The Intern Experiment
☆ April 29, 2010
Background: Mid-January, in a fit of overwhelmed desperation, I tweeted a fantasy. As a joke. As a way to try to lighten my mood at the moment. Within moments, I was flooded with responses from people who actually wanted to come work for me for free in exchange for milk and a camp trailer. I believe my thought process was as follows: Well. Wow. Why not!
And so I posted a formal application and had 100 people apply in two days and even CNN thought the whole thing was worth writing about. As for choosing one person to come, it was hard in that I wanted everyone, but simple in that there was simply one answer. And that was Sarah.
There was something about her as an individual that felt right, kindred, and the fact that she is an artist was kind of a safety net for me: life is really different out here, compared with the cities and the suburbs, and the traditional “stuff” one might rely on for entertainment doesn’t exist here. I felt safe bringing Sarah into this, especially as the test run, because a true artist never gets bored. She’s been here for two months now and it has been a success in a multitude of ways.
The technical specs: Sarah is available to me from 9-5 on four specific days of the week, though that time has never been filled to the brim. Some days are full, some days are just a couple of hours. Some days are menial (laundry, dishes), some days are physical (clearing weeds, tidying the corrals), some days are focused on behind-the-scenes computer stuff I hate doing, and which she does SO much faster than I!
In passing certain chores to Sarah ~ both things that have to be done, like washing milk pails, and things that never got done because I was too busy to address them, like weeding around the corrals ~ my brain space and life time (by which I mean, quite literally, Time for my Life) opened up, and immediately, projects began to bloom! I was able to launch this site, finally, and start working on my next book proposal, finally, and take the time to ride my horse nearly every day, which I previously hadn’t been able to do in the time I’ve had Ranger.
In turn, she has made this time here, her own. She has the time to pursue her art and is brewing up some big plans for the summer. She volunteered to help at a sheep ranch while they were lambing (babies being born), where she learned a ton and impressed the heck out of them. She’s often off making friends or exploring the area, generally keeping her life full. And she has spoken of many internal transformations. All of this makes me so glad.
There were some slippery spots at the beginning, but that is to be expected, considering both she and I threw ourselves into something totally new and unique without knowing what to expect. We each happen to be good, honest talkers and the glitches that have come up have been quickly resolved.
There’s no segue for this but I promise it relates: my college boyfriend, who remains a close friend, is Mexican; he was studying in the US at the same school as I. His family was very wealthy: we’re talking chauffeurs and bulletproof cars. Sometimes, when he would talk about his childhood or his family in Mexico, he would mention the “servants.” And that word really bothered me. Finally, I said something like, “would you please quit it with the talk of servants, you sound so incredibly elitist!” And he responded with a cultural lesson I’ve never forgotten.
He said that in Mexico, when you reach a certain income, you are considered selfish if you do not have servants. That it is considered a social duty to employ domestic help, so that those employees (servants) have a reliable source of income, have the means to feed their children, and/or have free housing. And as your income increases, so should the amount of domestic help you employ.
This was so interesting to me.
The internship arrangement that Sarah and I are living is a basic example of an intriguing model that might be applied anywhere. So many of us are overwhelmed with what we “have” to do: working multiple jobs + cooking + keeping house + taking care of children or animals. The flip side: housing is really expensive when you’ve been laid off [edit: or, as commenters have noted, are a graduating college student entering a tragic job market]. But time and space can be bartered.
Anyone with a spare bedroom or slightly renovated garage (or camp trailer!) is physically able to house another person without taking on much extra expense (perhaps a slight increase in utilities). In return, that individual takes on tasks. In effect, this is trading space for time. Money is not even involved, but both parties gain something of value. There are so many possible permutations, depending on what you have, what you want, what you need, what you can give.
Of course, there are just as many considerations ~ safety, time and resource management, co-existing with others, trust, liability, etc. But it’s something interesting to think about. Times are changing; what is normal, is changing.
