How I Do
☆ June 4, 2010
The question that’s currently inundating my inbox is the one I’ve received the most over the past few years, and while I’ve partially addressed it in my book and in some interviews, I am going to try to tackle it here, fully. And it is: “How did you take the leap of faith?/ How did you make such a drastic change with your life?/ How did you swing it financially?/ How did you DO it?”
This was a hard post to write. The answer is multifaceted and it’s a tricky question for me to answer because so much of it is tied up in who I am ~ my past, my self, my personality. But the bottom line, and the truth of it, is that I practiced.
I have practiced leaving and going and trusting and doing and taking risks and making things work on my own (and my own terms) for years. Decades. First on a small scale, then gradually increasing in scope and degree of commitment required. For as long as I can remember, I have pushed myself outside my comfort zone. I like to test myself. I still do this, all the time.
Meanwhile, I was learning to pay attention to my intuition and to trust it. I remember so many times when I would be given direct information in my head and I would ignore it and then life would prove that I was really, really dumb to have ignored that information.
This happened enough times that I finally said, OK, I don’t understand this and can’t explain it but I know I must always pay attention to that voice. And now I confidently make major decisions by tapping into that part of myself and paying attention to the information it gives me. I hold logic in very high esteem but if intuition says “yes” or “no” and logic says the opposite, I go with intuition. And I’ve never been sorry.
I believe wholly and absolutely that everyone is capable of having a strong and trustworthy relationship with their intuition, but it’s something that’s been forgotten or ignored or dismissed by our society. It, too, takes practice to become proficient, just like any skill. And I believe it is a skill, not a gift.
So there’s A) Practice and B) Trusting my intuition. C) is Failure.
Failure is really not as bad as it’s made out to be. I have failed so many times. SO MANY TIMES. Some have been minor, some major. But I think we’ve been conditioned to believe that failing is The Most Horrible Thing Ever and in reality, it’s more akin to skinning your knee. Or even getting a compound fracture. Sure, it hurts in the moment and you have to work harder to recover, just as your body must work a bit harder repairing a skinned knee or broken bone. But then, as is true for scar tissue, you’re stronger in that spot. I happen to learn best from failing. I would rather fail than not try. And sometimes I don’t fail at all. I fly.
Somewhere in this, somehow, I need to say that I don’t do things that I think are stupid. I do things that other people think are stupid, but based on practice, intuition, what I know of myself, and what I know I’m willing to risk or sacrifice, my choices never seem stupid to me. The mother of my best friend in high school had a saying, “be wild and crazy, not stupid and dangerous.” What I’ve learned is that you are the only one who knows where the line between the two lies for you.
As for the financial aspect, for me, it, too, goes back to practice and intuition and trust. When I moved to Wyoming, I did not have very much money and I did not have a job lined up. I knew that moving here was the Right Thing (and this was full-on intuition: I had not even been to this town before. My ride across the Bighorns was two hours north of here. I rented a house sight unseen, over the internet, from New York City.) Anyway, since I knew this was Right, I knew I would make something happen, work-wise, because I had to. Because I had done it in the past. Because I believe when you are doing what is right for you, in the truest sense of the word, things conspire to help you.
That said, I am A-OK with a low standard of living. I have a $1500 truck. No car payments. I have catastrophic health insurance with a $7000 deductible. Low monthly payments and I don’t go to the doctor. When I moved here, I didn’t have internet service or long distance (and I still don’t have a cell phone). I went to the library to use the internet and in doing so, I saved a bunch of money and made friends. I know what I need and I know what I don’t need and that helps me in my decisions.
So…. where does one start? Practice! Give yourself a day and just start walking. See where you end up. Take breaks when you need to on the side of the road. In a strange cafe. See what you see or who you meet. Take water, pen and paper, trail mix and your cell phone so you can call a friend to pick you up at the end of the day. The commitment level is low but the exploration quotient is high! Who knows what might change in that one day.
As for intuition, I don’t really know how to explain practicing that skill, so if anyone out there has suggestions, please please leave your ideas in the comment section. I know it is intrinsically linked with awareness. So maybe start with making lists: What do you want? What are you willing to sacrifice? What do you refuse to give up? What are you willing to risk? What, to you, is the worst thing that can happen (know thine enemy, so to speak)? Define these things. This kind of awareness brings power. One thing I learned on my Vespa trip is that confidence keeps a woman safe. Take that a step further and you have self-awareness. You have that, you have real power.
