. Since Charlie came into my life, I have always celebrated our birthdays together. When I realized April was on the horizon, I got nervous about how I would feel on our birthday this year, this being the first one without him here. But Charlie orchestrated a wonderful adventure for me.

In March, I got an email from a powerhouse in the art world inviting me to place a piece in a group show she was curating in Jackson Hole. She needed all the art by April 12 (my birthday) to start hanging the show. So instead of dealing with shipping my work, I decided to drive the giant framed photo of Charlie to Jackson myself and make a mini vacation out of it.

When I told the curator my plan, she offered me her gorgeous house in downtown Jackson to stay in, since she and her husband had moved to a ranch outside of town. What a gift. I truly believe that Charlie conspired with the curator to deliver me to Jackson so I could spend our birthday surrounded by art and possibility instead of moping around at home. It was made even more special by knowing that Charlie’s legacy lives on, and that his magic will continue to reach new people through this show.

I hadn’t been to Jackson since I rode through on my Vespa, and it had been so cold and overcast that August day fifteen years ago that I never even got to see the Tetons in their full glory, as they were shrouded in fog. In person, they really do take your breath away.

The house I stayed in was a work of art in and of itself, filled with art and art books, and the way the light danced through the space made me wish I’d brought my camera – this trip was the first time I’ve wanted to take pictures since Charlie died. But I still had fun taking pics with my phone.

If you find yourself in Jackson Hole between now and June 14, swing by The Center for the Arts to see the show! It’s a group of seriously amazing artists with so many spectacular pieces. You can download the catalogue, which contains all the art, here.

I still have rough days. I’m not going to pretend that there hasn’t been a lot of pain since Charlie left Planet Earth. But there’s also been so much magic. Every time I call out to Charlie, he answers….. and I know he’s still my co-pilot from across the veil.

Charlie in Platinum & Palladium ~ A Mutual Aid Auction

☆ February 2, 2021

In the fall of 2017, after I finished the coffee table book celebrating Charlie’s tenth birthday and had sent it off to the printer, I was in that weird state of being absolutely buzzed from completing the project and also exhausted from the work. I couldn’t sit still and I couldn’t focus on normal stuff. The book had turned out better than I’d ever imagined and sales had too, so I gave myself a gift I’d wanted for years. I drove to New Mexico for a week-long one-on-one apprenticeship with David Michael Kennedy, one of the living masters of Platinum/Palladium printing.

Platinum/Palladium printing is one of the oldest photographic printing techniques. A light-sensitive solution of platinum and/or palladium is hand-painted onto watercolor paper, and a contact print is made under ultraviolet light – traditionally, the sun.

I also learned how to make high-quality negatives from my digital files, which allows me to create Platinum/Palladium prints from pictures of Charlie that I’ve taken with my digital camera.

Platinum/Palladium prints are gorgeous, truly luminous, with a tonal range that surpasses any other form of photographic print. (Frustratingly, it’s impossible to see the incredible print quality through a computer screen.)

The noble metals bond with the paper itself, so Platinum/Palladium prints are estimated to last thousands of years without any deterioration in the quality of the print. The Platinum/Palladium process is a spectacular blend of art, science, and magic.

It’s also quite rare these days. Platinum and palladium are expensive materials to work with, and each print is made, from start to finish, by hand. In 2018 I set up a darkroom to start printing at home, but then I decided to write another book and my fine art was put on hold. Till now.

I’m debuting this work with one of my all-time favorite pictures of Charlie, in platinum and palladium (50/50). I’m offering it for auction with 100% of the proceeds going to mutual aid. The funds will be donated to this reparations campaign: Homes for Black Women.

My friend Allison of Sunny Rising has coordinated this fundraiser with a great group of artists – there is beautiful work on offer, and you can find links to it all on her most recent post.

Charlie in Platinum & Palladium on Italian rag watercolor paper / image area measures 4″ x 5.5″ / archivally mounted on rice paper under glass / handmade barn wood frame measures 10″ x 12″

Please leave your bids in the comment section. The auction is also running on my instagram page – I’ll be cross-posting the highest bids from both places periodically so everyone knows what’s up (instagram seems to prohibit people without accounts from seeing anyone’s pages anymore, boo). Check back here to see if you’ve been outbid! The auction will close February 9th at 9PM MST.

I’m slowly resurfacing and will write more soon…. in the meantime, thank you for all the love messages – let’s share that love with this reparations campaign!

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