Summer 2010
☆ September 28, 2010
Yesterday, I went to court. I was there for the sentencing of the man who spent this summer stalking me.
It began in June, became very intense throughout July, and, the first weekend of August, he was arrested at the motel in my town. He had a loaded .44 Magnum with him. For those who don’t know guns, a .44 Magnum is a handgun that will stop a 1,000 pound grizzly bear.
He’s been in the county jail since then, held on a bond that was too high for him to post. Today, he is being released. He was found guilty of stalking, given the maximum sentence of six months in jail, but with “time served” deducted from the sentence and the rest waived on terms of probation, he is being released today.
When I woke up this morning, I felt sad, depressed, and disillusioned by the court’s decision. Those feelings quickly morphed into anger. I am not scared. I am ANGRY.
The sentencing drove home a point with which I have become more and more intimate over the summer: when it comes right down to it, there is only one person who can keep you safe. And that is you. The only person who can keep me safe is me.
This is why I found such a profound connection in Lisbeth Salander – she is an example of what I have been learning and living and becoming. I’m not necessarily promoting her methods, but I am promoting her underlying truth: The System failed her and she learned to be self reliant. And she excelled at it.
This is also why I will be writing more about this in the coming weeks – though this man found me and became obsessed with me through my websites, attacks on women happen every day, and the vast majority are women who have “normal” lives and no “public” persona.
Also, I’m not pregnant. If I had a penny for every person who emailed me this summer asking if I was pregnant, I’d probably be able to afford a ranch. New policy: All personal questions must be accompanyed by a penny! {just kidding} But, to those of you who sensed something major was happening and assumed I was pregnant, let it be known that I am not pregnant, nor was I at any point this summer (praise the IUD!). This is what was going on.
Next post in this series is HERE
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276 Responses to “Summer 2010”
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September 28th, 2010 @ 11:11 am
Dear god. I hope you stay safe. Please, be ok.
…The system is an ass.
September 28th, 2010 @ 11:14 am
Holy Smokes! Take care of yourself, I know you can and you WILL excel at it. Stay safe.
September 28th, 2010 @ 11:15 am
Just as there is no possible intro, I’m finding it difficult to find the words to comment. Stay safe.
September 28th, 2010 @ 11:16 am
A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.
-John A. Shedd
I like your perseverance, be safe Shreve. :)
September 28th, 2010 @ 11:18 am
OMG Shreve take care of yourself! How frightening! Had a similar experience in college albeit not as dramatic as yours. He just kept showing up no matter where I was including my parents front door step and the middle of the lake when I was skiing!The judicial system is awful—it chokes on an ant and swallows a camel! Take care!
September 28th, 2010 @ 11:18 am
I’m very sorry to hear you’re going through this. No one should ever be faced with this type of situation.
Stay safe.
September 28th, 2010 @ 11:19 am
Lock and load, Girlfriend. Been there, done that.
September 28th, 2010 @ 11:21 am
That is terrible and really scary, I am so sorry. You are an incredible, brave woman. I’m sorry the courts failed on this one – they just don’t seem to GET these kinds of cases. Hang in there!
September 28th, 2010 @ 11:21 am
Be safe.
September 28th, 2010 @ 11:22 am
how awful. I’m so sorry to hear it. I wish I could say something brilliant that would solve your problem. I guess that guns and big dogs and various alarm systems have occurred to you. A friend of mine was stalked and it completely changed his life. Movie stars are stalked. And then they have to hire gigantic bodyguards. I’m going to read about the person you mentioned in your post.
September 28th, 2010 @ 11:24 am
Shreve, it should make you ANGRY, it would make anyone angry. Please do anything you have to to stay safe.
I completely understand and feel the same about Lisbeth Salander, she is a great fictionalized hero.
My best to you,
Nat
September 28th, 2010 @ 11:25 am
OH. MY. GOD. I can’t even find the words. What a horrible, scary thing to be going through. Stay safe, Shreve.
September 28th, 2010 @ 11:25 am
I hope they granted a protective order, which, admittedly, won’t do much to his psyche, but it will provide for instant re-jailing should he not Get the point… That being said, I think I’ve read enough about you (and Mike) to know that taking care of yourself is an art long ago fine tuned.
September 28th, 2010 @ 11:25 am
Seriously frustrating…I know its not fair to imprison someone for a crime they may do in the future, but there really must be more done to protect women from creepy disgusting men who obviously mean harm.
If only 1500 pound Grizzlies were able to be tamed and kept around as protection…
September 28th, 2010 @ 11:26 am
Whoa! So glad to hear that you are alright, Shreve. What a scary, stressful summer for you. Take good care of yourself!
I have been stalked online and while there is certainly no comparison to someone stalking you in person (with a gun no less), it IS downright creepy. These kind of people definitely have a screw loose, or even a mental problem.
September 28th, 2010 @ 11:26 am
So sorry for the months of fear you have endured. You will be an excellent source of heightened awareness on this issue for your readers. Thank you for your willingness to share your story, in this instance and always.
September 28th, 2010 @ 11:27 am
I agree with your statement , “The only person who can keep me safe is me”. Being a retired police officer, I know all too well that the system, especially in cases like this, does not go far enough to protect the victim. I love your state of mind to keep yourself safe. Hopefully this man will not stay in the Ten Sleep area and realize that you will not put up with his obsession. It is a sad testiment to our justice system that sometimes, the victim just has to mete out the justice in the end that the system should have done in the first place.
I love the old saying, “I’d rather be judged by 12 than carried by six.”
Stay safe, my lady. And if ever I can be of assistance or answer questions of legality, please feel free to contact me.
September 28th, 2010 @ 11:28 am
Be safe and be vigilant. Keep the animals close. May the Goddess surround you with protection, safety, and peace of mind.
Margaret
September 28th, 2010 @ 11:29 am
I’m in favor of a little theater. Set up a target somewhere it can be seen from the road, and every day practice with bigger and bigger guns. I don’t know what anybody on a farm would be doing with a shotgun, but I’d borrow one. You’ll become a better and better shot and not just the beautiful blonde who lives alone.
September 28th, 2010 @ 11:31 am
…yes, take it from Lisbeth, I couldn’t agree more !
I think you’re right not to underestimate that guy.
September 28th, 2010 @ 11:36 am
Thank you for sharing your ordeal. Total sympathy and commiseration from this end. :-( I’ve been attacked. But when I was young my father taught me self-defense, so the harm rebounded on the perps. As you say, only you can keep you safe: but know that you also have a whole flock… no, a whole PACK of as-yet unmet friends who are willing to help (as in hair,teeth & eyeballs) if you ask. :-)
September 28th, 2010 @ 11:38 am
I agree that we can only rely on ourselves to protect us. The authorities can`t be there all the time and this…impossibly irresponsible sentencing is instructive on the reality. I`m so sorry you have had to go through this!!! It is beyond anger or rage inducing! In spirit I stand with you…
September 28th, 2010 @ 11:39 am
I’m so sorry this is happening in your life. I hope you get through it, you sound like you’ve got your ish together. Be and stay strong.
How I detest the all too prevalent dark side of life. This is so much more common than society believes, along with rape and incest. Ignorance has much to do with radicals who believe the loss of women’s rights is nothing big, because, “not that many women suffer those horrors.” Thank you for writing about your experience and reminding us that this can happen to anyone.
September 28th, 2010 @ 11:39 am
Shreve, I’m so very glad you are SAFE!
September 28th, 2010 @ 11:40 am
If there is any agency to which you’d like letters written, let us know. These things can sometimes have an effect – also the suggestion that a “responsible” entity’s lack of responsible response is worthy of intensifying press coverage has been known to work.
September 28th, 2010 @ 11:40 am
We are all thinking of you and supporting you, Shreve!!!!!
September 28th, 2010 @ 11:40 am
I have no doubt in my mind that you’re as adept at taking care of yourself as our dear Lisbeth. (I love her too–I’m so sad there won’t be more books!!!) Being out on a ranch, I trust you have the appropriate bang-bangs to deal with any wayward Bjermans, Neidermanns, and Zalachenkos and that you’re equally adept with using them. I also hope this need will not arise.
xox
September 28th, 2010 @ 11:49 am
Is there anything you could do to totally disgust the man out of his obsession? I bet this has been stressful for MC as well. I think your heightened awareness and attitude are your best protection. I had similar experience in college and eventually moved, but it was very uncomfortable and downright scarey as I lived alone, and he was clearly wacko.
Be safe. If the the combined energies and thoughts of all your readers have any power to protect you (and I believe they do) then you have an edge.
September 28th, 2010 @ 11:57 am
Where is this guy now?
September 28th, 2010 @ 11:57 am
I am shocked and saddened and also angry.
This is indeed very troubling.
I hope that you continue to remain safe and that there are enough other people around who are going to help you to do so.
September 28th, 2010 @ 12:01 pm
Visualizing (sensing?) a ring of light around you, Shreve. You are loved. Thank you for telling us about this situation – you will definitely be in my continued thoughts and prayers.
September 28th, 2010 @ 12:03 pm
I am so disappointed in people, why do we have so many sick and dangerous people in this country? Why can’t people just enjoy the story you share? Be safe, be careful, this will change you, but hopefully not the core you. Take care.
September 28th, 2010 @ 12:03 pm
So sorry to hear this Shreve. It has to be so frightening and I pray you and your animals stay safe. I agree with the commenter about letting your readers know if somehow we can help.
September 28th, 2010 @ 12:08 pm
I am envisioning you surrounded by layer upon layer of the universe’s loving protection. I’m also picturing your stalker growing increasingly interested in his own life and uninterested in yours.
September 28th, 2010 @ 12:11 pm
I’m so sorry you went through this! But I think it says a lot about you that even during this awful time you were able to find and celebrate the beautiful things in your life- something we could all remember to do more often. I’m sorry that your web presence has brought you such bad things, but I want to say that I really appreciate you being willing to continue to post and share stories. I find your sites to be very inspirational- whenever I’m depressed I like to go through your sites or read your book, because they all help me to focus on things outside myself. Thank you
September 28th, 2010 @ 12:12 pm
So sorry to hear about this. I hope this will be the last time you have to deal with this kind of psycho. Thank you for continuing to share your story with those of us that are sane.
September 28th, 2010 @ 12:14 pm
Wow, Shreve – scary stuff. It’s not just the big cities or towns with wackos anymore, but quiet little places like Ten Sleep. Be safe and vigilant, but also I wish you empowerment and freedom to live as you wish (instead of looking over your shoulder every 5 seconds). And I wish for your target practice to become better & better every day, but that you never have the occasion to need to shoot anyone.
Peace & Blessings to you and the ‘farm’ily – so glad you have Charlie and Chloe and MC around.
September 28th, 2010 @ 12:17 pm
To think this is the first time I discovered your blog. I understand not being afraid. That feeling leaves then the anger sets in …and in this situation anger can be used in a positive way. Stalking laws suck. I wonder if a judge, their daughter, sister, or best friend was ever stalked would they be so quick to release a criminal early due to time served. I had to leave a job because of a stalker…I hated that I had to but I had to take care of me…take care of you!
September 28th, 2010 @ 12:19 pm
OMG I can’t believe you have to deal with this sicko. I too have had a similar situation at my previous workplace and there was a corporate investigation and the guy was fired. It’s not fun always feeling like you have to look over your shoulder and it pisses me off too. Carry big big guns and don’t hesitate to use them to keep yourself safe. You should put his name all over your websites so that EVERYONE knows his name. Be safe, xoxo and you are in my prayers. If you need back-up, I think there are a few of us on here that will be there in a heart beat!!! I could use a good road trip!
September 28th, 2010 @ 12:20 pm
Oh, Shreve – my heart goes out to you. I haven’t thought about it for years, but as a young woman, I was stalked by two different men. Scary times.
I stand in spirit beside you…keep safe and feel the love and support of your saner loyal readers.
September 28th, 2010 @ 12:20 pm
Stay safe, Shreve, and take care of yourself. We’re all behind you and sending good thoughts your way.
September 28th, 2010 @ 12:23 pm
Get a gun, and become proficient hitting that at which you aim. Your case is yet another example of our government at it’s very worst and most inept. May God bless you and keep you.
September 28th, 2010 @ 12:35 pm
Listen, back in the day, in Texas, there were ways to get rid of someone bothering you. I’m sure there were similar ways in Wyoming, too. Boyfriends and husbands used to be able to fist fight guys like that and end the problem the old-fashioned way. Well, it’s not the old west anymore, but but I hope he doesn’t come around anymore. Maybe pack some heat, get some security. Keep Charlie close by.