So. This is what my path has been and continues to be. “Practice” is probably the most boring and undesired answer. But that has been my truth. And while magical serendipitous experiences or profound epiphanies are incredibly awesome and can transform one’s perspective or physical reality in a moment, I believe practice and diligence are just as important. In playing the piano, one must first learn scales. And after mastering the third movement of the Moonlight Sonata, you still practice your scales. Said another way: “Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.”
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June 4th, 2010 @ 11:14 am
thank you, well worth your efforts. I will show this to my daughters, sometimes anothers words sink in deeper.
June 4th, 2010 @ 11:20 am
So true that it is unacceptable to fail these days. For several years I have ignored the tug of adventure for health insurance, a paying job, resume building and acceptance to graduate school. The truth is doing just that is a great way to waste your lifetime. I hope to be brave enough one day to drop everything and do what I really want to.
June 4th, 2010 @ 11:31 am
Thank you! …. and sometimes …. you fly YOU FLY!
June 4th, 2010 @ 11:35 am
So true.
June 4th, 2010 @ 11:55 am
Thank you for sharing this. I was just wondering all of this about your life last week. What I’m paying attention to right now is that several of the bloggers I follow are writing about variations of this – LIVING your life. I’m listening and soaking it all up. Thank you especially for the analogy regarding the skinned knee. Brilliant.
June 4th, 2010 @ 12:01 pm
Great post, and timely, too.
I liked that you admitting your many failures – I’ve spent my life so in fear of failure that I rarely left my safety zone. Until I made the ‘leap of faith’ and moved clear across the country to Atlantic Canada.
Will I make it? I don’t know. But I’ll never regret it. Better failing than regretting never have tried.
Just found your blog. Great pics, love all your creatures!
June 4th, 2010 @ 12:05 pm
I’m reading your book right now, and I find I give myself more credit and I’m trusting those feelings inside.
I write to get in touch with my intuition and to know what those strange feeling inside mean.
I too have failed and was ashamed for a long time because of it. Now I have become a much stronger person because of the lessons I learned.
Thank you for your words.
June 4th, 2010 @ 12:09 pm
Intuition – to me/for me, it is “that still, small voice”. I would describe my own experience in learning to trust it as similar to yours in that after NOT listening because it maybe seemed to go against the grain of “common sense” or I was in a hurry…I have learned to pay attention to it and as you said, to be AWARE of it.
For myself, having a vision of what I want is something I have always done, even before I realized that I did it. The cognitive moment was being asked to write my vision in a workshop. The requirement was to write a vision of my perfect day with detail, i.e. all of the minutiae. It was easy for me as I KNEW – I lived with the vision in my head. I find that most people do not know – they have a vague idea and it does not drive them. Although I am sure that the same thing does/will not work for everyone, it seems that we all can benefit from the defining. You said it, it gives great power to know. It helps you decide what to say yes to and what to say no to.
Funny to read your words on failure. And on taking risks. I always, always go to the “what will I do if the worst happens”. I deal with that and THEN spend my energy on the positive. Usually, the worst is not that bad anyway :) and once you have a plan for the worst, it ceases to be a worry.
Ultimately, “to thine own self be true”. We were made unique for a purpose.
Also – “know when to fold ’em.” I believe that being so afraid to fail that we will stick with whatever, is a worse failure than coming to grips with a choice that is not right for us.
My last thoughts…Embrace each and every moment – good, bad, difficult, challenging, dull or exciting – whatever – they all have their opportunity to teach us something.
June 4th, 2010 @ 12:11 pm
Oh…I have Lilies-of-the-valley on my desk…in a lavendar crackle-grass cruet :)!
June 4th, 2010 @ 12:37 pm
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Once again you’ve made me both think and smile.
I have known many people who thought that leaving it all and tossing-out their old life was the answer to their discontent when in fact they were unhappy with themselves — who they were becoming. A change of scenery and job doesn’t result in a Honey Rock Dawn life.
I am a Christian. That is the framework I use to try to become the person I dream about. Others can choose a different framework but core is the idea that we are either becoming more of the person we dream to be or becoming less.
I am blessed with the Sue Miller version of a Honey Rock Dawn because I am becomming the person I dream to be. I have a long way to go but I’m finding the journey very much worth it regardless of whether I’m in Wyoming (as I once was) or Wisconsin.