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36 Responses to “The Intern Experiment”
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April 29th, 2010 @ 5:14 pm
i am so very happy to see this..sarah is a fantastic friend of mine, meaning she is fantastic! and i consider her a close friend. i love that she has this opportunity, and that you were able to share this with her. congrats to the both of you, and always best of luck, time, space and everything.. <3
April 29th, 2010 @ 5:49 pm
Glad to hear everything is going so well with Sarah. Just wanted to comment on the trading of time for space. I really think we have forgotten about the value of ‘trading’and I’m glad to see you post about it. My partner and I have gained alot of things without spending anything, all because we will trade our services or something we have and don’t need for something we do need.
April 29th, 2010 @ 5:50 pm
I wish there were more people out there who had your philosophy about the living situation for many of us graduating-college-kids out here. It really makes me feel good to hear that there are so many people who are out there who are out for the well-being for others.
If you ever need another assistant who can’t get enough of a new world and horses… :P
April 29th, 2010 @ 5:54 pm
Happy for you both! Would love to do a similar thing for a student in exchange for light housekeeping and other small chores to free myself up for my art, instead of doing all the chores at night and hobbying/artisting on weekends.
April 29th, 2010 @ 6:23 pm
I’m so glad to hear this from you! I’ve been enjoying Sarah’s blog since it went up, and of course, I check in on yours every day. Though our tastes & ideas are not always the same, I feel a real kinship with you both, and wish only the best for you all.
April 29th, 2010 @ 6:30 pm
I would gladly give space on my farm to anyone with a camper or trailer if they would agree to pet sit for my critters when my husband and i need to travel. Shreve you are so lucky to have Sarah. I have found no one quiet, trust worthy, or interested in watching 4 good dogs, one crazy cat, 6 cooped chickens and two easy horses. I am doomed to pet sitters who sometimes dont work out with disasterous results…last two and a half day trip= $400 vet bill, two trashed carpets, and oddly not one chicken egg since those two & a half days…..
April 29th, 2010 @ 6:35 pm
Sometimes we leap and fall flat. Sometimes we leap and fly. I’m so glad you and Sarah took a chance on each other and that your lives are reaping many unexpected rewards. We’re ALL benefiting from your willingness to risk.
April 29th, 2010 @ 6:36 pm
So glad that things have worked well for you both!!
I have traded space for help and had a good and interesting experience as well.
And I trade services and stuff on occasion…maybe it is more a western, rural thing - not sure, but there is a glorious sense of comradery when a good trade is done.
April 29th, 2010 @ 6:40 pm
I know exactly what you mean. I trade my services for the basics in life. I am a dog handler in rural Alaska. I earn the right to stay warm and happy by caring for 60 hyper huskies.
April 29th, 2010 @ 7:00 pm
Bravo - bravo… BRAVO Shreve!! I LOVE to learn a new angle & you’ve posted one SPOT-ON from a perspective I hadn’t thought of before. As a daily visitor, this post just hit home on SOOOO many levels. I tend to avoid news programs like the plague, but I admit reading huffington each morning (before my ‘house-ily’ awakes) to see major headlines and my-oh-my - your post is not only timely, but poignant. Perspective is such an altering thing. Thank you for enlightening mine on this subject. Peace… and as always - loving hugs to all of your growing farmily!
April 29th, 2010 @ 8:15 pm
Shreve, I was glad to read this and find Sarah’s blog again, as I hadn’t bookmarked it when she first joined you. As a suggestion, could you include the link to her blog on both your websites, the way you do honey rock dawn and daily coyote w/each other? (Maybe you do and I missed it, but I have checked a few times and couldn’t find it.)
Thanks, and I enjoy reading about your “doings” and thoughts.
April 29th, 2010 @ 8:34 pm
My (non-biological) brother and I have had an arrangement for years - he’s a musician and hates the 9-5 thing and I’m a work-place-loving computer programmer for an organ transplant center and do NOT like housework (or having to waste paid vacation days off waiting around for the cable guy), so he stays home & is my personal assistant + picks up my stepson and cooks for the family twice a week. He doesn’t have to stress re: a wage-slave job and I don’t have to stress about household stuff… and we both get to live a life that suits us.
April 29th, 2010 @ 9:01 pm
Wonderful perspectives, especially about your Mexican friend. I am newly single, but with 3 nearly grown children at home, and you have given me much food for thought in how life can unfold for me.