September 28th, 2010 @ 12:36 pm
It’s true, that when it gets down to the nitty-gritty, you are all you have. But let’s also do what we can to keep it from getting that far. I’m sure you’ve thought of this, but here’s my advice anyway, build the biggest support network possible. You have everyone here, but get as many of your neighbors in your area on board as possible. Make sure they know what this guy looks like and drives (if possible). Make sure they know what’s going on. Set up a system of help signals. It becomes a phone, email, camera, or flare tree that can start lighting up at the first sign of trouble. I’m sure your neighbors and local business people don’t want this guy around either. If he knows that they know who he is and why he’s there, the power of the group can keep him intimidated and far away. Stay safe, stay angry, fear can become worst damage you can do to yourself. We love and support you.
September 28th, 2010 @ 12:38 pm
OK… Time for more target practice!
September 28th, 2010 @ 12:39 pm
Shreve, how dreadful for you. I can only offer my very best wishes, and make sure that Charlie puts on his very best “Stay away from my Mum” face.
September 28th, 2010 @ 12:40 pm
Another thought. My husband who in high school was on the Nat’l Championship Rifle Team, says all you need is an 18′ pump shotgun, which will deter a person from using any kind of gun if they see it.
How about borrowing dogs that spook easily from neighbors to alert you of anybody around.
September 28th, 2010 @ 12:40 pm
Oh my god. Suddenly the “don’t turn up at my house randomly” posts make a chilling sense. Carry a gun. Don’t be alone. Listen to your farmly– they’ll know when an intruder is present.
September 28th, 2010 @ 12:41 pm
And this is exactly why the 2nd Amendment should never, ever be questioned or removed! All those political people out there want to take away our guns, but they don’t have to worry because they have all their “hired guns” to watch over them. We only have ourselves.
Do whatever you need to be safe, Shreve. For you and for those you love, both human and canine.
September 28th, 2010 @ 12:42 pm
What a friggin bummer. Living in a rural areas lulls us (or me) into thinking that I am safe, somewhat. And in WYO!!! Gees. Please stay safe and make sure your gun is bigger than his.
September 28th, 2010 @ 12:52 pm
I have never commented here before, but I have to let you know that I’ve gotten so much joy from this site. I’m glad you’re keeping on and bringing some daylight to this important and (as many commenters have already said) widespread issue.
I’ve also thought “what would Lisbeth Salander do?” in times of stress.
(Answer: she would taze him. And steal his bike.)
September 28th, 2010 @ 12:52 pm
I am sorry you have to put up with that crap! Keep your gun close, do what you have to – keep yourself and your doggies safe!
September 28th, 2010 @ 12:54 pm
I am so sorry you have to deal with this. Sadly, this type of thing could happen to any woman (or man), yet people tend to get in ruts that encourage or enable stalking behavior (NOT saying that’s what happened n this case!). Better safe than sorry is how I tend to live my life, but every so often I catch myself slacking a bit, and stories like yours are a much-needed wake-up call for me. So sorry that your pain is my/our lesson.
September 28th, 2010 @ 12:54 pm
I’m so sorry he chose to do that to you, and that the system failed to make any concrete effort to protect your safety.
{{hugs}} if you want them, and a fervent wish that you and your farmily stay safe.
September 28th, 2010 @ 12:57 pm
Oh, I am having some creative ideas involving this monster, Sir Baby, Daisy, and Ricardo and a small, tiny, CLOSED STALL.
I bet Ricardo alone would kick his ass.
I’m so sorry Shreve. Please stay safe. I hope he leaves the area. I hope the townspeople who love you so run him out. Ah! Another plan!!
September 28th, 2010 @ 1:04 pm
I’m very sorry to hear this Shreve. I hope you get lucky and your stalker will simply disappear, as mine did.
In my case, the stalker was never caught, and I never saw him/her. There were death threats and other kinds of threats and harrassment, but never anything face to face. Or at least, not that I knew of. It could have been anyone. At least it only went on for three or four weeks, then stopped as suddenly as it began.
One of the things wrong with the system is that it treats stalking as though no long-term harm was done. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. Being stalked changes your life forever. You don’t have to let it destroy your life, but you can’t help being changed by the experience.
IMO, sentences for this kind of thing should be much stiffer, and with mandatory long-term psychiatric counseling. This is not for punitive purposes, but to keep the person being stalked safe while the therapy hopefully diminishes the chance that the stalker will re-offend.
It does get better, Shreve. I’ll keep you in my thoughts.
September 28th, 2010 @ 1:07 pm
I’m so sorry for your experience, and I hope that person lives to regret his choices. I’m heartened to hear you will write more about this and look forward to your words. Take good care!
September 28th, 2010 @ 1:07 pm
Blargh…as another individual who’s had this experience, my thoughts are with you. Take care, stay safe. I’m suprised no one out there off’ed him and hid the body in the BLM!
September 28th, 2010 @ 1:10 pm
I, too, learned the hard way that the legal system doesn’t always work. It was my ex-husband stalking me and I was basically told by the D.A. that he would have to hurt me before anything really could be done legally. I was able to help his ex-wife #3 to get him put away for a while. I’m so sorry you’ve had this experience but I appreciate that you’re sharing with us. I also really hate that something so inspirational and encouraging to so many of us brought this pain to you. Please do whatever it takes to keep you and the farmily safe.
September 28th, 2010 @ 1:15 pm
I’m so sorry you’re going through this! Stay safe and keep thinking WWSD!
September 28th, 2010 @ 1:23 pm
we talked about carring a gun a couple of months ago…use your senses and trust charlies…it is sad that when you let yourself be known some freak tries to spoil it for all of us…but that is not the case here…stay strong and clever..because…he is not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
September 28th, 2010 @ 1:24 pm
OH BTW….i sleep with a 38 right next to me
September 28th, 2010 @ 1:36 pm
I feel profoundly saddened and distressed by this news. Be safe Shreve.
September 28th, 2010 @ 1:40 pm
Please be safe Shreve..I hate that someone has taken something so wonderful (you sharing your farmily and general awesumness with all of us) and made it something ugly..I’m sending you big LD (long distance)hugs and happy thoughts…
September 28th, 2010 @ 1:42 pm
As I read thru the comments, it is UNBELIEVABLE that so many of us women have had to deal with your same situation! What is that all about? I will keep you in my prayers, Shreve. Hopefully the stint in jail was enough to bring him to his senses and leave you the hell alone!
September 28th, 2010 @ 1:42 pm
So scary, Shreve!
September 28th, 2010 @ 1:46 pm
i’m so thankful that you haven’t stopped your blog because of all of this. i want you to know how much i’ve enjoyed your posts, your photography, your humor, and your wit. i’m so sorry this has happened to you and sturdy, strong thoughts to stay safe and feel secure are headed your way.
September 28th, 2010 @ 1:52 pm
Been there, done that. So glad no physical harm has been done YET. Let’s keep it that way. Sending you all my most positive vibes.
September 28th, 2010 @ 1:52 pm
I have found your self-reliance inspiring since the day I started reading The Daily Coyote. I know you will be fine, whatever course you chose to take.
September 28th, 2010 @ 1:52 pm
Oh Shreve, my heart is pained for you. I understand your anger and frustration. And I am so sorry about the way of the legal systems. I will keep you and your Farmily in my prayers. Your story and blogs have touched me and so many others. Oh grr…. Girlfriend – be strong. Pat
September 28th, 2010 @ 1:53 pm
Whew! This is so scary and it is so enraging at the same time. No wonder you were target practicing this summer. I don’t understand why they just let people like this loose. I sure hope he skeddadles (sp?) out of your part of the country and out of your life forever. Best wishes to you, Shreve. Stay strong and safe!
September 28th, 2010 @ 1:54 pm
Oh, Shreve. There are almost no words. I can’t imagine how stressful this must have been for you and your family (your WHOLE family, those with fur and feathers included). I know if anyone can keep you safe…it is you. Funny that you mentioned Lisbeth. I think of her in times I need to gather my strength too.
September 28th, 2010 @ 2:00 pm
Shreve, you’ve every right to be angry. The law has failed you, and your life is in danger because of it. I agree with Brenda above. Lock and load. I’ve been stalked too, and the law did nothing to protect me. I have to remain constantly watchful because my stalker is still out there. I’m ready to deal some shoot, shovel, and shut-up justice, although I hope it never comes to that. But, the way I see it, we girls are just prey in a world of predators.
September 28th, 2010 @ 2:05 pm
I will wish you Luck and pray that you can keep you and your love ones safe sad the system is letting us all down again. Hugs be safe J
September 28th, 2010 @ 2:06 pm
Oh my, bizarre and frightening. Just days ago I was for some reason thinking of your past mentions of strangers randomly showing up at your home, and was suddenly struck with the fear that since you are apparently not difficult to find, one of those people could easily turn out to be a danger to you and your fa(r)mily. I am angry for you.
September 28th, 2010 @ 2:11 pm
Stay safe, alert, and maintain your inner strength.
This too will be a thing of the past soon enough.
September 28th, 2010 @ 2:11 pm
My gun/target practice trainer (similar situation) drilled in my head “Better to be judged by 12 then carried by six!” You will prevail because once you become angry, you are no longer a helpless victim, but have transformed into a powerful warrior on all levels! Now its the stalker who will quake in fear of what he has unleashed!
September 28th, 2010 @ 2:12 pm
Hi Shreve, Take it from an ex-deputy, get yourself a hand gun, something small that you can carry. You should qualify for a conceled weapons permit. You can also get a tazer but you might want something to back that up. Hope you keep safe. I know how troubling it can be.
September 28th, 2010 @ 2:12 pm
Wow, Shreve. I’m honestly kind of speechless over here and I don’t want to believe that these terrible things happen even though I know they do. Sending thoughts of peace and safety your way, to you and your entire Wyoming family. Thank you for sharing your story.
September 28th, 2010 @ 2:13 pm
P.S. Check with your states law and see what rights you have on your property.
September 28th, 2010 @ 2:14 pm
following from eclecta and aleta above: you have a whole PACK of people out here who will surround you with protective energy and light. you don’t even have to ask. and yeah; taze him and steal his bike!!
September 28th, 2010 @ 2:15 pm
Lock and Load sweetie, operate on the 3 “S”s, shoot, shovel and shut-up. I have been through what you are going through. So much that he actually killed his wife so he could “be” with me. And I barely knew him! Every time he comes up for parole, I shudder and get sick to my stomache worrying as to whether or not they will let him out. The system stinks, and does not do anything to protect a woman.
September 28th, 2010 @ 2:17 pm
I am so very sorry you are going through this. I had a stalker many years ago – one who had made a copy of the key to my apartment and would amuse himself during the day by moving my stuff around. The police essentially refused to help me. I remember feeling that same sense of angry, not scared. Stay strong, stay powerful, and most of all, stay safe.
September 28th, 2010 @ 2:18 pm
I was assaulted by an ex boyfriend in high school. The resulting consequences from that assault were something I alone had to bear, and the lasting results were something I carried (and still carry) as I tried to move on into young adulthood. It colored my world. I had no one to level justice for me, as it was kept quiet, and my attacker joined the military and disappeared.
I say this because 20 years later (yes, unbelievable) he found me online thru a high school reunion website. He stalked me via email, and I again had to reface what he had done to me all over again.
What I did not know to do then (this was 10 yrs ago now) was to flush him out, and protect myself by yelling, screaming, or just plain telling everyone I knew, that also knew him, and know him still.
I am now facing this idiot once again via Facebook. That social network brought me up against this creep, and while I was on my toes, and knew what to do to protect myself online by blocking, dialing up the privacy filters to high, I also did this: I told EVERYONE I knew on Facebook, and in real life, the name, and the presence of this creep. I told everyone what he did (in so many words) and how I could not “friend” them on FB if they also friended him. And I did just that. I unfriended people I’d previously let onto my online life, if they didn’t get what I was tellng them, or chose to not protect me in this way.
I have not been contacted, but it’s a small world in this virtual place. I know that you have said this is what brought your situation about, and I hope you are not going to feel fear by continuing to be online in this way.
Instead of choosing to do the obvious things of keeping a gun, keeping dangerous animals close by, and closing down your life, I’d advocate to use your BRAIN, and think of every little thing you can possibly think of, to outsmart this a$$hole. It is perhaps a better weapon than one that could take your freedom away from YOU, if things went wrong.