June 4th, 2010 @ 12:41 pm
Back in the 1980’s, I designed parts of flight simulators for a living. Doing the design on paper was one thing, but actually making it work required facing a wall of unfamiliar electronics. I found I could work myself up into believing I could do anything with that wall of electronics, and that belief was absolutely essential to making anything work at all. Confidence breeds success.
I also learned to trust my intuition while working on flight simulators. I’m firmly of the belief that intuition comes from observations made at an unconscious level; it’s stuff that you know, but don’t know you know. I got to where I could look at the image being projected for the flight simulation and go right to the offending unit without thinking about it. That taught me to trust my intuition in other contexts, too, and it very seldom fails me.
June 4th, 2010 @ 1:02 pm
You are absolutely inspirational.
I’ve been following you since very shortly after you started Daily Coyote, and now I’m just as addicted to Honey Rock Dawn…long time fan, first time poster.
What a wonderful, insightful explanation you have offered. I have often wondered how you’ve done it all, as well.
Seems to me you have mastered the “work to live” mentality that is so commonly found outside this country, as opposed to the “live to work” attitude most commonly accepted and followed here in the states. It’s sad, but true.
I’m so often inspired by your relationship with the land and your farmily, as well as your openness to learn and observe everything you can. Your protective and outspoken nature (when it comes to your privacy) is also inspirational.
Big ups to you, Shreve. Way to really live.
The rest of the world could learn a thing or two from you and your amazing attitude towards life. Thank you so much for continuing to share your journey.
June 4th, 2010 @ 1:07 pm
This made me smile. My husband and I credit everything we have to taking leaps of faith. Even when everything and everyone seems to say no, if it feels right, then we just trust our instincts. Phill (Husband person) calls it the forces of heck! As in what the heck. He says we shouldn’t go against the forces of heck! LOL!!
June 4th, 2010 @ 1:12 pm
Shreve, if you could bottle this and sell it, you’d be a millionaire ;)
June 4th, 2010 @ 1:32 pm
A breath of fresh air.
I admire your fortitude, honesty (especially with yourself),
your wit and your writing and photographic skills.
I may be old enough to be your mother, but take inspiration
from your life as you express it.
June 4th, 2010 @ 1:47 pm
Thank you for your post. It is funny how sometimes seeing words on paper or a blog are needed to make it real. I used to live the reality and trust the universe would provide when I was in my 20s. I didn’t get a “real” job until I was almost 30. Somewhere along the way, I found a great career in technology but now that career makes me feel trapped. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts as I am edging my way to a leap of a new leap of faith. I hope to be writing very soon from my new life in Montana.
June 4th, 2010 @ 2:16 pm
Thank you so much for writing this (as well as everything else on your blogs and twitter). This entry is especially inspiring to me, as I am finally starting the process of moving out of my parents house at age 22. I’ve wanted to since I was 18, but self-doubt and the fear of having to make the move of shame back into my tiny childhood bedroom has held me back.
I think we are alike in some important ways. While I like things like going out to eat, buying makeup, and new clothes, I know that the food I make at home is cheaper and usually heathier, that makeup is a luxury item, and clothes need merely to protect me from exposure. Letting go of these things isn’t a sacrifice, it is freeing myself from my parents’ house.
I’ve also learned more valuable lessons from my mistakes than from my successes. Another reason for me to make the jump; if I fail, at least there are things to be learned.
Again, thank you for sharing your life and your wisdom with us. Charlie and his undeniable charm brought me here, but the insight you provide through your experiences is what made me stay.
June 4th, 2010 @ 2:19 pm
“As for intuition, I don’t really know how to explain practicing that skill, so if anyone out there has suggestions, please please leave your ideas in the comment section.”
I belong to an order of warrior knights who teach and practise the development of intuition using mental exercises that stretch the skill and make it part of our everyday lives. It starts with two things: trusting that what you “see” or “hear” or sense in any way is actually correct, and getting rid of the fear of “failure.” And then we “work” with what we have along the lines of a bunch of blind men describing an elephant:
Someone will, for example, focus his thinking on an object, and tell everyone to give him their impressions of what they can pick up from his thoughts (if you want to call it telepathy, go ahead — that’s not exactly what it is, but it will do for purposes of describing what we do). Someone may say, “sharp.” Another might say, “black.” Still another, “shiny.” Someone else might say, “wind blowing in my hair.” And still another might say, “I feel like I’m in a forest, up in the branches.” And one person simply keeps opening and closing her fist. I don’t usually “see” things, but I do “hear” them, and what I heard on this occasion was a cat’s meowing, so I said, “cat.”
