One Week Later
☆ April 14, 2014
I planted seeds. I planted one tray the day after he died and another tray the following Friday. They’re under lights in my bathroom which has a constant ambient temperature of 80°F, thanks to the heat light for the chickies – who have outgrown their cardboard box and now roam a very large wooden crate. The headdresses of the Polish crested are in full punk rock mode – pictures coming soon. The only time I feel truly OK right now is when I’m hanging out in the bathroom, feeding the chickies from my hand or misting the emerging sprouts. New life, and all that. It’s gentle and hopeful. Thank you all, so much, for your comments and emails over this past week. They have helped me more than I ever expected and more than you will ever know.
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59 Responses to “One Week Later”
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April 14th, 2014 @ 6:38 am
I am so sorry for your sad news, for your loss. What a cavernous ache these animals leave in our hearts. Yes to little green sprouts and baby chicks, especially the punk rock Polish ones who will soon have you giggling against your will. Big hugs from Oklahoma… So sorry. xoxo
April 14th, 2014 @ 7:15 am
After the crushing death of our fourth “kid”, our family golden retriever, we were feeling lost in the emptiness which remained. With love and honor to his generous love for us, we adopted a new dog who needed us. In nurturing, supporting and helping this sweet new soul, ever so gradually, we healed. Sending you prayers that in nurturing the wonderful members of your farmily, you, too, will begin to heal. You are in our thoughts.
April 14th, 2014 @ 7:16 am
One day at a time, doing whatever heals you. Keep your heart open. . .
April 14th, 2014 @ 7:45 am
Susie B ~ God bless you and your heart for adopting another dog. Someone sent me this last will and testament from a dog – get a tissue – but this is beautiful!!!
http://fortheloveofthedogblog.com/article/dog-writing-poetry/a-dogs-last-will-and-testament
Shreve ~ Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!
Blessings to ALL who have their hearts open to love animals!
April 14th, 2014 @ 8:07 am
I know this ache well. I’m so sorry.
April 14th, 2014 @ 8:19 am
It’s the part of life that I don’t enjoy, saying a final goodbye. The welcoming of new life is the part that I enjoy the most. Both parts are intertwined and unchangeable, as it should be.
April 14th, 2014 @ 8:21 am
No matter how long (mega years) or how short (just a few days or hours) the time that you have an animal in your life, the heartbreak is there when you lose them, but the love you have for them will always be there to keep the good, happy memories of them alive. Love to you and the rest of the farmily as you heal. And Thank you for sharing with us and allowing us to share with you.
April 14th, 2014 @ 8:23 am
Time. Sometimes it seems to move too slowly for us, sometimes too fast. But time heals, and in time you will heal. While you wait, be so very gentle with yourself.
April 14th, 2014 @ 8:26 am
Like all aspects of life, grief has its own pace. Glad you have new beginnings around you as you learn to cope with a beloved ending.
April 14th, 2014 @ 9:07 am
Hearts across America beat for you and Frisco. I hope you feel that each time you feel his absence.
April 14th, 2014 @ 9:07 am
thank you for sharing with us as you continue to heal. having the plants and chickies to nurture will hopefully soothe your soul and heart. much love and hugs coming your way
peace
April 14th, 2014 @ 9:11 am
My beloved Scuba basenji girl died almost 2 months ago. It’s just the hardest thing. May we all get what we need to stay open and gentle in our hearts. Your site is a true connection to good things.
April 14th, 2014 @ 9:46 am
Shreve…………When I read your post last week my heart sank. I am not an emotional person, and yet when I read he had died it was like a piece of me died too. A piece I didn’t know was there. You’re book and blog have made you all apart of my family and I hope you know you and your farmily are always in many hearts and prayers.
April 14th, 2014 @ 10:30 am
Shreve, I know you know this: the giant love from your giant friend lives on in and through you.