September 28th, 2010 @ 2:23 pm
I’m so glad you plan to write about this. Thank you!! More than anything, awareness seriously needs to be raised about stalking. Too many people think it only happens in the movies, or that it’s not a big deal.
I’ve been stalked by two men. One harassed me for about four years after deciding he was in love with me because we both hung out in the same busy chat room (I hardly knew him). He went so far as to buy my address online and move 1200 miles to my town so he could “be hear me”, showing up at my door at all hours, calling twenty times a day, spamming my email, making death threats to my face, online, in my voicemail….
I’m amazed and happy that something was done about your stalker just over the course of one summer (even though releasing him so soon was stupid on the legal system’s part). After four years of trying to get the police to do anything about my stalker, all I ever got was, “Well, if this guy’s harassing you, you MUST have done something to provoke (read: deserve) it. And if this guy ends up hurt or dead, we’ll know you did it and arrest YOU.” Makes me shudder to think what those cops must say to rape victims. I deserve to be stalked, huh? What, was I wearing a short skirt online?
I only “got away” from this guy by moving away with no forwarding address and changing my name. I have no doubts that the next time he goes into a downward spiral, he’ll come looking for me again. All these stupid people-search sites make tracking someone too easy. I’ve done my best to cover my tracks, but now my “new” town that I moved to four years ago comes up on those sites when you search my name.
And, like you, I am furious. I am ready to defend myself and my home and family.
I’ve been planning on writing up my account to post too, doing my part to raise awareness. There’s just SO MUCH CRAZY from this guy, though, I don’t know where to start!
September 28th, 2010 @ 2:24 pm
I have been there. Guy went to jail for 6 months. I never got a gun, but did think about it. Do whatever you need to keep your family safe. I’m sending you a yard-full of positive vibes. It sucks you have to deal with this. Trust that your powerful, angry energy will start shifting things. He’ll be the one scared. Soon this will end. You’ll be all the stronger. Be well.
September 28th, 2010 @ 2:24 pm
i remember you making a comment earlier this summer that something was up. i had a suspicion it was something like that. in zen philosophy if you have something that is beautiful and compelling then there will exist also something ugly in equal and opposite severity. so unfortunately this post didn’t surprise me. we lock and load with you n MC n the kids. john wayne woulda kicked his ass. viva la Shreve and pass the ammo.
September 28th, 2010 @ 2:31 pm
Doh! “Be hear me” should obviously be “be near me”. I have the dumbs now! :D
And what is it with these scary stories coming out lately? I just read an account of someone whose stalker (who also moved to her town to be near her) showed up at her door with a gun a few days ago. Here’s that story:
http://community.livejournal.com/the_crazy_ex/195255.html
September 28th, 2010 @ 2:33 pm
Can’t they at least put a restraining order on him?
I’ve heard that a can of wasp spray to the eyes slows a person down.
Stay safe, Shreve!
September 28th, 2010 @ 2:37 pm
Sending ‘stay safe’ thoughts your way, that is seriously freaky.
(Oh, and IUDs rock, mine is my best friend ;)
September 28th, 2010 @ 2:46 pm
Stay safe out there and take care of yourself, by any means necessary. The law is usually only good after the fact. When it comes to prevention it sucks.
September 28th, 2010 @ 2:48 pm
There are sooo many crazy people out there. So sorry you have to go through this experience. I know you’ll remain safe and I’m sending safe prayers/thoughts your way.
September 28th, 2010 @ 2:50 pm
Well, you also have a posse/crew who would protect you down to Ricardo the goose. However, Charlie, Eli and your personal escorts will also let you know if this scum is nearby.
I know that you’re angry and you have a right to be. However, please take a few extra precautions just to be sure and safe. I sincerely hope that a conviction is enough grounds to get an some sort of legal protection.
September 28th, 2010 @ 2:55 pm
I salute your courage, and the other women here who have shared their stories and support.
Stay well. Trust those you trust; use your support. Do what you have to do.
September 28th, 2010 @ 3:01 pm
You are right. You are the only person you can count on to protect yourself. I work for criminal defense lawyers (and hate it). Every day I witness our justice system failing. It makes me sick, frustrated, and extremely angry.
Stay safe. Arm yourself. Be vigilant, and most importantly, do not stop living your life! You are in my prayers. (And if need be, I’m sure we can all gather together for an ass-whoopin’).
September 28th, 2010 @ 3:02 pm
Stay safe, stay aware. You are in my thoughts
September 28th, 2010 @ 3:09 pm
i’m a very big believer in common sense gun rights, which would have precluded this man from having a gun in the first place (doubtful he would have passed a psych evaluation).
now, having said that, i also believe in the right to RESPONSIBLE gun ownership. you are a smart, sensible woman who lives surrounded by wildlife (note: i do not include the farmily in that :).
i repeat the sentiments of a prior poster. lock and load. and if he breaks the restraining order (which i know you have, because you are a smart and sensible woman), you know where to point.
September 28th, 2010 @ 3:14 pm
I am still sitting here with the chills after reading your post and after reading all your online friends encourageing words. I would want as Barbara to know if there is somewhere or someone to write as the court action/judgement is simply wrong.
I don’t even know what to say as I am still so horrified that you have had to experince this.
Please know this, I am so proud to know you on line. I think the world of the person you are and the way you live your life and I look forward to visiting with you everyday. I have grown to luv your farmly and it all started when I picked up and bought the book Daily Coyote. I thank you sharing all this with us and just want you to know much it all has meant to me and others.
Your a fistey (sp) one and I know you will be perpared and aware. We care. God I wish there was something I could do.
September 28th, 2010 @ 3:19 pm
Oh, my god, Shreve. That’s awful. You’re definitely a stronger person than I am, the thought of my stalker still makes me want to throw up or have a panic attack. Your anger can get you somewhere, fear would just keep you rooted in place, or could even drive you to run away.
That being said, wtf is wrong with our legal system? Clearly dangerous people are just let off and forgotten about by the public, whilst people doing stupid, not-so-dangerous things are all the talk of the media. Everyone’s clamoring for them to be locked up. That’s just fucking screwed up.
September 28th, 2010 @ 3:20 pm
Stay safe, Shreve! All of our thoughts and prayers are with you!
September 28th, 2010 @ 3:23 pm
Be yourself and you won’t be alone.
Be angry and you won’t be afraid.
Be vigilant and you can’t be ambushed.
Be armed with a weapon you know how to use and you’ll never be a helpless victim.
Be aware that you are a strong, smart and powerful woman and you will prevail.
Be vociferous in describing to THE WORLD exactly what this creep looks like, does and where he is.
Be advised that you are loved, admired and worthy of all of the support coming your way. This WILL make you stronger still.
September 28th, 2010 @ 3:24 pm
Sadly, the laws are way behind the very REAL danger of stalking! The idea that the person doing the stalking actually has to harm you in some way before anything REAL will happen to them is just plain stupidity!
I understand the constitution and people’s rights, but it just seems that victims are the ones being harmed while those that do the harming are protected!
Stay safe Shreve! You are right, the only one that can protect you is YOU!
September 28th, 2010 @ 3:24 pm
Wow. I’m sorry you had to be put through this. All I can say, since there are no other words, is stay safe, and make sure you have something like a gun with you in case this freak comes back.
September 28th, 2010 @ 3:27 pm
I know what it is like to have a mentally unstable man obsessed with you. I went through this years ago with a neighbor. It’s horrible.
This too shall pass. Hopefully soon.
September 28th, 2010 @ 3:58 pm
oh shreve – i am so sorry! ditto everything everyone else has said, including having twice had experience with stalkers myself, one armed, & also wishing you the best as you deal with this. anger is good to get the blood flowing & helping to conceive (oo – sorry – poor word choice there!) of ways to keep yourself safe.
reading the above, the strongest thing that stood out was – make this guy’s presence & identity known. but i’d go as far as possible with it. put posters in all the public places in ten sleep & environs, keep news sources alert & up to date, email everyone you know locally with the guys pic & identity, etc. & ask that everyone call the cops whenever they see him. if the police keep getting calls they have to respond to that this guy has been seen, they will eventually get annoyed enough to run him out of town & keep him out.
i agree you should get a license for a concealed handgun, buy one, & carry it (if you don’t already). & i’m sure you have a restraining order in place, but be sure to keep it up if it runs for only a limited time.
i agree w/ maytee (comment 65) that it is incredible that in our modern, enlightened western civilization so many of us have had to deal with this danger. makes one very aware of the underlying, unspoken (in our culture) reality that men in general are more aggressive & stronger & the only reason women in western civilization have the rights we do is because men agreed to back off & let us. and we’re so much better off than women in so many other parts of the world. pretty sad.
take care. you know you are treasured.
September 28th, 2010 @ 4:22 pm
So sorry Shreve – it is awful and scary!! I would agree with previous post from Dusty Pine Arts and post this guy’s presence everywhere – all over the place. He didn’t respect your privacy, so there is no reason to respect his, and firearms can be a girl’s best friend. We have an alarm system too – had a stalker for years, and even though I haven’t seen him recently, I don’t ever feel completely safe. Hang in there – you are a treasure to all of us!!
September 28th, 2010 @ 4:31 pm
Echoing everyone else: I’m so sorry you had to go through this! I’m furious on your behalf, and sending plenty of good vibes your way. I have every confidence in your ability to protect yourself, and I’m very glad you’ll continue to share your experiences with us.
I also recommend “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin de Becker. Don’t let the title put you off; it’s mostly about using your intuition, and also contains some insights about what motivates stalkers and how to deal with them. You (and others on this thread) may find it to be a good resource.
September 28th, 2010 @ 4:41 pm
Oh, God! Be careful
September 28th, 2010 @ 4:48 pm
Many women have a hard time accepting they make choices and are accountable for those choices. It sounds as though you are choosing not to be a victim. Hooray! I pray you feel empowered to make whatever choices you need to protect yourself. Stubborn is not a synonym for intelligent.
September 28th, 2010 @ 4:50 pm
After the initial shock of just repeating “Oh my God!” my thoughts went straight to vengeance. I couldn’t believe it. I want to hurt this person BAD. I hope Ten Sleep knows who it is, knows what he looks like. I think I better just stop with that. Prayers for peace for you, Shreve.
September 28th, 2010 @ 4:57 pm
You do have to protect yourself. I’ve lived alone for years and no one is going to protect me but me. Hopefully the guy isn’t totally mental and got the point. If he’s totally mental and still hungup on you, be very, very careful. I’ve only been afraid of a man once. I believe if he wouldn’t have been chased out of the country, he or I would be dead. PS – Didn’t even cross my mind you might be preg or that anything was up. I’ll send a penny when I can afford a stamp.
September 28th, 2010 @ 5:04 pm
Holy crap Shreve. Been there and still have the t-shirt (and scars to my personal sense of security – which is a myth anyway). I don’t feel I have to tell you to take care – you haz street (dirt?) smarts in spades. I am so sorry you had to join the sorority.
September 28th, 2010 @ 5:07 pm
Oh my goodness. That is horrible. I had a similar problem happen to me. I started keeping pepper spray with me and was unable to stay at my own apartment. It really angers you when someone takes it to that level. I always kept my larger male friends and family aware of the situation. People are not always right. It is sad. I hope you stay safe.:0)
September 28th, 2010 @ 5:18 pm
I love Lisbeth, and I’m sad she will not be returning. I’m almost finished with the third book.
YES…channel her. Let her be your patron saint.
Hugs from Los Angeles.
September 28th, 2010 @ 5:38 pm
Stay strong, and STAY SAFE!
September 28th, 2010 @ 5:50 pm
I have lived in isolated places where one was careful.Keep your shades pulled at night.Do not sit in front of backlit windows.Always have outside dogs that bark & are not friendly.ALWAYS let someone know where & when you can be expected.Do have a good strong walking stick that you keep handy.We kept a rifle in the window rack & a spot light on the pickup.Always take your dog with you when alone.If someone is crazy, on your property & scaring you,do what you have to to be safe.Always be aware of what is going on around you, to be otherwise is to be vulnerable.We had very little backup because of how far people were away from us,but no one ever surprised us.You can surprise “them”
by being unafraid to defend yourself.
September 28th, 2010 @ 6:12 pm
Good luck and be safe.
My partner has been stalked for two years by a woman he’s never met. It is very very scary, and we are not helped by the police at all (we don’t live in the US). We are basically sitting ducks waiting for the violence to happen.
It is a horrible experience, and I wish you the best of luck.