And we were all correct. What was it? A hand puppet of a crow. We all saw or heard or felt different aspects of it. Why was “cat” correct? Outside my apartment building, there is a crow that meows like a cat.
Anyone can do it. Just keep in mind that you need to give yourself permission not to be “perfect,” and that you may fail several times, but you’re not a failure until you stop trying.
June 4th, 2010 @ 2:49 pm
That was beautiful, young lady. Stay awesome.
June 4th, 2010 @ 3:30 pm
It’s so funny that your answer was “practice”!! I teach art classes, and I often get asked “How do you get good at what you do?” And of course, the answer is always “practice”!! I always think of that when it comes to other activities, but not mental or emotional ones. It’s almost an epiphany to me. I am often scared to move out of my comfort zone, so I guess I’m going to have to practice!
Thanks for sharing so much of your life with us. I enjoy visiting your blogs every day!
June 4th, 2010 @ 4:24 pm
That’s a perfect photo for a great post. My practice has been:
Do I want burritos or burgers for supper? just open the fridge and see what you reach for.
Do I want to ride my bike down this path, or that path? Just ride and see what direction your handlebars turn.
Does this road or that road have less traffic at this time of day? just get to the intersection and see which direction you turn your signal light.
When it comes to bigger decisions, it’s just an extension of of the little practices I do everyday.
June 4th, 2010 @ 4:26 pm
A little more than a year ago my husband and I decided to uproot our lives and move east after having been in the NW for 15 years. It was a huge leap of faith: we did not have jobs, we did not have a place to live, we had a 14 year old daughter we were taking out of school. It was scary as hell, but honestly even after all the difficulties we’ve faced I think it is one of the greatest things we’ve ever done.
Sometimes you just KNOW. and you are right you have to allow yourself to listen to that KNOWING; otherwise you might miss out.
June 4th, 2010 @ 4:27 pm
There are so many ways to say it.
“Listen to your inner voice”.
“Make it work.”
“Trust yourself.”
“Find a way or make a way.”
I think practice covers it. There are times when I’ve followed my intuition and things have worked out fine. And there are times I’ve ignored my intuition because it was wild and crazy, illogical, didn’t make sense, there was nothing to back it up, it was reckless, whatever. And usually the result is that I should have gone with my gut; my first instinct was spot on.
I sat in on interviews with my boss and a coworker once. At the end they wanted this one guy and I told them I didn’t know why and had nothing to back it up but I favored their second candidate. They decided to do a little more research. Turns out their guy had management problems with those he supervised. He got along fine with upper management but those that worked for him had little good to say. We hired the candidate I favored and he turned out to be just the go-getter we needed. I have no clue where my decision came from. But my boss told me point blank: “You need to trust your intuition, not dismiss it.”
I’ve been practicing that ever since. And I’m getting better.
June 4th, 2010 @ 4:31 pm
Very well-explained. My intuition speaks softly, but clearly. It was what brought me to NY 10 years ago, and it’s now taking me to Idaho after a 36-hour visit last month.
June 4th, 2010 @ 4:55 pm
I have been married three times and do not regret it (#3 and I have been together for 27 years) because the little voice inside my head reminds me that i will only go round once in life.
My work often requires me to deal with spreadsheets with lots of big numbers, and occasionally that voice tells me to double check a particular line–that voice is usually right on.
I believe in karma, and what goes around, comes around–and I have yet to be disappointed.
Bottom line–make the most of life, quit bitching about the little things, and LISTEN TO THAT LITTLE VOICE INSIDE YOUR HEAD–it’s called intuition and it is rarely wrong!
June 4th, 2010 @ 5:14 pm
Bravo!
June 4th, 2010 @ 5:32 pm
Exellent post Shreve. I wil say one hing though, it’s much easier to follow your intuitiion when you are single.
June 4th, 2010 @ 5:40 pm
Thank you!!! I am making the biggest change
and needed the feedback to embrace the “right” for me becuase i have been dismissed by our society(family). and I do not have much money but need the chamnge of living more.
thank you
keep writing!
you are an inspiration
June 4th, 2010 @ 7:12 pm
I love the picture of the beautiful blond horse breaking away from the herd.
June 4th, 2010 @ 7:39 pm
Thank you for this. For shining a light into your own vulnerability to help us see ours.
June 4th, 2010 @ 9:42 pm
Bravo!!! You are so right on. However, I believe that you do NOT Fail, you just experience an “Intermediate Impossible.”