I had a beloved tomcat friend that I used to pick up and hold over my heart. Very special. After he died, it took awhile for me to heal from his not being in his body anymore. But I could picture us together and feel the love we shared all over again. And I still do that to this day, 10 years later. I wish that for you.
God bless you.
April 14th, 2014 @ 11:42 am
We each find our own path through grief.
When my Caesar died I built a small garden outside my dining room window. Lying under that bay window was his favorite spot. I call it Caesar’s garden.
You will find your path. Perhaps you already have. Frisco was full of life, a very special life and the time he had with you was the best he could have wished. You gave each other a gift.
You will find your path. Perhaps a particular chick will make itself outstanding and become Frisco II or Friscette. Or you will create a special vegetable garden as a remembrance. Perhaps you’ll build a garden bench. It will come to you. The ache will lessen. He will always be a part of you.
Anonymous, with slight revisions:
It came to me that every time I lose an animal they take a piece of my heart with them, and every new animal that comes into my life gifts me with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough all the components of my heart will be animal and I will have become as generous and loving as they are.
April 14th, 2014 @ 12:09 pm
methinks we’ve all been helping each other. thanks to shreve and frisco. xox
April 14th, 2014 @ 12:11 pm
and thanks to charlie, of course. :)
April 14th, 2014 @ 12:26 pm
Life is a circle. One life passes and there is always new life that needs nurturing. We are the ones that have to pick ourselves up off the floor, forget our pain, and focus on the new. Its hard. Losing someone is like having a layer of skin stripped off.
Going through the loss of a long term marriage. But once I got through grieving finding all kinds of NEW to focus on.
Life is always worth celebrating even if we don’t really feel like it.
April 14th, 2014 @ 12:55 pm
I am so glad that you were there for him at the end (and beginning). There is no greater gift we can give to the animals who love us unconditionally than be there for them when their souls are released, and before as they struggle through an illness. I still cry years later remembering the beautiful animal souls that have been a part of my life, and their last days.
April 14th, 2014 @ 1:11 pm
New Life to help heal the hurt after a death… I hope you make it through your days to where it hurts a little less.
April 14th, 2014 @ 2:52 pm
Spring is a lovely time for new beginnings. Perhaps when the time is right, you can plant a tree in memory of dear Frisco. Or whatever soothes your heart best. Love to you and the farmily.
April 14th, 2014 @ 3:29 pm
you’ve been on my mind – these things take as much time as they need to take.
the chicks sound adorable!
April 14th, 2014 @ 4:49 pm
PS Shreve, your blog readers are so very, very kind! It makes me happy that there are so many compassionate people out there. So lovely that they gravitate to your blogs~
April 14th, 2014 @ 5:10 pm
I can only echo what all the kind and compassionate people have said before me. You are in all our thoughts as you grieve.
April 14th, 2014 @ 5:38 pm
Thank you so much for touching base with us, sweet girl. Holding you close in my heart and prayers.
These are extraordinary responses today – what an amazing following you have. Each message is so helpful, so meaningful. Really liked what you said, wright1: “Like all aspects of life, grief has its own pace.”
“Love is stronger than death even though it can’t stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can’t separate people from love. It can’t take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death.” (Unknown) If there’s even a smidge of comfort spending hours in the bathroom with the burgeoning life of chickies and seedlings, Shreve, milk it for all it’s worth. *Hugs*
April 14th, 2014 @ 5:47 pm
I had a cat that I loved with all my heart. He developed cancer and I simply couldn’t deal with it. He died and I was lost without him. I had two pictures of him that were my favorites. They captured what he was like. I placed them in frames on the table by my bed where I looked at him every night for ten years before I was able to put the pictures away. I wasn’t in deep mourning for him all those years, but one day I looked at them and felt that I could put them away. He’s always in my heart.
Then I started to adopt rats–companion rats. I’ve had twenty-eight of them over the years and they’ve taught me so much about death and dying. I smile whenever I think about them. They brought me so much laughter and happiness and I loved their company and huge personalities. They are always in my heart.