September 28th, 2010 @ 6:19 pm
I can’t imagine your anger, but I understand your affinity for Lisbeth, she is an incredibly strong character. From what I have gleaned following your blog, you already have that strength, and I hope you find comfort in it. (and Sir Baby, of course!)
September 28th, 2010 @ 6:31 pm
Shreve,
Thank you for posting about this.
This is just plain unfortunate and I am sorry that this experience has had to become a part of your life. I’d like to rewind time back to June, cut that piece out, and splice together the good ends.
Stay safe and strong.
September 28th, 2010 @ 6:34 pm
Oh, Shreve, my heart breaks for you. You are a dear sweet lovely woman, but now it’s time to change. Be Lizbeth, put every survellence thing you can get on your property. If you can find something that will electrocute him if tries to come near you fine by me. Out smart him. He’s an idiot. But don’t underestimate him.
Get a gun and learn how to shoot it. I’m pretty sure you don’t live in an area, where they’d say,”oh pity poor him, he came from a broken home and look what that horrible woman did to him.”
Shreve, you are amazing and he is dirt. If it means packing up and living with Mike for awhile do it. If it means selling out and finding somewhere else to live, do it. If it means becoming a sharp shooter, do it. The lady loves you, if you leave, we will miss you. But you are too important, save yourself and your animals, we will be waiting for you when you come back.
September 28th, 2010 @ 6:35 pm
So sorry to hear that this is what you have had to face. Thank you for continuing to share with us your farmily and stay safe (which I have a feeling you will due to your mindset).
September 28th, 2010 @ 6:41 pm
wow…and he I thought you were writing book..boy was I way off…..How horrible, what an invasion of your privacy and life..people that become obssessed like that have deep mental issues…Hope you and Mike have a round the clock security plan for you and Charlie..yes you are responsible for your safty noone else! Take Care of yourself.Marlene from Cambria
September 28th, 2010 @ 6:41 pm
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. And I’m amazed that throughout all this, you managed to make me smile every day with photos of Charlie and the rest of the farmily, and with this charming blog. Thank you, Shreve. Stay safe.
September 28th, 2010 @ 6:46 pm
Any woman today has to be aware of their surroundings at all times and can never be impaired to the point that they can not react.
Among the more important things my Dad taught me early: how to protect myself (with my fists and with a gun)
Who needs Diamonds—My current best friend is my S & W 357 Highway Patrolman, which may not be the most powerful handgun in the world, but it is a thing of beauty that will take care of business.
You can’t think crazy enough to outthink these people, protect yourself. I wouldn’t want you to compromise your sites by posting his pic so the whole of us can join the watch, but if there is a way to find it, I will look…
You are Blessed and the strength and healing energy I focus on at every yoga class is coming your way.
September 28th, 2010 @ 7:04 pm
Like Jerry above, (near the top) I am a retired police officer too. I am sure you have a weapon, practice with it, but only if you are sure you can pull the trigger and kill someone. Get the mind set, he, she or it will have a very bad day and you will be home safely. I remember there is a special sound of a round being jacked into a shotgun…
Prayers for your safety.
September 28th, 2010 @ 7:14 pm
Shreve, you are doing the right thing to talk about it, build support and strength through yourself and your loved ones. I was stalked for two years, and what I am the most pissed about is how stalking made me feel paranoid, unsafe, and unable to trust. When I let my loved ones in and let my truth come out it helped me build my strength. My heart goes out to you. Stay strong, be brave and don’t let that fucker ruin your mental health as well as threaten your physical.
September 28th, 2010 @ 7:15 pm
Oh my! What a horrible, scary position to be in. I am not a gun person, but there just seems to be those times…
Stay aware and safe.
September 28th, 2010 @ 7:38 pm
BUY A GUN!!! Not an old west 6-shooter, but a decent semi-auto pistol. Practice with it, carry it and if necessary, use it. Stalkers are dangerous and they seldom improve. He needs to be locked away, but that is something the “system” won’t accomplish until something really bad happens. Be alert and be safe.
September 28th, 2010 @ 7:39 pm
I am horrified and outraged and sad that you have been subjected to a nutcase. He should be locked up in a psych ward.
I’m surprised he’s out as I thought the US took these kinds of crimes very seriously, but I suppose it varies state to state. If he travelled to Wyoming, perhaps alerting the FBI is a good idea. He’s probably got a history of crazy.
I hope at the very least this man is wearing an ankle bracelet and commanded to leave the state of Wyoming NOW.
Target practice, Shreve, lots of target practice and keep Mike, Sir Baby and Charlie close.
In the end I hope the Goose gets him. Geese have wicked skills.
September 28th, 2010 @ 7:41 pm
Shreve, sorry to post twice, but Ten Sleep – the entire community – can band together to protect you and keep him out. I saw a documentary on a woman in Canada who moved to a small town and the whole town became involved in protecting her from a stalker. In the end, the stalker was afraid to even visit that town as no one would serve him and everyone kept tabs on where he was and what he did.
September 28th, 2010 @ 7:43 pm
Thank you for sharing so much with us. I hope everyone who reads you will comment on this post so you can see all of us wishing you well and taking this lesson to heart.
This bravery of yours is making more people aware of the way women can be wronged by the justice system because stalkers are often not seen by the courts to be as dangerous as they potentially are. I live in a dangerous city and see news stories over and over of women left to the mercy of abusers. It is a long ugly continuum that starts with inequality and disrespect for women and ends in tragedy for many of them. We must speak out and stand up for all women.
Every “romantic” comedy or foolish Hollywood story that perpetuates the myth that stalking behavior is acceptable should be protested by all of us.
I hope my expression of this view is not offensive to anyone but I speak out because I have lived a long life as a woman in times even more unequal than these and it is no less dangerous for women today than it ever was, perhaps it is even more dangerous for many. We must stand up for ourselves and for one another.
September 28th, 2010 @ 8:10 pm
I am so sorry to hear this! I was stalked for six months about 10 years ago and the restraining order was never enforced. But this experience also taught me to believe in karma. When it hits, it’s swift and sure. So, I wish you good karma and your stalker all the bad karma I can.
Stay safe.
September 28th, 2010 @ 8:13 pm
The Gift of Fear & Intuition
Shreve,
I can only imagine what it has been like for you – and still is.
All I can say is “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin Debecker where he talks about listening to our intuition rather than living in a state of constant fear and anxiety.
I like that through your anger, you’re not giving in to his terrorism. I
hope that anger can be fuel leaving mental clarity as it burns away.
Debecker is an expert on preventing violence and stalking, and I’ve used his methods to help stay safe without living in a state of unease all the time.
Listening to my intuition and his suggestions saved me in a near miss situation with I guy who was prone to possessiveness.
Also, I was fortunate. It can help to do everything we’re able to for our own sanity.
We do need to live as smart as we can and protect ourselves if necessary.
As others have written, we never know what provokes someone who has more than one screw loose. That’s not in our hands. As women, I think it’s important that we keep reminding ourselves of that.
Unfortunately it’s a part of life for most women and becomes necessary to bring it to light.
May you find whatever brings peace of mind in the midst of this.
Like thriving wild animals who regularly meet danger in their lives and yet are able to move on after each encounter. Movement afterward helps release the stress chemicals and keeps them sane.
Follow your intuition and clarity, dear Shreve.
You’ve given us a lot, so go ahead and do what you’re most needing to now.
May your courage and savvy bolster you in the trying times.
September 28th, 2010 @ 8:26 pm
I am so sorry for this horrible incident! And I do hope it will be just a blip on the screen of your life. I can only imagine the energy this kind of thing can take up in all areas of your life. I pray you and the farmily will stay safe!
September 28th, 2010 @ 8:31 pm
I don’t have anything wonderful to say…just that I wish you all the best. What an incredibly scary time for you. I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with this.
September 28th, 2010 @ 8:42 pm
I have one thing to say, and it is probably redundant at this point, but arm yourself. The only one who can protect yourself is you. Bright Blessings to You…….
September 28th, 2010 @ 8:54 pm
The older I get, the more I realize what kind of sick people there are in this world… I’m not saying ignorance is bliss, but this knowledge does not make me happy.
Is there anything you can do to make yourself safer? Can you make his identity more well-known, at least to the people closest around you, so that if he is spotted you will notified as soon as possible? As others have mentioned, have you gotten a restraining order against him?
I can’t believe the mistakes the “system” makes all the time. Just today my friend was telling me about two girls who died from apparent overdose after being in the company of one man. Then, she explained that they were TWO different incidents, within months of each other. How in the world was that man able to kill another woman? War on drugs my ass!
Please stay safe and know that for every one sicko, you have 1,000 well-wishing fans who think you are terrific!
September 28th, 2010 @ 9:02 pm
Be safe.
Be alive.
We’ll continue to be thankful that we’ve been privileged to share part of your life through your blogs.
Be alive.
Be safe.
September 28th, 2010 @ 9:14 pm
I’m sorry that one person has to ruin what your life is. I so enjoy reading about and vicariously living your life. Selfishly I do hope the few crazies out there won’t stop you from that, though I would completely understand if they do. That would be so very unfair…to you especially. Sending good thoughts your way always!
the best to you, annbb
September 28th, 2010 @ 9:26 pm
I’m with the folks who encourage you to arm yourself, practice continually, and think through carefully whether or not you are willing to do another human being harm when they are trying to harm you. Hesitation in the moment of truth will not serve you well.
If there are any law enforcement or military in the area who can give you training on shooting in the dark, shooting inside a building, and shooting moving targets – hire ’em. These are skills that require special insights and practice.
Recruit your community to help you keep an eye out for this SOB.
Set up better security around the perimeter of your property and especially around your house.
ALWAYS carry a cell phone, with your local police on speed dial. Talk with them about what sort of activities will land this guy back in jail, and don’t hesitate to put him there.
I’m sure you’ve thought of all this and more, and that some part of your gracious and sensitive heart regrets having to put on this shell. But I also know you’re tough and focused and capable, and can wear an Annie Oakley persona with valor and pride.
September 28th, 2010 @ 9:53 pm
I just finished the third book in that trilogy yesterday, so it was heavy on my mind when I started reading this post. Just when I was about to send you a note saying “You must read this!”, I scroll down the page and see that you already have. Good for you!
September 28th, 2010 @ 10:05 pm
It is so sad that there are crazy people that have to effect us. Were the times of our parents better before the Internet? But then I would not be able to look at the wonderful pictures and stories you write. I would think a nice gun would be a good thing in Wyoming!
Kerri
September 28th, 2010 @ 10:26 pm
Oh, Shreve! I’m one of your oldest (well, not literally, I hope!) followers, and I just had a gut feeling that something wasn’t quite right with you these past few months. I’m originally a Montana gal myself, and if folks up there are still what they used to be, the community will rally around you and protect you and yours. Be safe, be tough, and don’t let the bastards get you down (or,as they say in Latin, “nil illegitimi carborundrum”).
(((((hugs)))))
P.S. Have you ever heard of a place in Oregon called Thunder Ranch? e-mail me, or look it up, if you like; great place to learn about self-defense, guns, etc. from very serious people.
September 28th, 2010 @ 10:43 pm
It’s time to take up ju jitsu! Make sure you report everything and never ever respond to this creep! Always listen to your gut, and don’t take anything he says or does lightly. Very freaky.
September 28th, 2010 @ 10:43 pm
Shreve, my two cats (Millie and Norman) and I are sending you our most positive, protective/mama bear energy!
September 28th, 2010 @ 10:52 pm
wow, I was not expecting to read this at all. It bums me out in so many ways for you. I’m glad that you’re making it well known what is going on and calling this creep out. You have a ton of (sane) fans and I really hope this guy backs off. I also hope that your town rallies around you and drives this guy away.
There are so many things that need to be done with our justice system. I truly feel like this is a failure of the system. Stay safe (and thank you for continuing to share with us)
September 28th, 2010 @ 10:59 pm
Oh Shreve, I am angry, too! Reading your post just made my blood boil. The “system” has once again let women down, and that a–hole is lose and God-knows-where or what he’s going to do next. There are a whole lot of people who’ve got your back. Make sure every single neighbor, friend and caring person in the entire Ten Sleep area is on the lookout for the stalker. Together you can drive him out of town for good, since the “system” didn’t do the job, the people will have to take care of business. Stay strong and keep that positive attitude of yours fine tuned!
September 28th, 2010 @ 11:04 pm
I’ll pray… and lock ‘n load. I like Torchy’s (#19) idea of visible target practice.