June 4th, 2010 @ 10:22 pm
I have an ability to see things before they happen and don’t know how to work with this yet. There isn’t an instruction manual. I get visions that feel like day dreams, where your mind wanders or drifts and you don’t really attach any meaning to them. Yesterday I had a flash of a snake curled up as I stepped up a steep embankment on a hike. My mind tends to “go there” so I didn’t give it much attention. Sure enough I almost stepped on a large snake. These experiences tend to come almost as warnings, as if someone is encouraging me to open my eyes in preparation for what’s about to happen. I think my experiences with this are more psychic-intuitive than what you’ve written about, but there’s still something very basic about this stuff that involves quieting the mind and just listening … and not taking it for granted when our minds “wander” and drift. I think the kind of intuition you’ve described involves observing our reactions, thoughts, feelings and allowing ourselves the space to feel pulled in one direction more strongly than another.
June 4th, 2010 @ 10:30 pm
I hear you. I’ve done a lot of things where people ask me the same question and are kind of awed that I did it at all. But I’ve always had this “Go Big Or Go Home” attitude for the things I really want to pursue, and so I just went for it… having faith that it would work out. When it didn’t, it was just my path changing direction but I still reached a goal at the end.
Intuition is so key. I learned the hard way about ignoring it. I had a feeling a few years ago to not go on a trip, and told maybe 5 people all these reasons why I really didn’t have time to or shouldn’t go… but I felt I could make the time and went anyway… and was nearly killed in a head-on collision.
I’m still recovering. Now, I LISTEN to my intuition. If I get a bad feeling, I pay attention. Since, it’s never steered me wrong.
June 5th, 2010 @ 12:27 am
Thanks for sharing.
I have taken many leaps of faith with a calculated risk.
Rather than doing what I am “supposed” to do I have filled my life with amazing experiences.
My problem is that I have been able to fulfill a lifelong dream. That came to an end after 5 years. I am hoping for a new dream to come by that inspires me.
Current work / life situation sucks the life out of me. Need to change things.
I found you while doing some research about one of my projects. Crossing the US with a Vespa while making an audio diary and taking pictures. Meeting people and record their story.
Your blog inspires me.
Thanks.
June 5th, 2010 @ 1:00 am
I have to be honest I haven’t read all of your post yet. I have an early day tomorrow and I’m still up! WTF?! I got two paragraphs in and knew it would be an epic post. I need to set aside more time to read it.
Anyways, anyone who is afraid to fail out there, read “Screw It, Let’s Do it” by Richard Branson. Yes the Virgin Airlines guy. Or “Failing Forward”. (Forgot the author) Pick Yourself up by your OWN bootstraps and make it happen! That’s clearly what Shreve did/does. And I think why many of us are drawn to her and her websites.
No one out there can change you. Only YOU can change YOU.
In my delirium I’ll stop typing now. I’ll finish reading your post once i emerge from the forest. I know it’s good. And i can wait.
June 5th, 2010 @ 3:15 am
thank you, shreve. what you’ve struggled to put into words is so very important – and you’ve said it very well.
i think intuition is genetically programmed into us & is real, a left-over survival mechanism from pre-verbal days. (and a lotta fun, to boot!)
i find if i’ve let life overwhelm me, let my mind get cluttered up with fear & externally-imposed “shoulds,” and disconnected from my Self, that’s when intuition gets blocked. so encouraging intuition would mean quiet, centeredness, awareness of interconnection, and the willingness to be open.
a moment when i listened to intuition: i felt a deep urge to paint, followed it up, and now have two (tiny, beginners!) pictures in the local gallery!
a moment when i didn’t listen: abt 25 years ago, homeless, $2 to buy groceries for my son – suddenly, at the checkout counter, felt an incredibly strong urge to buy a lottery ticket! didn’t approve of ’em, never had bought one, & wasn’t going to spend half my son’s food money on one. so i didn’t buy it. as i was picking up the groceries & my son, the man behind me on line bought a ticket – and won $500 on the spot! told myself if i ever get that feeling again . . . quarter of a century later – nothing! but i cheerfully wait . . . !
thanks again . . . your commitment & honesty are treasured.
June 5th, 2010 @ 4:29 am
” and in the knowing you will find peace” I don’t know where I read that but it popped into my head after reading this ;0) Thanks Shreve! Best analogy I’ve ever read on failure…I will be shareing it…cheers!