I’m still sending hugs and comfort.
April 14th, 2014 @ 5:56 pm
Nothing but hugs, hugs, and hugs to you and the rest of the farmily, Shreve.
April 14th, 2014 @ 6:16 pm
Just here, with the rest of us, with you in spirit.
April 14th, 2014 @ 6:25 pm
You just hang out wherever you want to,, do whatever makes you feel at peace. Just do what you need to do until you are ready for more.
Life, as we all know, is too short to stress out over people and things, obligations…so, please, merely take care of yourself and your farmily, the young and the old, & remember , that you have a lot of friends out here praying for you and wishing we could take some of the grief and sadness away from you. You are very special to me, Shreve.
April 14th, 2014 @ 8:57 pm
The circle of life… it’s hard to take, when we fall in love and lose what we cherish.
Nurture yourself as best you can, starting with chickies and seedlings. (((Big Virtual Hug)))
April 14th, 2014 @ 11:06 pm
Your absence has gone through me like thread through a needle. Everything I do is stitched with it’s color.
W S Merwin
April 15th, 2014 @ 2:24 am
There is nothing easy about saying goodbye. All of us who read your blog and share your experiences feel your pain.
Frisco changed your life when he was born and he changed it again when he died. He will be remembered always and someday you will tell stories about him with a smile and a laugh.
We are all holding your hand in cyberspace and thinking about you.
April 15th, 2014 @ 5:40 am
Thanks for sharing your journey with us Shreve. We have all been worrying about you and feeling your heartache. Frisco touched so many lives through your wonderful pictures and stories. I will think of him whenever I see a black bull in a field. My nephew has 85 cattle and my family lives in a farming area. Sending love and hugs.
April 15th, 2014 @ 7:33 am
My pain and suffering came to an end,
so don’t cry for me, my person, my friend.
But think of the living –
those souls with fur.
And though our bond can’t be broken apart,
make room for another in your home
and your heart.
Carol Schubert-James
April 15th, 2014 @ 8:30 am
There are times when I read the paper or watch the news, that I fear for this world and all the ugliness that is in it, in the hearts of some people. THEN, I connect with all the compassionate people on this blog and I see you as the heart of a collection of wonderful people with a love line to each of us around the world and I feel hope. You are truly blessed Shreve and you are the best Earth Mother I could ever ask for. xxoo
April 15th, 2014 @ 10:54 am
Thank you for sharing your heart.
Hugs.
April 15th, 2014 @ 1:02 pm
Shreve, my heart still breaks for you. I lost my cat over a year ago. And even though we now have Oliver in our lives I still miss my Sabrina. And I am sure that my entire family, and all my friends are worrying about how I will handle the loss of my horse when that moment arrives. Just know that he loved you.. as much as you loved him. I have seen animals love, just as strongly as we humans do. And I have seen animals mourn, just as we humans do. He loved you. He will always be with you. Know this.
April 15th, 2014 @ 1:54 pm
i was working a trade show out of town this weekend and tried to tell a friend how the sad news about frisco had me sobbing at my desk even though i have never meet nor that beautiful bull. just trying to tell the story of your love and care…and his 1800 pounds of love…had my eyes leaky. the power of your words and the loving way to interact with the animals in your care is intense.
and also has led to me again opening my home to an animal 16 months after losing my dear canine companion.
love to you.
April 15th, 2014 @ 2:31 pm
OMGosh, I’ve been off-line for awhile & just read about Frisco. I am so very sad to read of his passing Shreve, for your very large loss.
Healing with new life, your “bathroom” life, awesome!
Jackie in NC
April 15th, 2014 @ 3:50 pm
My sincere sympathies on your loss. You did everything you could and he could not have wanted a greater love or more caring that what you gave him. Thank you so much for sharing.
April 15th, 2014 @ 5:01 pm
Spring is slowly but surely sneaking up on us…. The trees. All have green this week when there was none last…. Allow the season to slowly come to you…. Hugs.
