Messy Can Be Gratifying
☆ February 22, 2016
I’m at my niece’s first birthday party.
More correctly, I am outside in the backyard with my sister’s dog and a chocolate cupcake.
It’s madness inside.
Parents, standing shoulder to shoulder, have formed a ring surrounding a dozen tiny humans under the age of 2. It is so loud.
It’s not madness. To those inside, it’s totally normal.
I am the mad one, sitting outside a party talking to a dog.
I am not mad, either. I just need a small break. The size of this gathering is equivalent to 15% of the population of my town.
Madness/normal, either/or, all/nothing…..
Collectively, we are so attached to a good/bad binary.
And there is no good/bad binary!
Based on some comments on my previous post, I feel the need to clarify my opinion: receiving immediate feedback after sharing online does not fit this mythical binary. If I didn’t want to read comments, I would disable comments. It’s quick, it’s easy, and I’ve done it before.
But.
Doing so disables the two-way – nay, multi-way – communication so specific to the internet, which I find special, interesting, and worthwhile. It can be overwhelming… and extraordinary. It can be annoying…. and an honor. It is not either/or.
It is challenging to navigate. Full stop.
And now… I’m going to go back inside and watch babies roll around in sweet potato, and toss a balloon into a bouquet of tiny hands.
Comments
23 Responses to “Messy Can Be Gratifying”
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February 22nd, 2016 @ 8:51 am
Happy Birthday to your Niece. :)
Has anyone told you that you may be an Empath?
(I don’t like labels or even trying to put someone in a group and I don’t even like some of the explanations for Empaths.)
But… to me an Empath is someone who is much more conscious or “awake” than the majority of the population. They are open to the underlying world of unseen energy that most undoubtedly exists. (That’s why the comment responses can be a little much.)
Just Sayin’! :)
Only sharing with the best of intentions.
Have a great day out there! :)
February 22nd, 2016 @ 8:53 am
Everything you say – have been saying off late – resonates deeply within me. Thank you.
February 22nd, 2016 @ 9:00 am
“…a bouquet of tiny hands.” I love this image very much.
February 22nd, 2016 @ 9:09 am
Oh, I can relate! I saw the picture and thought “oh, how nice an intimate birthday where the child gets to be a child” but then read the post and realized it’s exactly like any family event my sister throws! No less than 50 people is acceptable. It’s always good when you can escape and hang with the dogs!
February 22nd, 2016 @ 9:22 am
Normally, at any gathering I attend you will find me alone around something furry or fuzzy and on most likely 4 legs. Don’t get me wrong, I love “most” people, but at gatherings, I become claustrophobic and the noise levels give me serious headaches. I can understand you need to escape and hang with the dog, cause I would be right there with you. Happy Birthday to your Niece!
February 22nd, 2016 @ 9:46 am
I have been a fan of yours since the publishing of “Daily Coyote” so many years ago. I have followed you….sometimes sporadically, dipping into your world when I needed a bit of inspiration.
I watched you speak when you could barely talk and based on your premise of being true to yourself, I bought a silver pendant from you and wore it on the Camino de Santiago as a reminder while I walked 550 miles.
As human as the rest of us,you are willing to step up and be brave enough to remind us of possibility. It’s important.
I thank you for that
February 22nd, 2016 @ 9:53 am
there are times when i would love to just roll around in sweet potatoes…
February 22nd, 2016 @ 11:58 am
I’m always the one hanging out with the dog at the parties. I understand completely. I love a party – but in small doses.
February 22nd, 2016 @ 12:05 pm
A dozen tiny humans under two? All squealing at a birthday party (sugar rush)? I’ll bet it was loud!
I, too, would have been outside with the dog. In fact, I’d have been having panic attacks and clinging to the dog as the only sane one in the bunch.
Unlike you, I’m not sure I would have been able to rejoin the humans; there are times when I find people too incredibly exhausting to be with.
But you’re absolutely right about binary thinking being a hoax; life is always more complicated than “binary” allows it to be.
February 22nd, 2016 @ 1:20 pm
Yes-not- our 2 kids, now grown way ups-experienced parties for four. Mom, dad, and sibling. I just do not get parties for babies. I guess they really are for the adults to get together, so I guess that is alright too.
February 22nd, 2016 @ 2:52 pm
Wonderful descriptions! I can almost smell it.
(we also only had the number of guests equal to the age of the child – but our “kids” are also mid-twenties now – different generation, different ideas)
****
Good-bad /either-or: it is also so much more “healthy” to realise that things are not – ever – in only two shades of any colour. It takes practice to stop putting them there, if we were used to doing so before, but it is relieveing to not get caught up in it.
February 22nd, 2016 @ 7:03 pm
My head just exploded, look at that mess!
February 22nd, 2016 @ 8:51 pm
Get a mobile petting zoo over for your niece’s 2 year birthday. We did that. I am so glad I got a video of my wife putting lettuce in my kid’s hand so he could feed a piglet, and he dutifully ate the lettuce before the piglet could get it. Man, try getting him to do that now that’s he’s 5. No way.
February 23rd, 2016 @ 2:16 am
I am not slagging baby parties, no way, Jose, they provide my business (I bake biscuits). Just don’t ask me to attend one! Way too many little people – making me nervous. I am childless and have no idea how to handle one. I leave that to more capable people.
Rockrat, thank you, you made me laugh. This will be a good day.
February 23rd, 2016 @ 5:13 am
I am with you. I would have my cupcake and the pet…outside. The inside is chaos and causes me stress. The loud and the zooming around. I am an animal person, not a baby person. It takes all kinds to make the world go around. I have had people get mad at me because I do not hold babies….but will hold your puppy/kitten in a second. I wish they wouldn’t take it personally, but just understand that is how God wired me.
February 23rd, 2016 @ 7:40 am
I too would find myself outside needing a quiet break with the dog. Relating to the first comment by Denise on being empathic, about 20% of folks are more sensitive and relate to the world in a different way according to research by Elaine Aron.
You are not mad, you are normal in a different way of processing stimuli. There is often a strong relation to the natural world (for me it is calming). Never understood why I preferred the quiet until I read Aron’s info on highly sensitive people. I offer this info only to educate but knowing it has helped friends who couldn’t understand their way of relating to the world. If you search for Elaine Aron and Highly Sensitive you will find her research. I’m still in awe of your capturing Charlie every day and how you use the camera to transmit your relationship to the world like the one above.
February 23rd, 2016 @ 7:53 am
I’d be hanging with the dog too. :o)
February 23rd, 2016 @ 8:46 am
I mostly prefer sharing space with nature, quiet nature. I’d be with the dog.
February 23rd, 2016 @ 9:33 am
A loved one would attend week long meditation gatherings where only the group leader was allowed to speak for the whole week. When I would pick her up I’d be bubbly and happy to see her and ask all kinds of questions and she would look at me like I was assaulting her. If you are not used to the noise it is an assault.
February 23rd, 2016 @ 10:16 am
Thank you for writing again in whatever form it encapsulates- it is so very nice to hear your “voice” again.
:)
February 23rd, 2016 @ 11:39 am
How true! The only thing binary is…binary really. Everything depends on perspective
February 23rd, 2016 @ 12:42 pm
You can do a lot worse than a dog when it comes to a meaningful conversation.
February 23rd, 2016 @ 5:40 pm
Being an introvert myself, I find parties draining. Feeling like I’m expected to mingle and take an interest is a fair expectation at a gathering, at least to me. But trying to get a bead on people, because I’m terrible at superficial party talk with people I don’t know, is exhausting. Like others, I don’t hate people, I just don’t do so well at large gatherings with people I don’t know and don’t care if I ever see again.