June 5th, 2010 @ 6:12 am
I recommend a fascinating book on the importance of failure: To Engineer is Human: The Role of Failure in Successful Design by Henry Petroski.
June 5th, 2010 @ 7:42 am
Your post was quite wonderful, and I will certainly be recommending – well continuing to recommend – that my younger sister read your work. She’s 18, and at times she acts as cynical as a 40 year old Vegas chorus dancer…it’s very sad to me that she feels there’s nothing in life worth risking anything for, and still believes she has to have some kind of romantic relationship in her life in order to feel validated. She doesn’t see any of this the way I do, so of course she won’t listen to me…and of course I almost certainly sound too much like our mother in a lecturing mood when I try to talk about it, because removing the issue from myself and speaking of it like a school problem is the only way I can even talk about it without breaking down into incoherent sobs…
But your way of looking at things, talking about things, is much more uplifting. You say what to DO, and you don’t condemn other choices, you simply explain your own.
I wish that there were more writers like you in today’s world, and I surely wish that there were some who had children.
I could use some clarity like yours, but I have too much I just won’t sacrifice to go exploring. There are parts of my soul that could fly, I think, given the chance. But flight absolutely requires not being tied to anything…and I just can’t do that. Cutting loose won’t mean taking my husband and child with me, for their choices matter too. Tirzah, you managed it and more power to you, but I see from your words that it was a decision made by all of you. That’s just not true for my situation.
It doesn’t help that I know myself to be broken in ways that don’t always surface. It’s a battle every day in my skull, to keep centered, focused on what is happening NOW and not drowning in my past. It’s a delicate but strenuous act of will to balance what I need to do for my own good, and what I need to do for the good of those in my care. This is adulthood: being responsible for something or someone outside yourself. I know this. Yet I still find myself crying when I read Shreve’s posts.
Why?
Because it is beautiful, moving writing, yes. But for a more base reason too.
I’m so damn jealous of that freedom, that joy, that wonder that I used to know and can’t seem to find anymore. I miss that part of my youth. And looking in on Shreve’s vitality and vibrancy, wonderful as it is…it isn’t mine. And I want mine back, so much so that it hurts.
So tell me, wise ones, friends of the mind…
How do I find the path back to myself?
June 5th, 2010 @ 8:11 am
Shreve, I love it when you share your insights like this. Thanks so much.
One of the most intriguing parts of The Daily Coyote for me was when Mike explained that something just moved him to save one coyote pup and bring it home. Who knows what – the universe, god, mother nature, the stars, some random blip in his brain’s bio-chemistry? But SOMETHING happened inside of him that prompted a certain possibility, a major variation from the norm, and for whatever reason, he made a decision that allowed for a different course.
It made me think of all the times in my life when something inside of me said “Consider this instead…” and when I consider it, which part of me gets the final say in whether I act – my ego or my true self? Because that’s what makes all the difference, I think.
My own thinking about this follows what you express in your post: With age, I better understand that when my ego wins out, it’s always about what other people would approve of, what is safe, and what I could justify to others as legitimate. When I allow my truest self, however, to inform my decisions; when I tune out everything else – especially my own boisterous ego mind – in order to listen to what I really know, want, and need – well, then I make the Right Choice. Yes. Maybe not the “best” choice according to various criteria, but always the Right Choice.
Life is too short and often extremely difficult. The least we deserve is to make it our own.
June 5th, 2010 @ 8:28 am
I would love to hear more people’s thoughts about intuition. I hear the voice and I have no problem listening to it, but I have no idea how to differentiate between intuition and fear. They both feel just as loud and real to me, and many times I have ignored something that I thought was fear only to realize when it was too late that it was actually my intuition.
Any help on this matter would be appreciated :P
June 5th, 2010 @ 8:42 am
A friend of mine once said to me, “You have a great life.” I said “I know, I’m so lucky this happened!” He said “No, you MADE it happen.” He’s right and you’re right – follow your intuition and do what you love and things fall into place.
Even if we don’t get to our destination (which some see as ‘failure’), taking chances on the journey opens so many doors worth opening and stepping into!
June 5th, 2010 @ 3:19 pm
Thank you for this! Very inspiring and helpful. My fiance and I have been scheming for years about converting an old school bus into a camper (a la Ken Kesey) and just GOING…following the wind. We’ve spent the last five years of our lives working hard at school and jobs to make ends meet and feel like we’re losing who we are in the rat race, plus we have very little to show for so much time and effort. I’m thinking it might be time to make that dream a reality….
