Part VI

Earlier posts:
Intro, Intro Addendum
Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V

About two weeks after the bond hearing – during which the stalker remained in jail as he could not produce $10,000 cash – I got a call from the Victim’s Advocate in the court. This is a woman who works in the Prosecuting Attorney’s office and, as her title indicates, acts as a liaison between the court and the victim. She was the one truly competent, invested individual I encountered during my dealings with the court and has become a friend.

The stalker had plead ‘not guilty’ at the initial hearing, and he wanted to get out of jail until the jury trial which was scheduled for two months out. The Victim’s Advocate was calling to inform me that the stalker had, through his court-appointed attorney, requested a hearing to have his bond waived. WAIVED. Seriously? I mean, even in Monopoly, unless you are lucky enough to draw a Get Out Of Jail Free card, you SIT THERE OR PAY TO LEAVE. Does the United States judicial system now hand out Get Out Of Jail Free cards upon request? Apparently so. Because the Victim’s Advocate urged me to appear in court and testify, stating that if I did not, it was very likely his request would be accepted by the judge.

I did not want to testify, but I thought, at the very least, it would be good practice for the jury trial and at best, could keep him in jail until the trial. Mike took the day off and went with me, and I drenched myself in Golden Armor, which did its job – even though I was in a small room with the stalker and on the stand in front of him, I felt that he could not see me, could not access me. He was in an orange jumpsuit, chains shackled around his ankles and wrists cuffed to a chain around his waist.

I took the stand first, and the Prosecuting Attorney asked me questions that allowed me to describe the history of the stalking and the measures taken to try to stop it. He ended with the question, “Do you think the bond should be waived?” I said, “No. When I told him to stop, he said he would stop but he didn’t; it escalated. When the Chief of Police called him and told him to stop, he said he would stop but he didn’t; it escalated further. He says he will stop now but there is nothing in his past behavior to indicate that he will stop if he is released, in fact, the pattern shows the opposite. I hope the court recognizes this and will hold him accountable for his actions.”

I was told to remain on the stand because it was now the defense attorney’s turn to question me. The court-appointed defense attorney was a misogynistic incarnation of evil. God, she was vile. SHE. And not just with me. She defends rapists, abusers, and stalkers, and I heard much about her treatment of other female victims – her attempts to blatantly humiliate and denigrate victims while they’re on the stand – and that she was chronically rude and unprofessional to the staff of the county attorney’s office.

When she had her chance with me, she tried. Oh, how she tried to slander my character and upset me. But it soon became evident to everyone in the room that she was no match for me. I wanted to say, “Lady, don’t waste your time. I BLOG. The worst you’ve got won’t come close to the hatemail I’ve gotten. The trolls have made me immune.”

She became visibly filled with hatred because I didn’t crack under her words. And her defense was ludicrous. Here’s an example:
Her: Have you read anything by Stephen King?
Me: No.
Her: {accusatory tone} What??
Me: No.
Her: {pause} Well, you know who he is?
Me: Yes.
Her: {sing-song voice} My client is creative. He wants to be a writer. Say he was just acting this way as research for a novel he’s working on. There’s no law against that, is there?
Me: Yes, there is. That’s why he was ARRESTED.

So, by her logic, it’s OK to kill someone, as long as you write a book about it afterward? Idiot.

Then it was the stalker’s turn to take the stand. The defense attorney made a big fuss about how I had accepted his “friend request” on Facebook, nevermind that I’ve accepted over 3,000 friend requests, that it happened months before the stalking began, and that I had since blocked him. That, and the “he’s the next Stephen King,” were their only defense.

When it was the Prosecuting Attorney’s chance to question the defendant, he asked, among other things, why the stalker had a loaded .44 Magnum with him. The stalker launched into a long, detailed, disturbing monologue about how he had creditors after him. The creditors would not leave him alone. And so he carried a loaded gun at all times because if those creditors got close he was going to shoot the first one in the face, and the last thing the second one was going to see was the bullet exiting the giant hole in the back of his partner’s head and the blood splattering all over right before it then entered his brain. He was going to kill both those creditors with one bullet. And then those creditors wouldn’t be bothering him anymore.

The courtroom was silent. The judge had his jaw on the desk in front of him. You could see the defense attorney saying “SHUT UP! SHUT UP!” in her head. The Prosecuting Attorney told me afterward that the hair on the back of his neck was standing on end.

The judge made his declaration. He was red in the face and said, directly to the stalker, “You are crazy, you are dangerous, and bail stands at $10,000.”