Tasers, stun guns, pepper spray and “grizzly sirens” are small, versatile and very effective, and you can keep them all over the place. (1 of my brothers is a body guard, 1 brother lives in Alaskan grizzly country, and 1 brother crosses the Mex. border several times a year). http://www.beststungun.com/
You fended off a momentarily deranged coyote in the middle of the night with mere antlers and you lie on the back of a gigantic bull with no fear whatsoever. …And never forget you brought Charlie back from the brink of death under impossible odds.
You’re brilliant, this guy’s not – not if he’s going to stalk someone in your neck of the woods. What an idiot. Cowboy country, rifles in every pickup, Wyoming winters, a devoted coyote, the list is endless. Rally some “local cowboy-hat-spur-wearing-cattle-drivin’-branding-iron-wielding stalkers” to stalk the stalker …and when this freak is gone, go buy those boots you love!
I’ll end this the way I started… I’ll pray.
September 28th, 2010 @ 11:13 pm
Yikes. I hate this kind of crap. Do what you need to do to stay safe, hear? My closest friend was stalked by some guy once; she had me go with her whenever she had to go do things in public places (shopping mostly), because I’m the fierce friend with a second-degree black belt and varsity fencing skills. I ended up hexing him and he dropped off the radar two days later. Not even joking.
Seriousness aside, though, this would make an interesting base for a novel/series. Super-heroine and her coyote in a small, otherwise unknown town? ;)
September 29th, 2010 @ 12:37 am
That’s scary… im glad you guys are ok but not happy with the man released.
Keep safe!!
September 29th, 2010 @ 1:07 am
Hard to believe that this could happen to you. I’m glad you’re safe, and hope it stays that way. You do have Charlie and Chloe nearby. And I think a penny for a personal question is not out of hand. I never assume someone is pregnant. I’m just one of those people that believe people will tell me if they want me to know, so I don’t pry. It’s none of my business, after all. (This really blows my mind, your being stalked ~ I can’t believe it ~ you’re in my prayers.)
September 29th, 2010 @ 3:51 am
Shreve, I live in LA and don’t know you or your farmily personally but it really makes me sad that you have to deal with this crap. You opened your life to us so that we can enjoy Charlie & Co. Many of us live vicariously through you and wish we had the gutts to do what you do. Unfortunately that left you vulnerable to the crazies out there. I hope things will go back to normal for you and I will pray for you, MC, Charlie, Eli, Chloe, Daisy, and all other animals that share your life. Please be safe.
September 29th, 2010 @ 3:57 am
Well, I hate to even say this but (and you probably know this), he will be back. Stalkers are inherently irrational and not playing with a full deck, they have a much skewed view of what is reality and what is fantasy. Look at any stalker of any famous person and they all have a common thread; the stalker served a bit of time, got out and re offended time and time again until restraining orders were put in place and even then, they continue to stalk their victim. This can go on for long time.
In his deranged mind you are probably best friends or destined to be married and he believes this wholeheartedly. He will soon forget of his stint in prison and come up with new ways to stalk you, which you seem to have already figured out since you realize you have to be able to protect yourself and your farmily and I am sure MC will also play a part in keeping things safe, however I, like other readers, believe that you really need to step up security on your property. I know you live in the country and have lots of land but your safety and the safety of your farmily is at stake so I would go balls out on this one and get the works; electric fence, security gate, security system for your home, automated flood lights, pepper spray, a gun of your own if you don’t already have one. In addition I would get every bit of information about this person; address, mental history, family, is he married? Has he offended before or does he have a history of violence, is he still able to carry a weapon and so forth, and finally I would hire the best attorney possible and stay on top of this guy in a legal way, push back and make his life as uncomfortable and difficult as possible, you have to take back control.
I have been in your shoes, to say it is disruptive to ones life and peace of mind is an understatement; it affects your mental and emotional well being as well as your health, your ability to sleep soundly, to relax and enjoy life, basically your ability to live and breath normally are completely altered so please, don’t just accept the courts ruling, appeal, get lawyered up.
TAKE BACK CONTROL!!!!
PS. I recall a FB post about six months back in which you discussed your disdain for strangers who feel they can just show up at your home. is this the stranger your were referring too? I remember one of the comments on the thread was from a strange man who felt you were out of line to expect privacy because you had a blog he felt that the public had a sense that you were familiar and a friend and he also seemed to feel that this odd behavior of just showing up was neither odd nor out of line but instead he felt it was acceptable and to be expected. It would seem there are a lot of these types of crazies out there,
September 29th, 2010 @ 5:27 am
Shreve keep trusting yourself and your Infinite Self…Bob
September 29th, 2010 @ 5:30 am
Shreve, I’m sorry that you sharing your life on the internet has brought this to you. I love the websites and it always brings me to a positive place after a hectic and stressful work day. I really recomend getting ahold of The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker. The book is good actually a page turner. He has done a lot of work with celebrities who have been stalked and has some good advise. I don’t know if he has updated the book to deal with the internet but judging from what he writes even writing about him and our comments may be fuel for the stalker. Be safe!
September 29th, 2010 @ 6:07 am
Shreve…so sorry to hear this. There is way too much of everywhere these day. A 78 yr old woman who live in a town of 750 people in NO VT was abducted several weeks ago. Loved by everyone. At one time we said “we don’t expect this in such a quiet rural area”. The opposite is true. Regardless of age or location we are all vulnerable.
I will send you and email because I feel whatever is shared here is accessible to him.
Stay alert. Stay safe. I am not optimistic he is just going away, and there are many more just like him.
September 29th, 2010 @ 6:17 am
OMG Shreve, I felt panicky when I read your post this morning. I must tell you that I agree 150% with gabip just above me. There is absolutely nothing that any of us can do, so you must take matters(legally)into your own hands. You have to protect you and yours.
(and the law wonders why people buy guns for protection). I am also relieved that you are not alone out there, that MC is watching your back as well.
I can only imagine how frightening this is for you, as I too do not believe he is finished.
Take care Shreve, not just for you, but for your farmily as well.
September 29th, 2010 @ 6:27 am
I know I already commented, but from reading all of the above, you have a real posse out here. I just love the way everyone has rallied to build a protective fence around you.(of the spiritual kind). Once again, take control, and care.
September 29th, 2010 @ 7:03 am
many in our country do not realize until they are in a ‘situation’ that our judicial system only hands out judgements, but is often not responsible for enforcing them…absolutely no comparison here, but I once won a lawsuit and recieved a piece of paper stating someone owed me much $ in damages….I could have made a paper airplane out of it…many lawyer bills on my end later, and not a penny from the person who owed it to me, there are levels on which I wish I had taken certain aspects into my own hands….
we DO neet to protect and take care of ourselves…we have a false sense of what the system has to offer..
yes, love and light and stay safe, Shreve
September 29th, 2010 @ 7:17 am
Shreve, I agree with Brenda, Jerry J., and TorchyJenny C., all of them who say to be very active and visible in what you will do to anyone who tries to harm you or the animals. Lock & Load! And make it well known with everyone that you WILL protect yourself and the animals. This is not a game anymore…never was. This is your life.
September 29th, 2010 @ 7:21 am
Now, those posts “DONT come to my home” make more sense. Seems you live in a comunity that has become family, hopefully they will also be your “guardian”. I have always wondered about people wanting to see you/Charlie; how can you tell those, and a stalker. Guess the 44 is your answer.
Do WHAT YOU NEED TO DO to protect your beautiful self and your precious farmily.
THANK YOU so much Shreve for continuing to allow us into your life, knowing there are those who may seek to do you harm. Your “online family” will keep vigil for you.
Be safe….
September 29th, 2010 @ 7:22 am
A psychiatrist friend of mine who was stalked (and whose house was fired upon) by a deranged patient was told by the police that the best weapon to use as defense is a shotgun. The sound of loading is often enough to discourage a potenial assailant. Hopefully, your situation will never escalate to this point. May all the animal spirits you mingle with shield you from any real danger.
September 29th, 2010 @ 7:24 am
I am thinking of you; what a terrible scenario to face. You have so many people who don’t know you who love you, keep that in mind when the stalker threatens to take over your thoughts and spirit.
September 29th, 2010 @ 7:24 am
There is much to admire in the character of Lisbeth Salender. My own sister once put a .45 bullet through her own cabin door to discourage an unwelcome human visitor. He did not return. Getting angry is much better than cowering down and hoping the legal system protects you.
September 29th, 2010 @ 7:33 am
We’re all with you and understand. You’re definitely not alone.
Being armed and familiar w/your weapon is a good start. Getting a CCW permit ($74 to obtain & $50/yr to renew in WY) is a good idea. Stalking is often a precursor to an attack, as I’m sure you’re aware. Stalkers are generally not deterred by court action/jail time, so he remains a threat & there could be more like him.
Take it seriously and adjust for it, but don’t let it rule your life. Be vigilant & stay aware always, but never fear. You can protect yourself as needed and you know that. Stay angry about it, but don’t let that consume you either.
I’m too far to help, but you have an online community behind you who will help in any way they can.
September 29th, 2010 @ 7:58 am
i truly appreciate that you will continue to write about the experience. thank you for sharing something so personal.
September 29th, 2010 @ 8:41 am
Good God, Shreve! I’m appalled for you. I think, in addition to all suggestions above, that you should set up a check-in system with your neighbors–if one doesn’t hear from you at a certain hour, s/he should get on the horse & gallop on over with rifles across the saddles and hunting dogs in tow! Or get in the pick-up truck, whichever is easiest and closest at hand. And set it up so that different people call at different times of day and night, or you call them. My mother’s neighborhood is full of older people and they all check in with each other every day.
Also, Shreve, please check in here; we haven’t heard from you for 21 hours, and I’m not just a little anxious. Let us know what is happening, so that all of us women who understand your situation can come to your rescue; think of “The Ride of the Valkyries” by Richard Wagner!!
September 29th, 2010 @ 8:49 am
good goddess what a mess. I’m both appalled and not surprised by this though. You are a beautiful blonde with a serious bent for words that both touch and inspire us, your story is unique and your photos are stories on their own.
This should never happen, not to you or to anyone else. You have every right to be angry. It seems like the rest of us who read and love you feel the same.
Blessings, sister
September 29th, 2010 @ 8:59 am
I start everyday visiting The Daily Coyote and then this site. I hate to say it again but OMG!
Be safe, pepper spray!
September 29th, 2010 @ 9:01 am
Hang tough Shreve, working in the justice system, I’m glad you know a piece of paper isn’t going to save your butt, only you are. Love, love, love Lisbeth Salander, a good muse in cases like this. I’d say more, but no one, especially him, needs to know what your lines of defense are, keep that one under your hat.
September 29th, 2010 @ 9:14 am
Oh, Shreve, this breaks my heart. I’ve worried in the past that someone might take this to some sort of “Criminal Minds” level and come up there intent on meeting you. I’m so happy that you’re ok but I can imagine just how freaking angry you must be, and with good cause. Do what you have to do. No matter what. The world needs Shreve and her Farmily.
September 29th, 2010 @ 9:44 am
Don’t know gun laws in your state but assume you’ve looked into a carry or concealed permit and have taken a weapon training course and bought a gun. Also assume you have a restraining order against him. Although that won’t stop a stalker from anything. About the only good one is for is if the stalker breaks the order and can be re-arrested and hopefully receive a longer sentence. Takes away your sense of freedom, naivity, and trust doesn’t it?! I wish you the best of luck staying calm and having some good target practice.
September 29th, 2010 @ 9:45 am
Ugh. How, scary.
Luckily you have animals at your place. Animals, in general, are really good at letting you know if something or somebody who usually isn’t in your space has invaded it.
And invest in a good shotgun if you haven’t already.
September 29th, 2010 @ 10:03 am
Shreve, I’m placing the Light (Christ, Holy Spirit, Goddess) around you for the highest good. With love. Without fear, worry, or concern.
You might consider doing the same for the stalker guy as an option.
I used to live next door to some fairly unsavory men who did not make great neighbors. I sent them the Light every time I was aware of them. At the very least, that helped me release my hostility towards them.
And guess what? After about a year of this Light treatment, they moved out.
Just a thought.