June 5th, 2010 @ 5:50 pm
Shreve, what you wrote about how to recognize intuition and where exactly it comes from is something that really struck a chord in me…I’ve recently been getting to know my intuition and I’m starting to see it as one of the most powerful tools my body has given me. Something that really helped me “define” intuition, if you can do that, is a book called “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin de Becker. A large part of it deals with what exactly “intuition” is and where it might come from (and how different it is from worry and generalized anxiety.) If you’re interested in the concept, I’d reccommend it.
June 5th, 2010 @ 7:22 pm
Beautifully said.
For my part, reflecting on a life well under way, regretting not having the courage to change.
What an inspiration you are.
June 6th, 2010 @ 3:03 am
“I have practiced leaving and going and trusting and doing and taking risks and making things work on my own (and my own terms) for years. Decades. First on a small scale, then gradually increasing in scope and degree of commitment required. For as long as I can remember, I have pushed myself outside my comfort zone. I like to test myself. I still do this, all the time.”
RW and I have practiced the same thing and because of all that practice, we’ve seen many of our personal dreams come true. You’ve just got to know when to hold ’em and when to fold ’em.
Right?
Right.
June 6th, 2010 @ 5:38 am
“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours.” —Henry David Thoreau
June 6th, 2010 @ 7:20 am
“I would be given direct information in my head”
You already know how I feel about ya’..no need to reiterate.
I’m getting my “Joan of Arc” Tattoo soon. She trusted and followed the voice of TRUTH inside of her own heart.
Yes…
June 6th, 2010 @ 9:27 am
it is not coincidental that your post hits ‘home’…it is the reason i found you a fascinating individual. i’ve called you ‘brave’ and ‘courageous’ for setting out to do what i’ve feared (and regret not having done)…to be yourself.
we cling so tightly to a particular path, social norms; when, in fact, we have so much to lose by being ‘sheeple’.
so i am 60 now, with regrets. my firstborn is ‘successful’ but stressed; my secondborn is teetering between the benefits of the corporate world and following his everpresent inner push to be with nature; and the third….like you, Shreve….is setting out at a tender age (not having completed college) to pursue his dreams. he is leaving the east coast and stoggy, unfriendly (but picturesque surrounds of home), and driving his car with 100,000+ miles from boston to vancouver, BC, to oregon and seattle and down thru the coast of CA….deciding where to land and how to continue his artist’s lifestyle.
he refuses to fly and rent a car; a safer journey, IMO.
i am reassured by friends that he is leaving more ‘softly’ than an abrupt air-flight and landing.
he will explore museums across the country.
i pray his car holds up….i pray for his safety…and i know i can’t keep him here forever. there is nothing here. this is an adventure….like yours. xo
June 6th, 2010 @ 10:38 am
Thank you so much for this post! I can’t agree more with everything you said about practice, intuition, and failure. I’m in the process of making some major shifts in my life (though I’m not sure they’re as drastic as yours), and it’s always so inspiring to find someone else who is sharing their path the way you are.
June 6th, 2010 @ 2:43 pm
June 6th, 2010 @ 9:10 pm
Practice. I wholeheartedly agree that is key! The less you experience change, the more frightening the prospect of change becomes. Making small changes and reaching beyond your current boundaries a little more each time makes taking on bigger changes seem possible and less frightening. I’ve been experiencing that at work in particular for the past few years and now feel ready for bigger life changes too.
I think role models are important too. Reading about your experiences has had a definite impact on my decision to finally make the leap to move to a new location with a whole different lifestyle from the one my husband and I have become accustomed to for 15 years. He’s been ready to go for a long time; I have not. Time passes, and life gets in a rut, and sometimes it takes hearing the stories of others to jolt you out of complacency. It’s going to be an amazing adventure, and we can’t wait to get there!
June 7th, 2010 @ 7:56 am
So well said, “Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.”
June 7th, 2010 @ 11:04 am
Oh Shreve – this is so SPOT ON. The only time I’ve ever been truly unhappy with the outcome of a decision has been when I ignored my intuition or instinct.
And I’ve lived a fabulous life and am only now starting to measure my risks with a tape measure and not an odometer, and that’s only because I’m on the other side of half a century.
You have to LIVE. You HAVE to live. Or you won’t.