But this is not the end of the story.
Part VII is HERE

The Crazies

{The Crazy Mountains, Montana}

OK, so, I take back what I said in the post below. I love the deep country too, too much to pine for city life, a fact re-evidenced over the past few days. I spent a long weekend in Bozeman with my sister, and Bozeman ~ which isn’t even a city, just a college town ~ was far too much “civilization” for my taste.

The Yay’s and Nay’s of the outside world:

yay: olive bars
nay: ubiquitous cell phones
yay: gluten-free pizza
nay: cars cars cars cars cars cars
yay: organic groceries
nay: gray snow

{hmm… all my “yay’s” are food-related}

yay: seeing my sis
I’ll brave the crazies of civilization to visit her….

but an even better plan:

a
greenhouse

a
cheese cave

a
root cellar

a
guest cabin

YES.

Girlcrush!

Annie Novak of
Eagle Street Rooftop Farm in NYC

She runs a 6,000 square foot rooftop garden on top of a warehouse in Brooklyn.

I found her via The Selby
~ click through for great pics ~

New York City life with a deep and daily connection to the earth?
I’m a tiny bit jealous.

City peeps ~ Major inspiration here!!

The Skin Skinny

This post is so overdue. Like three years overdue! I get a lot of email from people wondering what I do for my skin and how I keep it moisturized in this dry clime. The answer is ridiculously simple and cheap. I don’t use commercial face creams or lotions. None at all. I moisturize with cold-pressed oils in their raw and purest form.

My daily moisturizer is cold-pressed pure jojoba oil (pronounced ho-ho-bah). Jojoba oil has a molecular structure that is extremely similar to the oils our bodies naturally produce. Thus, jojoba assimilates into the body smoothly and is absorbed quickly. My skin loves it. So does my wallet ~ it’s extremely inexpensive. And so does the planet, because I buy it in bulk and don’t go through all those little jars and plastic bottles like I did when I used regular face creams and body lotions.

I started using cold-pressed oils as my primary moisturizer when I was 24, so…. NINE years ago. This has been my regimen for nine years. Gah, that makes me feel old. And yet I look young!

I have experimented with several different brands along with different oils and would suggest anyone do this to find the right match for their skin. Jojoba oil from Mountain Rose Herbs is my main standby. I have also used apricot kernel oil and currently use kukui nut oil on occasion ~ these are slightly heavier oils that I use when I need a deeper, richer moisturizer, usually at night in the wintertime. Cold pressed olive oil is a great everyday moisturizer, too. I promise, you won’t smell like food.

I also use cold-pressed shea butter on my face after a sunburn (rare) or windburn (sometimes it can’t be avoided). Shea butter is a thick butter that melts as it hits the skin, and it is absorbed more slowly. It’s not something I’d put on my face right before work or a date, but it’s a very nourishing treatment when you’re just sitting around watching a movie or something. Sometimes I use it just around my eyes and on my lips for a deep moisturizing treatment. It’s also great for hands and cuticles. Though the best cuticle treatment, which I recently discovered, is Liquid Lanolin. I put this stuff on Daisy’s teats to help keep them moisturized and conditioned in the wintertime, and found it has done wonders for my cuticles, too!

Cold-pressed oils have not been heated, and these are the only oils I will use on my skin. They have not undergone heat treatment during the extraction process, nor been heated as a result of friction during the extraction process, nor heated after extraction during processing. They are pure, raw oils. We are pure, raw beings, and to me, it only makes sense to use a similar product on my skin. Our skin is our largest organ, and the popularity of dermal patches proves that what we put on our skin goes into our body. I don’t want synthetics, dyes, artificial fragrances, or petroleum products in my bod! And, contrary to what the commercials will tell you, I know I don’t need any of that stuff to have great skin.

Because they are cold-pressed, these oils are not inert and “stable” ~ they will spoil if left in the heat or sunlight for long periods of time. I keep the bulk bottles in my fridge (I usually buy the 16oz bottles which last a very long time), and have small amber and cobalt glass bottles out for daily use which I refill as necessary.

I often add a few drops of essential oil to these bottles to create natural, custom scents. While I keep a bottle of jojoba oil unscented for my face, I have bottles with spray diffusers which I infuse with essential oil and use on my body (I don’t use commercial lotion on my body, either). I love the scent of jasmine and bought a teeny tiny vial of jasmine essential oil ~ it’s crazy expensive! But it, too, lasts for ages. Three drops of jasmine in one of the larger glass bottles infuses the oil with a gorgeous, discreet fragrance. NOTE: Before using essential oils on the skin, do read up on safety and dilution ratios. Here’s a place to start.

See? So simple! So easy! Budget-friendly and luxurious all at once! So, go forth and moisturize. And don’t forget your neck. Every time you moisturize your face, moisturize your neck as well!