As always, you think outside the box, the house and the ranch, to embrace the world community. Thank you.
April 29th, 2010 @ 10:26 pm
Does Sarah get to be around Charlie? I know you had mentioned he can only be around you and MC, so, just wondering how that works out.
April 29th, 2010 @ 10:31 pm
NEVERMIND! I’m reading the CNN story and my question is answered there.
April 29th, 2010 @ 11:09 pm
Google Wwoof! I am currently doing work exchange on an organic coffee farm in Kona, Hawaii. It is completely beautiful, in a million ways.
April 30th, 2010 @ 12:47 am
I really like that anecdote, Shreve. Not all interactions are one-way. :)
I can also vouch for the total awesomeness that is WWOOFing. A cheap method of travel becomes a priceless exchange between strangers. The generosity I have experienced has been very moving.
If anyone’s interested, I’ve written about my experiences here: http://lostisfound.wordpress.com/2010/04/21/a-wwoofers-life-for-me-recap/
April 30th, 2010 @ 4:08 am
Such a fantastic post, Shreve! Hopefully more people will stumble on this solution as well. If nothing else, it makes for interesting stories! :)
April 30th, 2010 @ 7:04 am
I mentioned to a neighbour that we swap fresh eggs from our hens with our favourite taxi driver, for vegetables from his garden. Neighbour said, that’s the way it’s supposed to be. Not quite the same thing that you’re doing, but it’s in the same area, so to speak. I think, hope, we’ll go in for more of that kind of thing, as a way of exchanging things we have for things we need, without getting money involved. After all, as we have seen with the recession, money is not at all reliable.
April 30th, 2010 @ 7:13 am
My cousin who has been laid off for over a year now moved his travel trailer onto our property last November. Haven’t regretted it yet. He takes great care of the yard, handles the cable/phone/whatever service people without me having to take a day off work, and feeds the dogs every night since I get home late from work. He even cooks great meals to share from time to time. Now if only he didn’t hate my cats, life would be perfect.
April 30th, 2010 @ 8:51 am
I love this idea and I’m glad it’s working out for you! I could totally see myself doing something like this one day. In fact, I love the idea of a writers “dorm” - but for adults.
April 30th, 2010 @ 10:36 am
I’ve actually thought about an arrangement like that. I have 4 acres (but a small home) and can’t even begin to keep up on it or try to get it how I would like. Someone putting a small trailer at the edge of the woods just to help out would be ideal. What’s stopped me? The hassle of finding someone trustworthy and who I would be safe around.
April 30th, 2010 @ 11:31 am
Wow, that’s 2 in two days for me. I have been stressing about getting help around my home and this kind of helped. Thank you!
April 30th, 2010 @ 11:43 am
Nobelesse Oblige. A term that has been misunderstood, dismissed or denigrated.
A noble obligation.
Karma.
Whatever.
It is the obligation of those that have to help those less fortunate.
And it equates to all levels of society.
It’s doing the right thing and helping each other.
It is not only behaving honorably but also responsibly. And that used to be that the landowners made sure their people had jobs, shelter, food, etc. Not all of the upper classes abused those that worked for them.
It goes back as far as the barter system. My Dad built a brick wall for a carpet layer. He came out and laid carpet in my parents’ house.
Sarah does chores and is free from having to find money each month to pay rent. Shreve gets some free time to develop projects.
Everyone wins.
I think it’s a wonderful idea to promote this. Someone who has a free room can gain an extra hand around the house and yard. Yes, in this day and age you must be careful.
But I could sure use a “wife” to do the laundry, some cooking and cleaning. Then maybe I’d be able to do that EdD I’ve been putting off.
Shreve, I’m so glad this worked out for you and Susan. Our current economic situation has lent itself to a number of retro movements. Victory gardens, barter. Why not this? Give it a catchy name and promote it and who knows where it will lead?
April 30th, 2010 @ 11:44 am
This is a wonderful idea, and might I add that Sarah is very, very lucky! I’ve always admired your simple way of living, Shreve. Maybe someday when I’m older I can follow in your footsteps and live more honestly and freely.