June 7th, 2010 @ 8:51 pm
I love this post. I’ve always had a strong sense of my own intuition and I’ve found that the only times I got in trouble in my life were the times I found myself overriding my intuition. So now when I hear that voice telling me what I should do, I listen – even if it seems hard or crazy or unreasonable to my intellect. I’ve learned to trust in that intuitive side of myself that knows what’s right for me. You’re very right – it does take practice – and maybe it takes getting smacked in the face with the consequences of *not* listening to it to realize that intuition is a pretty wonderful thing.
I think that some of us also have to learn to let go of fear as well – and that also takes practice. We may hear the voice inside that tells us what to do, but fear holds us back – fear of the unknown, fear of loss of security, fear of failure. As you said – again, the antidote is practice. I have to look hard at what the *worst* possible consequence of failure could be and – as you say – it’s usually not nearly as devastating as my own fear has led me to believe. And so I work on this nearly every day – I find those little instances in life where I have the opportunities to practice. I wish I’d learned this when I was in my 30’s – but I’m grateful to have learned the lessons at all – unfortunately many don’t, I think. Thank you for this post, Shreve. :-)
June 8th, 2010 @ 9:19 am
Your words are mesmerizing. So glad you have more time for writing!
June 8th, 2010 @ 10:21 am
Thank you, I really needed to read this TODAY!
June 8th, 2010 @ 7:07 pm
What beautiful words from all of you…I am IN AWE…
July 10th, 2010 @ 8:08 pm
Have to point out that (and I think Shreve covered this) sometimes intuition *is* wrong. It’s not that it’s useless, it’s that sometimes in the translation between unconscious thought and conscious thought (where intuition lives) we misinterpret what the genius voice is saying. Sometimes it’s fear in its various forms messing it up (bias, prejudice, self-deception). That’s why the practice part is so important, to train yourself to listen to it better and tell the difference between it and the primitive “run from the sabre toothed tiger” part that is, in today’s world for most of us, 99.5% useless.
July 25th, 2010 @ 11:06 pm
That inner voice for me is like a feeling. And it takes practice to listen to and know what its saying just as you said. I translate the feeling into words like learning a new language. And most of the time when I listen to it, other people want me to do the opposite. People call it a lot of things. It defies logic. It is a sixth sense in that I feel it comes along the same way as knowing how someone is without them reveiling it. If someone were to try to get an answer to a specific question, here is what I do. I think of the options, invision each one and choose the one that gives me peace. I base all this information on countless times of not listening to that voice inside, getting to know the voice inside, and the times I HAVE listened, my faith in God, and talks my dad has had with me on this subject when I was a child.
September 25th, 2010 @ 7:09 pm
It was inspirational. Thank you!
December 20th, 2010 @ 2:55 pm
Thankyou. I have hope and I will strive for your courage…
August 25th, 2011 @ 5:47 pm
Found this exactly when I needed it.
thanks.
October 15th, 2012 @ 1:44 pm
When the subject of intuition, gut feelings, and/or instincts come up in conversation, my reply is always this –
I can’t remember how many times I’ve looked back on a situation and thought with much regret, “I knew I should have listened to my gut.”
And every time I have heeded my gut it’s been spot on – every single time.
I’ve also learned if something doesn’t work out the way you’d hoped or planned or wanted, it’s because something better is in store. Be patient.
Oh – and, if everything repeatedly goes to hell in a hand basket so fast it lands you on your butt with your head spinning – this is usually the universe’s way of saying –
Stop. Regroup. Begin Again tomorrow.
Acceptance and patience – 2 of life’s hardest lessons.
October 15th, 2012 @ 4:36 pm
Just read this again. So helpful. It’s given me so much food for thought.
October 20th, 2012 @ 8:15 am
INTUITION – I love Ann from Montana’s response … words to live by!
I’m looking forward to reading the others.
When I’m following Intuition, I’m okay however things turn out …
Easier to notice when we’re Not Listening … Things start to go Wrong.
Gavin DeBecker in his Gift of Fear talks about how many women ignore their intuition in order to be Nice. Not wanting to get into an elevator alone with someone … not wanting to talk to someone, though we’re not sure why.
Oprah talks about it … First the whisper, or the feather … Then the brick … Then the brick wall.
MY INTERPRETATION:
When we do the Right Thing – as Shreve says – for ourselves … Live our own beliefs … Life goes better … Even if it doesn’t work out according to plan …
FOR ME:
Even though things did not work out with my family, I know in my heart that I have done everything I possibly could …. and if there is a Healthy opportunity, I’m okay with contact again. Also, okay if there is not … ever!