God Bless You
In Loving and Light
September 29th, 2010 @ 10:13 am
Shreve;
So sorry to read this post and it brings “it” all back to me vividly. I also was stalked by someone 17 years ago, endured months of terror, and finally just got pissed at what this idiot was doing to my life. Long story, he spent a couple months in county jail, was convicted and given 3 years felony probation. Somehow the threat of state prison if he screwed up must of gotten through to him and he left the small town area where I live. I have not seen or heard of him since but still sometimes something makes me look over my shoulder and see if he is there. I carried a handgun in my purse for years and I absolutely would have used it on him. You are strong, smart, and very aware of your surroundings. You will be fine. Karen
September 29th, 2010 @ 10:13 am
A 20 ga. youth model remington pump shot gun is about the best home protection you can get.—nothing like the sound of racking a pump shot gun—-get a C.H-L.license and pack heat also.—get something not too heavy to carry
September 29th, 2010 @ 10:16 am
Wow – what an experience. I’m so glad you’re sharing it for others’ knowledge! This is such a big issue and the victim seems to be the one burdened.
What I also find disturbing is how many of your readers have gone through something similar.
Hope you no trespassing signs up and are well versed i’n you’d local laws…,what a hassle for you.
Sending you positive thoughts!
September 29th, 2010 @ 10:29 am
Sorry me again. But I just read this, and it seemed so appropriate share.
“You never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have left”
September 29th, 2010 @ 10:38 am
ooo, this makes me so mad! i just don’t understand how some people can be so selfish! i hope all your neighbours and the folks in 10 sleep got a good look at him — one way to neutralize an enemy is to have a lot of friends.
be well, stay safe, and keep on being who you are.
September 29th, 2010 @ 10:38 am
Wow. I am so sorry. The bastard! What gives him the right to do that to you or anyone? Sending you all the best.
Ida
September 29th, 2010 @ 10:39 am
My goodness, Shreve–what a horrific ordeal. I’d be profoundly angry, too, were I in your unenviable situation.
I have nothing more to offer in addition to what everyone else has posted–just know that you’ll be in my thoughts, I wish you the absolute best, and stay safe in whatever way avails you. Thank you for sharing this–it may help some other young woman out there deal with a similar situation.
September 29th, 2010 @ 10:43 am
I am sure you have thought of everything you could do, you are a smart woman. We all stand by you, just ask. Do you need a private investigator, do you need anything ? Anything you want us to help with ?
September 29th, 2010 @ 10:59 am
I am so sorry this happened to you. I was brutally assaulted in my home nine years ago at gunpoint. After three hours my attacker tied me up from head to toe (with a noose around my neck)and left in my car, saying he would return in awhile. I don’t know how I was able to do this, but somehow I managed to untie the ropes and cords and ran 1/2 mile to a neighbor’s house to call for help. I truly believe that had I not remained completely calm the entire time I was being attacked, I would be dead. My story ended well enough – after one escape from jail and two years in the court system, he was sentenced to life without parole. It was an exhausting process, both mentally and physically, but I attended every hearing and proceeding. It is important for victims to have a face. I do not usually post personal information or stories, but your strength and determination to be self-reliant really struck a chord with me. Stay strong!
September 29th, 2010 @ 11:08 am
Shreve, as I read your post I had two thoughts that I see echoed in other posts here.
1. Lock and load – better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6.
2. I will add you to the many people whom I surround with “the light”. And, as difficult as it seems, it also makes sense to send the light to your stalker. He needs help that he may not take from a person, but he can’t divert it if it comes from a higher power.
I have always felt you and I are kindred spirits. I send my love and light to you. Blessed be.
September 29th, 2010 @ 11:13 am
How is it that our judical system hasn’t been modified to deal with these mentally ill individuals? All the evidence is there that they intent to harm, yet the most that can be done to prevent it is to slap them with a restraining order? Not right!
Say the word, Shreve and I’m there. My aim isn’t that good, but I’m more than willing to practice to get better.
September 29th, 2010 @ 11:14 am
My thinking is a little farther down the road.
Use your publicity to make this the judge’s LAST term if the position was elected, not appointed.
How much more is going to happen across the country before stalking is taken seriously with commensurate punishment?
September 29th, 2010 @ 11:15 am
Shreve – From a quick perusal of WY gun laws, it appears open carry (rifle or handgun) even loaded is unrestricted, which I assume applies to vehicles as well. You’ll need a CCW, for concealed carry. WY seems very gun friendly, so even CCW is likely formality.
September 29th, 2010 @ 11:47 am
Dear Shreve, I send you and your family Love and Light and I ask the Universe to hold you in Safety. Blessings.
September 29th, 2010 @ 12:00 pm
I’m so sorry, sad and mad to hear this happened to you, or any woman. Thank you for sharing this. I admit that while I love reading about you and the farmily, I have worried about how “public” you become online and how some disturbed people confuse that with reality.
We all hold you and the farmily in our thoughts.
September 29th, 2010 @ 12:08 pm
I thought of Lisbeth when I was reading this prior to you pointing her out – guess that means the saddle bags will now be packed with a tazer gun, duct tape, hammer and mace ;-)
September 29th, 2010 @ 12:49 pm
Lots of good advice above. We’re all sad & mad that this happened.
I know there are some states that have strong stalker laws. Check them out and try to get one passed in WY.
Also I’m curious as to what the strongest punishment in WY is? The judges hands may have been tied(I doubt it) but it would be good to know what the possibilities are there.
You’ve got a lot of folks pulling for you and sending prayers and good vibes your way.
I just saw the first Lisbeth movie recently! She is something all right!
September 29th, 2010 @ 12:53 pm
*sigh* J and I have often discussed your “safety”, my “safety”, the safety of all women. There are people who know me out in RL that think I’m a bit “crazy”. I have been…let’s just say, “hurt” by a stranger in the past. IF…you show up, the 2 miles down MY private road and I DON’T KNOW YOU, IF you are UNINVITED…I WILL meet you…with a 130 pound protective dog and a rifle in my hands pointed at you, until you explain to me who you are, what you’re doing here and what you want. I also carry a handgun in my car. I made peace with the fact long ago that if it is my life, the life of one of my kids or some strangers that has threatened us…I WILL…kill. I’m GOOD with that.
I understand your anger. I fear for you and YET…I KNOW…you will also always do…what you HAVE to do. As will I.
Love from my heart…Rox
September 29th, 2010 @ 1:42 pm
What is WRONG with people???????? Stay safe!
September 29th, 2010 @ 1:46 pm
Stay safe. I love reading about the farmily, and the beautiful pictures of your life with your animals. I am horrified that someone would do this to you. I’m sorry that this happened.
September 29th, 2010 @ 2:19 pm
Dear Shreve,
I can remember when you lived with someone who questioned your authority and threatened you with bodily harm. I remember you spoke of how frightened you were. But you did not send Charlie away. You faced him head on and won. I was, and remain, so impressed with your courage.
Your current situation requires a different kind of courage, one born of anger instead of love, but I have no doubt you will come through this victorious. Stay strong and believe in yourself.
Your internet family is surrounding you the best we can with circles of safety and love.
tm
September 29th, 2010 @ 2:19 pm
You have every right to feel frustrated and angry. Heck, I feel frustrated and angry about this and I don’t even know you. But I also believe that anger comes out of fear, and living with anger is just another way of letting fear control you. So let yourself be angry for awhile, but don’t let it take over your life – the best revenge is living well, and from what I’ve seen you’re already an expert at that. Angry thoughts can make us forget ourselves, and that would be the ultimate surrender. Take good care of yourself, stay strong and move on.
September 29th, 2010 @ 2:20 pm
Shreve, you are the country-style Lisbeth. You are one strong one, and I’m hoping the very, very best for you; I always invision your homestead as such a peaceful place- hope it remains peaceful for as long as you remain there.
September 29th, 2010 @ 2:26 pm
Last night I was wondering what you ARE doing to defend yourself, and realized that is the absolute last thing to put online. Also I think that since MC is in fact a lawman, you are fairly well connected with all the locals who have been suggesting what to do.
We have a little cabin up in the Sierra, and once the local deputy and I were talking about what I would do if somebody threatening showed up.
And as for the dogs protecting you, I figure Chloe might, but C harlie would hide.
So you have now become the hunter, not the prey.. So much better to have yourself in a position of action: take up arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing, end them. Can’t wait to hear. Corragio!
September 29th, 2010 @ 2:49 pm
It’s hard to find words, I feel deeply disturbed by this post and it’s taken this to make me realise how profound your impact is on my life. Through your updates I’ve grown to feel like I know you and I wish every good fortune upon you.
Please keep us all updated.
I’m sending a lot of positive energy your way.
September 29th, 2010 @ 2:49 pm
I too feel angry on your behalf, Shreve. Stay safe and I’m sending positive vibes to you.
September 29th, 2010 @ 2:55 pm
My thoughts are with you, Shreve. You do not deserve this type of hostility, nor the judicial system’s treatment of it.
Everyone else gave plenty of advice on how to stay safe, advice I am ill-suited to give. Please know that I am thankful to you for sharing your life with us, and hope that doing so has not jeopardized your wellbeing.
Stay safe, stay strong.
September 29th, 2010 @ 3:03 pm
Shreve,
Yes – protect yourself at all costs!
So strange… I’ve never met you but I am worried about you as though you are a dear friend…
By the way – I say that in a totally non-crazy-or-stalker, sort of way. :)
…Several years ago, something horribly violent and tragic happened that took the lives of my father and brother. Instead of shutting down, I did the exact oposite – I responded by doing everything I could to empower myself. I took very intense self-defense coarses designed to scare the crap out of me so that I could learn how to respond in real time to potentially very bad people. I took breathing classes, yoga classes, went to therapy, I jumped out of a plane, and basically forced myself to go out every day when all I wanted to do was stay in. I did everything I could to push against my fear as opposed to collapse into it and let it run over me. In other words, psycho mother fucking people are not allowed to take our life force from us without a fight!
Anyway… I feel for you. And am worried about you…
Stay strong. I and the people who follow your blog are all standing sentinel by your side…
September 29th, 2010 @ 3:24 pm
Shreve, I can’t imagine how distraught you must have been during the summer with this stalker not giving you a moment’s peace. I do hope he disappears forever from your life. Please be safe.
September 29th, 2010 @ 3:36 pm
I (unfortunately like many here before me) know and remember this whole fear/depression/anger roller coaster. I ended up with a solution I’m not so happy with, but it does ease my mind. 12 gauge shot gun, plus lessons were gifts from some of my (male) friends; but the one thing that stood out was a comment from one of them.
Keep it in the bedroom–when you hear someone in the house, “unlock & load” the chamber. It makes an unmistakeable sound that anyone will recognize. If they’re still around after that, they need to be shot!
September 29th, 2010 @ 3:49 pm
You are capable & tough, stay observant. You have a good strong spirit and you will survive this.
September 29th, 2010 @ 4:01 pm
Oh Shreve, I’m so saddened by your alarming news. But I’m also really angry. I will be praying that you and your ‘farmily’ and MC will stay safe. Keep your wits about you, and we’ll hope that this scumbag hits the road and never heads your way again. Do what you have to do to keep safe and sound.
September 29th, 2010 @ 4:09 pm
How ironic it is that you traveled the country alone on your Vespa, and now that you’ve decided to make a home in an area that should by all accounts be one of the safest, you have had to experience this violation. I am livid! If anyone can beat this, you can!
September 29th, 2010 @ 4:36 pm
Geez. When I first started reading, I thought that this was some random person- but somebody who found you from your blogs? Wow… people are insane.
On that note, do you carry a knife? I have a handy neck knife that slips into a rigid plastic sheath that you wear around your neck like a necklace. If you’re not carrying a handgun or a knife, at LEAST get one of those.
However, a .22 pistol would probably be much better. My dad carries his .44 Magnum with him, and the thing weighs about five pounds. It makes his pants sag to the point where he has to wear suspenders x_x’
September 29th, 2010 @ 4:38 pm
P.S.-
The system DOES suck. ‘We the People’ is more like ‘They the Leaders.’ I can’t believe that our lives are in the hands of such greedy men and women.
September 29th, 2010 @ 4:53 pm
There should be a public registry for convicted stalkers just like they have for sex offenders. They’re dangerous and likely to re-offend and people should know who and where they are! I really hope you will publicize who this person is as much as you can legally, at least locally so everyone will be on the lookout for him.
I’m sure you will keep safe. I’ve enjoyed your adventures with your Farmily, but if you ever need to stop sharing with us online to protect the life you have, we will just have to look forward to your books! It *shouldn’t* have to be that way, but reality is what it is, and your life and safety come first.
September 29th, 2010 @ 4:55 pm
Sierra (Comment 201) says exactly how I feel.
You could rent/buy/stream “The Brave One” (2007, Jodie Foster), though.