April 30th, 2010 @ 12:14 pm
Thanks for the update Shreve. I have been hoping to hear how things are working out from your perspective! I read Sarah’s all the time but its nice to hear from your end. Rock on you two….so glad its working out so well.
April 30th, 2010 @ 5:51 pm
My husband and I have an arrangement like you have with Sarah. We have a renter that, in the beginning, paid us rent for the upstairs apartment in our home. Because of some things going on in his life, rent slowly changed to helping us out with our house repair, watching our pets when we’re gone, and cooking dinner sometimes. Today our renter/friend has been laid off so we will just continue with the system we’ve transferred to. It makes for a great little community and it is getting our friend thru a really rough spot in his life.
May 1st, 2010 @ 4:26 am
“a true artist never gets bored”.
This is so true. Sarah does seem like a real nice fit for you. It’s awesome how you are so willing to change and live outside the box. Too bad they don’t teach these qalities in public schools.
Rock on Shreve.
May 1st, 2010 @ 6:10 am
Shreve, you are one of those people who make things better wherever they go.
Then others see how to do that, too.
You are so valuable just being You and expanding and becoming your Best You. That is the lesson that is so good for others to absorb. A lot of Americans grow up feeling that (a) they don’t matter; or (b) they matter more than anyone else. You and others like you pay attention to nature and what’s around you, and thus learn how to stay balanced, full of life and health.
It’s all common sense, but people these days need some help identifying what is sensible and sustaining.
May 1st, 2010 @ 10:54 am
The concept is ideal. Far from new, it represents a kind of coexistance with which many of us are unfamiliar. As Shreve notes, in light of our changing economy, it may behoove us all to begin thinking in this direction.
Although I probably would benefit greatly from such an arrangement, the greatest difficulty involved in taking this step lies in getting past my own feelings of vulnerability.
In our age, in our country, we have particular notions of ‘personal space’, ‘ownership’. The fear of losing what is ‘ours’ makes us very guarded. Rather than risking relationship with an other, many of us prefer seeking help from impersonal sources; i.e., those that are liscensed, bonded, insured, etc…
The decision is difficult.
On the one hand, is it better to play it safe than expose ourselves to the possibility of predation? On the other hand, are we playing it too safe, at the expense of our humanity?
May 2nd, 2010 @ 7:22 am
This post and the comments that follow are what the world needs. You’re amazing Shreve for doing it in the forst place, then for sharing it with others. I have a somewhat different angle on the theme …
A couple of years ago, my friend uprooted his life for his partner. When the relationship failed, he moved back from overseas with no home, no job, no car and very few belongings. We created space in our small home to take him in. What we got was less tangible but no less valuable. I suffer from depression. Having him around and helping him get back on his feet, has helped me to feel better than I have in years.
Now 7 months later, he has a great job and just found a great place of his own to live. It’s nearby us even though his commute is long. We’re all glad to have each other closer in our lives than ever before.
Scott
May 2nd, 2010 @ 9:35 pm
I am glad to see that someone is making use of this type of thing in such a wonderful and positive way.
I live in the South. Five years ago, there was this little storm called Katrina…and my home was rendered unlivable. It wasn’t as torn apart as it could have been, but there was no way that I could live in it. There was also no conceivable way that my family and I could get the money for repairs. We were denied federal aid and local sources of help were drained dry in days (literally).
However, a friend of ours had already offered to let us stay in her house during the crisis. Her house, let it be said, is enormous, and she lives with only her husband. She had two spare bedrooms plus a bathroom, and was willing to share for as long as it took for us to get our trailer fixed.
At first we paid rent. Then, my husband was hurt: he broke his foot. This sounds minor, until the rest comes into focus. He’s also diabetic, and walked on the broken foot for five days before noticing anything at all. He felt no pain: the nerves in his feet are dead.
He was laid off from work, at first “just until your foot heals” and then, as we realized how difficult it was going to be for his foot to heal, the boss just dropped him. As for me, I was in school - trying to complete a bachelor’s degree in the hopes that the training would help me get a better-than-minimum-wage job…and between caring for my husband and my son, plus a full class load (I couldn’t get financial aid if I were a part time student)…well, the stress was rough. I didn’t have enough hours in the day to even look for work much less commit to a part time job.