April 15th, 2014 @ 5:47 pm
So sad. He was so beautiful, so sweet. God bless you and your farmily.
April 15th, 2014 @ 6:06 pm
I still come back and look at his pictures every day since you posted. I still look at pictures of my dog I lost nearly 8 months ago now every day, and wait for the pain to start easing, as everyone keeps telling me it will. You are in my thoughts every day.
April 15th, 2014 @ 6:57 pm
I too look at his pictures every day, with tears in my eyes. While we welcome spring and the hope it brings. Patr…”allow the season to slowly come to you”….brilliant and beautiful. And I think Shreve knows we all wish that for her.
April 15th, 2014 @ 7:38 pm
You’ve made so many people cry across the internet, with you, over a bull. And a goose. I never would have thought I could feel so sad about a blog someone I never met writes in Wyoming about farm animals. I don’t live a cyber-life, but I sobbed at my computer when I read the news. We’re so with you that it’s weird. We all have some healing to do. Thank you for sharing the beautiful parts of your life with us, even the unbearably sad ones.
April 15th, 2014 @ 10:56 pm
I didnt want to comment when this was first posted and now I am kicking myself. But my initial reaction was holding back tears. The picture of frisco as a calf captured the kindest eye that I can only imagine sweet animal he was. Loss is always hard and never taken lightly but I sure he brought some light on this earth. We are truly blessed to be in the presence of animals. He may be gone but his kind spirit lives on thru the lives he touched with his gentle heart.
April 15th, 2014 @ 11:07 pm
I’m grateful that spring is around you, reminding you that life is a circle. I hope you continue to find beauty and love in all those little (but amazingly important) moments, Shreve.
April 15th, 2014 @ 11:21 pm
I echo what mlaiuppa said. Truth there. One day, one step at a time.
April 16th, 2014 @ 6:31 am
a party in your bathroom. kinda sounds like the seventies. can’t wait to see the lil punks in action.
April 16th, 2014 @ 3:16 pm
The good of all this is that Punks not dead! Its rather alive and thriving in your bathroom.
*rocks out with Scotty* BRING ON THE PUNKS!
April 16th, 2014 @ 8:28 pm
Oh no! I’m just now finding out about Frisco. Shreve, I’m so so sorry. The one truly shitty thing about having animals in your life is that you usually aren’t ready for them to go and it hurts like hell. I’m sorry you never did get a definitive answer on what was wrong, but I’m glad you got to put everything else on hold and just be with him.
April 17th, 2014 @ 11:21 am
Shreve. I am so sorry. My thoughts are with you, take good care xx
April 21st, 2014 @ 8:53 pm
My heart sinks for you knowing you lost your sweet Frisco. How blessed you were to have one another. He knew he was loved, what comfort that must of brought him.
April 24th, 2014 @ 11:25 pm
April is a tough month for myself as well, having lost my treasured baby, my cat of 16 and a half years back in 2007. I am truly sorry for your loss, Shreve. Frisco was an amazing guy, a real gentle giant and a tender soul.
April 25th, 2014 @ 2:55 pm
I am so sorry to read this. He was so beautiful and you had such a special connection. I can only imagine the pain you’re in, but you gave him such a happy life. I hope you find some peace in that.
April 25th, 2014 @ 6:36 pm
Frisco is a star whose light will travel forever!
April 29th, 2014 @ 12:30 pm
Amazing photo of you and Frisco.
May 22nd, 2014 @ 4:44 pm
There is nothing I can say but I can offer a virtual HUG. {hug} Focus on whatever you need to to get through. xo
May 28th, 2014 @ 2:10 pm
Hi Shreve-I hadn’t stopped by for awhile, and I am shocked and devastated hearing about Frisco. I am so sorry for you and the rest of the Farmily. Losing a loved one is so hard, and you’ve had him for so long and your bond was so deep–I can’t imagine. You’re in my thoughts! xoxo