September 29th, 2010 @ 4:56 pm
I am greatly saddened to learn of the deranged individual messing with your life. I am one of many that have enjoyed and derived great pleasure from your blogs, Charlie, the farmily and your poetic writing. If you must withdraw from the blogs to protect yourself and your lifestyle, I will miss you, but, I will certainly understand. Do what you need to do and know that you are appreciated and loved.
Sending you love and light. Blessed be.
September 29th, 2010 @ 5:34 pm
I don’t think I’ve ever commented on either of your blogs before, although I’ve been addicted to Charlie forever & follow them both (and also your grandmother’s blog)
I tend to be rather a lurker but to go on record, I love them all. (haven’t checked out your sister’s yet but I intend to)
I am sorry for this awful experience you’re undergoing. But I’m also not a little horrified by some of the comments; those suggesting knives, or guns, as protection! I’m sure they come from a positive place (wanting to protect you) but the short-sightedness blows me away.
It also amazes me that some of the comments seemed to suggest that your being a blogger, being online; somehow put you in danger. There are unbalanced people everywhere, including, it seems, the internet.
And I am enraged at the callous treatment you’ve gotten at the hands of the so-called Law.
If you go on being the sane, loving and intelligent person I have been perceiving in all your posts, I believe you will be safe.
You have all these large (and small) animals that love you, and I’m sure, although you don’t write directly about them, you have other (social, human) resources as well. You don’t need guns or knives,they would only serve to endanger you and yours if you relied on them.
I hate thinking how bad anger and fear are making you feel. Please accept my support and good wishes, and be strong.
September 29th, 2010 @ 5:56 pm
Are you feeling all the love and support going out to you? When I read all these comments, I definitely feel it. My friend Sherri and I and her cats and my tortoise and my hubby send our love and support to you as well. And, if we could, we would be up there protecting you and your farmily.
As an aside, in order to get away from the shivers from hearing about your stalker, have you ever noticed how coyotes smell like fresh-ground coffee. I took care of a few coyotes a wildlife rehab center and in the morning when we would fix coffee, I would go around sniffing the air thinking there was a coyote in my house. Sherri & I think that is why we love coffee, or maybe it is why we love coyotes. : )
September 29th, 2010 @ 6:08 pm
Oh sad face. I’m glad you’re okay and well now, but I’m sorry that you even had to go through something like that. Happy thoughts, hey.
September 29th, 2010 @ 6:15 pm
Dear Shreve,
I just now saw this post and want to tell you again what many others have: you must do what you must to keep yourself and the farmily safe. If that means a police stationed outside your house for awhile, guns, withdrawing from blogging—whatever it takes to get rid of this guy. It is so sad that the victims must take these expensive measures to keep themselves safe.
So twisted this loser is that he takes advantage over someone else’s sharing of life and love. My blood boils.
If you need additional physical protection, put out a Facebook “call”, we will come, enmass, to help you. I (and I know others would as well) could stay up to a week, just let us know!
Much love, Judy
September 29th, 2010 @ 6:42 pm
holy sh*t.
The system (or lack thereof) is what makes my police LT husband so very angry. When he makes great arrests- builds great cases that turn into convictions- just for the courts to release serious criminals back into society. You hear the “over crowding” excuses non stop. It’s sickening.
I had a mentally ill man stalk me in college. It was beyond terrifying. I had to move to another state to get away.
I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with this as well.
Go back to the People Suck section of this blog. :)
September 29th, 2010 @ 6:49 pm
Oh wow. What a sack of douche! Do whatever you need to to be safe. Take care, and blessed be!
September 29th, 2010 @ 7:11 pm
I’ve just read every single comment *LOL* God, I love “YOUR” people. Yes indeed…WE WOULD come to your aid and protection. After reading this to J this morning he said, “H*LL, Wyoming isn’t THAT far away if she ever needs you to go”…Have guns…will travel…*grin*
September 29th, 2010 @ 7:12 pm
Shreve, I’ve always admired you! Others have already put it more eloquently than I can, but I’m proud of you, and I’m so sorry you had to go through this. The system sometimes is so fully ridden with BS, that it’s hard to believe it was really designed to do anything worthwhile. Yes, IUDs are wonderful. I’m glad you’re okay. *hugs* and kisses to the pups!
September 29th, 2010 @ 7:12 pm
Love Roxanne’s comment!! Have guns, will travel!!! :D
September 29th, 2010 @ 7:30 pm
Dear Shreve,
I read this with a sense of both sadness and compassion for what you’re going through and an equally strong sense of fury at the stalker and the system that let him off so lightly.
I, like you, read the Lisbeth novels with a strong appreciation for her refusal to allow herself to be victimized. Maybe we shouldn’t be so pleased to read about a guy getting his violent comeuppance, but I think every woman can identify with the fear and constant sense of needing to watch our backs because too many men think we are put here for them to use.
You, like me, are blessed to have one of the good guys with you. I’m sure MC is watching out for you as you watch out for yourself. As so many others here have said, be strong and take what ever precautions you need to be safe.
September 29th, 2010 @ 8:33 pm
It reminds me that whenever I went camping I was way more concerned about any potentially unstable people than about the wildlife.
September 29th, 2010 @ 10:08 pm
Do not respond to him!
September 29th, 2010 @ 10:12 pm
Me again, From reading the posts, it looks like all you have to do is say the word, you will have aposse/escort around you so fast the SOB will not have a chance.
I am retired but still a great shot, and I am not shy about using that skill.
September 29th, 2010 @ 10:54 pm
Shreve,
nothing much to add here as far as advice goes, but I wanted to lend my voice of support to the growing chorus.
I encourage you to do whatever is necessary to keep yourself safe, to use whatever tools you have at your disposal – and that includes us! I’m sure you don’t want any more strangers in your life right now, but maybe there is some way we can help from afar? I think you know that you have only to ask!
thank you for sharing your life with us (with me!), and thank you for continuing to live when surely it would be easier to retreat. But – do what you must. I love the daily coyote and honey rock dawn, but if you must retreat into obscurity for a time – if that’s what it takes, if that’s what you need- DO IT.
-from a faithful reader who wants you safe!
September 29th, 2010 @ 11:15 pm
Commiserating. My sister has had an Order for Protection for FOUR YEARS running against the father of her child. Bad deal, abusive relationship. It has been violated repeatedly and no jail time. I don’t know why these things aren’t taken seriously until someone gets hurt. Even when it’s proven that this is the result of ignoring this type of thing.
These situations suck. Big city, middle of a ranch, both are scary.
Stay safe, I like the idea of practicing in plain sight with your gun. :-) I don’t know if you get cell service but having that on you all the time might make it possible to call 911 if needed.
Aw, now I’m sounding paranoid. I’m not. But do take precautions. You are a beautiful woman (not just physically) and we are all “here” for you.
September 30th, 2010 @ 1:24 am
I don’t mean to sound flippant, but putting an end to your blog won’t get rid of the stalker. So get a gun, watch and listen to Charlie and Chloe, keep them close to you – – -even though Charlie shies away from strangers if he senses danger, well, he could very well surprise you AND the stalker. Keep MC a little closer too, if ya haven’t already. If it gets to the point of physical contact, well, we have to admit that men are stronger than women! I will pray it doesn’t get to that point.
Which brings me to what I really want to say. There most definitely IS someone else you can always, always depend on. God. I relied on myself for far too long, have been leaning on Him the last 10 years. Believe me, He can and will protect you. Please, at least go talk to the pastor of the church with that reader board you get such a kick out of!
September 30th, 2010 @ 2:39 am
I don’t even know what to say to you. It is so unfair that this has happened to you.
The only words that come to mind is that you have a huge base of fans/followers that wish you nothing but the very best. We are in awe of all you have done and you have brought that into all of our lives.
Thinking of you.
September 30th, 2010 @ 3:15 am
Time served?! What good will that do? How did just holding him in jail for a few weeks make him fit to return to society?
After his “sentence” was served he should have been transferred to a high security psychiatric hospital until such time his dangerous mental problem is resolved.
Please take every precaution to protect you & yours. We will all be praying for your safety & protection.
September 30th, 2010 @ 3:34 am
What a shock!
I was quite jolted when I read your post. I think that’s because (and I think I can speak for all who have replied here) I feel that you have become somewhat of a friend to me. You don’t know us, but we feel we have come to know you and treasure you. Your writing and pictures are a daily bright spot in an otherwise sometimes dreary world.
I am angry at this a-hole, angry at the system, and angry that your peaceful life has been disrupted.
As everyone else has said, please do whatever you need to do, and let us know if there’s anything we can do!
Stay safe…
September 30th, 2010 @ 5:38 am
Shreve- all of a sudden your new jewelry line in your etsy shop makes sense-the artemis necklace, the bullet necklace. You have been preparing your own protection all along. I’ll do what I can to strengthen what you have already chosen. Goddess bless!
September 30th, 2010 @ 7:10 am
Geeezzz…. Be Safe
September 30th, 2010 @ 7:18 am
Shreve,
Wow! First off can I say how much you are loved by all these people. I was overwhelmed by the response and cryed for you.
Continue to be strong. I just want to kick his ass okay?
September 30th, 2010 @ 8:09 am
Stressful, unwelcome & unasked. And it is always the victim who ends up paying the price in any criminal activity.
A public life/blog is an invitation to share in what’s offered, not to take for granted & want for more. Much respect for the continual posting, I know I’d either be foetal or in jail for blowing out the asshat’s knees.
Thank you for not giving in or up. I love your zen.
September 30th, 2010 @ 8:39 am
That totally sucks and I hope you stay safe. Pretty scary stuff.
September 30th, 2010 @ 9:02 am
Go healed, young lady! (and I think that you are!)
Be safe!
September 30th, 2010 @ 9:06 am
I’m so angry for you! Our legal system truly is pathetic for cases such as these. I also read the Lisbeth books, (loved them, yet was so disgusted at the same time because you KNOW situations like hers really aren’t so far-fetched). In your case, I’d definitely acquire her weapon of choice. Stay angry, and be safe. That bastard has no idea what he’s up against. Sending all of my super female mojo your way.
September 30th, 2010 @ 9:31 am
Oh, crap. if the system fails, can you sue this knucklehead? Seems like civil court should handle taking away all his assets so he can afford a big gun…
Don’t worry if I ask a personal question, you can have me send you some goodies from the big city. Send me a list.
September 30th, 2010 @ 9:58 am
thank you for sharing this with all of us; It is terrible this person received basically a slap on the wrist. recently,here in sw wyoming someone i have known for several years was killed my her husband; she had just arrived home and not too long after, she sent a text message to a friend to come get her and by the time friend arrived she had been shot by her husband; he shot himself also-she died, he lived and is awaiting trial. you are right, we have to protect our selves-whether in her case from her own husband or from total strangers
along with all your fans and friends,my thoughts and prayers are with you-be safe and stay strong-i have been reading this blog and you have and amazing support group.
thank you
peace
September 30th, 2010 @ 1:58 pm
I sensed something and was thinking it had something to do with those escaped felons who were on the run for a while and passed through your area. I was celebrating when they were all caught because I figured you’d be safe again and the stress would be gone.
In some ways this is worse — I’m extremely sad, though not surprised (unfortunately) that he wasn’t locked away for a very long time. I will hope that karma catches him out sooner rather than later so you won’t have the ongoing stress — we do all love you. You and Charlie and the farmily give such hope and wisdom and inspiration and beauty to all of us.
Will be sending good energy, prayers and whatever else I can. Stay safe… wishing peace and security for you and yours
September 30th, 2010 @ 2:27 pm
I’ve never commented before (I don’t think? despite the past few years of reading?) and of course I choose the post where everyone else is saying the same thing as I’m about to – I’m so sorry this is happening to you. I cannot imagine what that must be like. The system failed me too. In a different way, but I can relate to that feeling of betrayal. I also happen to be reading the second installment of Lisbeth Salander and I too feel that connection to the character. The system won’t work for her so she does what she has to to survive relying on no one but herself. Granted I’m only 200 pages in the second book, I dare say she’s been rather successful at it.
This was a strange First Comment but there it is! I’ve loved reading your two blogs and hope this creep moves along soon. (wishful thinking)
September 30th, 2010 @ 2:34 pm
Check out the Jennifer Lopez movie “Enough”.
September 30th, 2010 @ 2:46 pm
I’m sure I’m not the only one out here who’s thinking this:
If there’s absolutely anything we can do from a distance for you, do not hesitate to ask. You have so many of us who would gladly help out wherever we can.