Things began to get worse. My husband’s condition deteriorated. After a year of struggling with his foot - now with a large sore on it that simply refused to heal - he contracted staph infection, and had to be hospitalized. In the end they had to amputate his big toe. A minor sacrifice, but a sharp wake-up call for all of us.
The woman who’d offered me shelter had agreed to accept various tasks in return for our shelter. After my husband’s hospitalization, she began to ask when we would be able to go back to our own place.
This is when I found out that the people (family members, cousins of my husband’s) who had been promising to “fix up” my trailer had done no such thing. In fact, when I finally got to inspect the trailer..it was gutted. The yard and front steps had been mended and fixed and looked quite grand. But the front door, rather than being replaced, was simply nailed shut. Inside, every light fixture had been removed. All the carpet had been torn up. The kitchen faucet, the refrigerator, and the stove had been taken. They even took the shower head and the breaker box. I can’t even imagine why.
Our benefactress at this point decided to try to set up a more formal agreement about what I would be expected to do in return for staying in her home.
Here’s where it really gets ugly.
I now find myself doing around 60 hours a week of work. I don’t have the ability to go to class (not because of time, because of another problem); therefore in my benefactress’ opinion I have plenty of time for chores. I cook three meals a day and clean six rooms of the house (out of eight) pretty much every week. To be fair, she doesn’t chide me if I get lazy about the dishes or if I reheat leftovers two nights in a row for dinner. But she has consistently treated me not as a valued friend and helper to her life, but as a convenience to be taken for granted.
For this work, I receive a small amount of cash: just enough to pay the only bill that is in my name, the phone bill. It’s not even enough to cover the medications my husband needs every month. For that, if I need her help to pay for it, I must do extra work such as mowing the lawn.
I am desperately trying to find a way to get out of this situation, that allows my husband to still be cared for and kept in an environment that will keep him well. All our current options are actually worse than this…near slavery.
Seeing that there are people out there who can use my kind of help, and be grateful for it, is of immeasurable relief to my spirit. It means that there is hope and that I can make something better out of my life.
Thank you all for that, and especially Shreve. Without your example stimulating our thinking more towards the positive, I think we’d all be a little less than we are. Just for knowing of you and being privileged to small glimpses of your life, you’ve enriched mine. Thank you.
May 4th, 2010 @ 11:41 am
sounds like things are working especially well for you and Sarah. your approach sounds like a variation on the montessori method/theme, i.e., cooperative, helpful spirit. sent my son to montressori school for pre- and elementary school, he then switched to and survived the competitive public school environment to the graduate level, but now he, his wife, and kids are now always giving back to their community/neighborhood and enjoying every minute of it.
May 4th, 2010 @ 2:52 pm
This speaks to me in a really big way, as someone whose business is getting a bit too big for just my britches….
You always have such goodness at the core of your intentions and I am so excited that it’s working - glitches and all.
As this year progresses and I move into things I’ve long wanted to learn like forming and engraving and cabbing stones I will return to this post for inspiration I am sure.
Love,
Allison
May 4th, 2010 @ 6:47 pm
I agree. I think the world is changing and more and more people are also realising that we each have a skill and talent to give.
Forget co-housing if you aren’t in a position to do it. But know that you being a hairdresser can get your car fixed for free if you give him a free haircut. Its an interesting theory. Money is never exchanged and we see everything on an even playing field. Everything is not worth more value then the next.
I strive for the world to become a place like this.
May 7th, 2010 @ 9:14 am
I echo a lot of the previous sentiments in that I wish more people would have the kind of mindset the two of you share.
The key to that sort of co-existence I believe totally depends on having the right kind of person on both ends of the deal. Sadly there are too many people out there who are all too willing to take advantage of people and their desperate situations, and on the flip side, too many people who will settle for nothing less than cash in their pocket.
I am very glad you have found this kind of balance, Shreve, with Sarah because it is a hard thing to come across. I continue to believe people at heart are basically decent, but we live in such desperate times it’s hard to know who you will be getting when they show up on your door.
I’m glad Sarah was the right girl for you, and has allowed your creativity to continue to thrive.