Be safe.
September 30th, 2010 @ 5:49 pm
I’m glad you’re staying strong and writing about it, too.
If women started trying to do all of the things on the victim blamer’s list of things that women are “supposed” to do in order to prevent rape, assault, stalking, and harassment, we’d never get to the end of the list. We’d still get raped, assaulted, stalked and harassed into our graves, except we’d have buried ourselves there with our own hands.
Thanks for having the courage to share your beautiful life.
September 30th, 2010 @ 5:49 pm
That SUCKS! You are so right to be angry. 10 years ago, i was stalked & assaulted. He did hardly any time. Take care of yourself & be watchful & careful. Sending you lots of white light & positive energy to keep the SOB away.
Hugs from TX!
September 30th, 2010 @ 8:00 pm
Miss Stockton, I am sorry that such people, as this man walk the earth. We watch as you use Wyoming as your easel and your experiences as your canvas. You paint for the world a life we wish we had the courage to live. It is sad that people can not just admire others talent and beauty without being consumed by it. Please take care and remember the way we spell security in Colorado is GLOCK.
October 1st, 2010 @ 9:33 am
Sending you lots of love and peace of mind. I am so so sorry that you have to deal with a crazy person. There is no arguing with crazy. None.
If there’s anything we can do, don’t hesitate to let us know.
October 1st, 2010 @ 10:35 am
Wow girl!
Yes, the “justice” system pretty much sucks in the vast majority of cases.
Get yourself a 9mm backup pistol. Carry it. And practice with it.
And I’ll pray you never have to pull it.
October 1st, 2010 @ 11:41 am
I love reading all these wonderful posts – I am picturing this invisible force of love, caring and ferociousness riding on imaginary horses to Wyo, kickin’ up dust, to form a posse surrounding you with prayer, support and protection. I don’t for a minute underestimate its power.
I agree with Bill (#243) about the movie “Enough”. Hard movie to watch in some ways, but man, best education on self-defense that I’ve seen. Watched it many, many times, as I found myself in a situation somewhat similar to Lopez’s character in my marriage years ago, and the movie was downright healing. Changed me. Turning that energy-sucking fear into cool-headed preparation and empowering anger is life-altering. …And hey, girl, those hay- bale-slingin’-fence-post-poungin’ arms of yours… whoeee! Ya’ got those guns too. Strength and intellect – you got it goin’ on.
October 1st, 2010 @ 1:29 pm
I agree with Jenny C (above). I cannot say it any better than she did. I am including you in my prayers each night.
GO Shreve!
October 1st, 2010 @ 7:32 pm
Wow. Shreve. I have nothing eloquent to say, but I am so sorry. My sister went through something very similar and she was scared (at the time – no longer) I was SO ANGRY, and still am.
The whole experience is awful and unlogical and unnerving and angering beyond belief.
But, while most people are wonderful, there is the fraction that are crazy and awful. I get the sense from your blogs that you know too much of the latter already, which is why I read them every day.
I am in no way a fan of guns, but considering this is your unfortunate reality – trust, your instincts, train your reactions, be prepared, and then forget about it and live your life. You can’t stop that!
You will be fine. Love and warmth to you.
October 1st, 2010 @ 9:03 pm
I just knew that this day would come for you…I prayed it wouldn’t…but there’s always some nut out there that will try anything…and Lord knows, everyone of us has experienced that, in one way or another, whether we like to admit it or not…
….just remember, this too shall pass…
and you will move on…
….and remember, you have lots of friends = all us, and call on us anytime…
October 3rd, 2010 @ 4:24 pm
utbutbut is your COW pregnant?
October 4th, 2010 @ 9:57 am
oh you wondrous woman: I adore you. Safe and warm thoughts to surround and protect you.
oxoxox
October 4th, 2010 @ 10:10 am
OMG, Shreve! I knew something big was going on but I had no idea it was a BAD something big! I’m so sorry you’ve been put through this and I’m furious the bastard gets to walk away from this with barely a slap on the wrist.
I hope you’ve got a restraining order filed against this son of a bitch, but I also hope you’ve taken up some kind of martial arts training and/or one-on-one combat training.
If you think Charlie and Chloe would accept another canine, would you consider getting yourself a canine guardian, such as a Great Pyrenees, Italian Maremma, or Turkish Akbash?
Please know that we’re all concerned about your safety, and the farmily’s safety, and that you have our support (certainly mine) in any way that would be helpful to you.
Sending hugs and blessings!
October 4th, 2010 @ 7:45 pm
Hi Shreve,
So sorry to hear what you’re going through.
I can relate. I had a “peeping Tom” (sorry to anyone named Tom that’s a descent human being) for a while and it SUCKED!!! We had only lived at our home for 2 weeks when the first incident happened. It only escalated from there. And boy did it escalate. Scary. We moved out 6 months later, after figuring out it was actually more than one person–and we live in a town of 8,000! One of the men involved had tried to rape a pregnant neighbor who was walking down the sidewalk near their homes. (Obviously, he was crazy and has been locked up ever since.) I have become stronger because of it, but I will never be the same. It’s soooo violating. And wrong. And f’d up.
Like all the wonderful people leaving comments, I’m sending good vibes your way. And I’m angry on your behalf.
The system may have failed you, but you still have lots of support. Be strong and be safe. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this, but as you know, you will be okay.
October 5th, 2010 @ 4:41 pm
I’m sure you already have a weapon, but you should totally get one of these! What’s not to love about a pink pistol?
http://www.gunsamerica.com/926357877/Guns/Pistols/Ruger-Semi-Auto-Pistols/LCP/Ruger_LCP_Rasberry_Pink_NEW_FREE_SHI.htm
October 5th, 2010 @ 5:33 pm
Hi Shreve, I hope late is better than never. May the invisible power of good in the universe surround you and turn into force for you if needed. I’m sick of hearing about women being victims of ignorant freaks and the system sitting on its ass. We watched “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo” — I agree with you about the movie — it was awesome.
October 5th, 2010 @ 6:54 pm
speaking of protecting yourself, have you ever heard of a book titled ‘the gift of fear’? it’s by gavin de becker and it’s for women. it’s about listening to your instincts and how to protect yourself. i bought a copy for each of my niece’s when they went off to college. i should probably read the whole thing myself…
October 5th, 2010 @ 8:17 pm
I’m so sorry you are going through this.
Another book that will give you some insight of a stalker’s mind is ‘I know you really love me’ A true story written by Dr. Doreen Orion. She’s a psychiatrist who was stalked for years by a patient. She also recounts how the system failed her over and over. Holyoke Home is right. This person can never be reasoned with. Sadly, the only “good” outcome is if this guy becomes obsessed with another. Sucks all around.
October 6th, 2010 @ 2:07 pm
dear Shreve,
I just found the story of Charlie yesterday online in our local paper. I was so enthralled by the pictures posted in each month of each year….I couldn’t stop reading! Your life in Wyoming is what I dreamed of doing when I was younger, and the fact you rode a Vespa across the country….I ride a Harley, and can only say….you go girl!
When I checked Honey Rock Dawn today, I was taken aback by what happened to you. sadness, anger…then I sent a prayer up to God to protect you and the Farmily. As many have posted, I too hope that the positive thoughts and prayers sent your way will give you strength, and empower you to “take care of you” in whatever ways needed.
You are an amazing, strong woman! I will add you to my prayer list everyo morning!
God Bless……
October 7th, 2010 @ 5:31 am
I’m so sorry that you’ve been going through this and angry that the system failed you.
Through reading your blogs and your book it’s clear how adventurous, resourceful and fearless you are. (any woman who drives a Vespa cross country alone is fearless!)
He picked on the wrong person.
October 8th, 2010 @ 10:40 am
Hi Shreve. I’m speachless, really. It’s amazing what we miss out on around us when we’re so wrapped up in our own lives. I hope you know that you have a world of supporters who truly care and send love, light, peace and protection your way.
Namaste
October 11th, 2010 @ 6:33 am
Just now saw your Sept 28 post. There is nothing I can say that hasn’t been said already but just wanted to add my support, love and positive thoughts to all the rest. I’m so sorry you are going through this. I’m ready, willing, and able to make a donation to the “PROTECT SHREVE AND FARMILY FUND”.
Be well.
October 12th, 2010 @ 3:25 pm
I’ll send out prayers/good thoughts for your protection. Be safe. Take care. God bless.
October 13th, 2010 @ 6:35 pm
I am so impressed with all the wonderful things everyone has said to you, and so sorry if i missed someone else saying this already but I just wanted to add that it happens to low profile people too! Our business, just a service business for well pumps and heating etc., was stalked and harassed by a girl who was every bit as much a problem as imaginable, soon migrating her chaos to our home. We have had crazy previous employees come back (proving why they lost their job with us!) and yes even some obsessive customers too! They each played a part in taking a little more of our freedom away, yet they enjoyed total freedom to wreak havoc! I found an old “Danger High Voltage” sign that we have always had up on our gate at home. Our friends don’t need to worry about it but strangers aren’t about to find out if it is true or not!! Friendly is one thing but people who do not respect privacy are scary sometimes! I too feel so bad that you, such a sweet and giving person, had to experience this creep, and in case you are worried that your websites or your books invited such behavior, well just remember even a lowly plumbing company has attracted kooks too! Maybe a little official Danger High Voltage sign would add a little power to the force of yours and MC’s safety strategy! Happy Trails to you!
October 19th, 2010 @ 10:59 am
Shreve, I am so sorry you have to deal with this. I didn’t take the time to read through every response so far (I hope you will), so I don’t know if anyone has stressed the importance of self defense training to you. I saw lots of mention of target practice, but you need some specific training in both armed and unarmed self defense. If you have not already done this, ask at your local gun shop, shooting range, law enforcement detectives, or contact Dillon, the reloader’s supply about training courses. Target practice will not teach you how to protect yourself, please get professional training. Even a few days could save your life.
I am so happy you aren’t letting this stop you from sharing with us all.
October 28th, 2010 @ 9:15 am
Praying for the safety of you and your farmily. Gun powder and lead…hopefully won’t be needed. God bless you.
November 13th, 2010 @ 9:17 am
There are a couple of times I’ve provided information to the police as a witness. The accused turned out to be ‘known to police, and not someone I would otherwise have crossed paths with. My personal information became part of the record, and therefore laid bare to the accused and I started to think of all the things that person could do to me and mine because of that information. What a reality check! Justice systems should protect victims and witnesses at all costs, but that’s not the way it works. It just sucks. You stay safe.
January 30th, 2011 @ 2:43 pm
Dear Shreve,
My sadness for your plight just intensified. I went through a similar situation with a co-worker, that would crawl through my windows and helped themselves to my personal things(truly a sign of being mentally ill). You have a feeling of being violated. Sadly law enforcement could not and would not do anything. It escalated to physical threats and breaking my door down at 3AM. Finally they had some thing that they could hold this person on. But they only ended up with a slap on the hand.I left my job and family,moved a thousand miles away, just to escape this crazy. Sadly they went on to hurt someone else.
Stay strong and NEVER let your guard down!
I’m a wildlife photographer and would rather face a pissed off grizzly than deal with a stalker. At least I know what to expect with the bear!
March 7th, 2011 @ 12:08 pm
I found it interesting that the stalker was carrying a gun. And for that matter a big handgun. I sense him to be like a child. Afraid and angry, not at you but of what you represent to him. I will keep reading this story as I am very curious as to what happens next.
March 7th, 2011 @ 3:50 pm
Posted to Metafilter.. http://www.metafilter.com/101286/This-is-a-system-that-fails-the-responsible-and-the-innocent
Just so you know.
March 7th, 2011 @ 6:48 pm
Just curious about other info, except the fact that the guy is out. Are there any rules he has to follow? Can he still carry that gun? Is he allowed to go near you?
Stay strong, and maybe do some research about anything in your attitude, posture, movements that might make you more tempting for a “predator”.
March 7th, 2011 @ 9:10 pm
Stalkers are a horrendous phenomenon. But it somehow feels good for me to read someone else’s experience with it. Our family was stalked for many years. We’re not public at all and we still haven’t identified who it is. He still lurks around and makes creepy calls on occasion; I guess to keep us in fright.
April 19th, 2011 @ 7:51 am
Peace and love to you Shreve. You are an inspiration to me. Have you read the book Woodswoman? It is another amazing woman like yourself her name is Anne LaBastille. Story takes place in the Adirondack Mountains of NY
Best Regards,
Holly Hahne