Messy Can Be Gratifying

I’m at my niece’s first birthday party.

More correctly, I am outside in the backyard with my sister’s dog and a chocolate cupcake.

It’s madness inside.

Parents, standing shoulder to shoulder, have formed a ring surrounding a dozen tiny humans under the age of 2. It is so loud.

It’s not madness. To those inside, it’s totally normal.

I am the mad one, sitting outside a party talking to a dog.

I am not mad, either. I just need a small break. The size of this gathering is equivalent to 15% of the population of my town.

Madness/normal, either/or, all/nothing…..

Collectively, we are so attached to a good/bad binary.

And there is no good/bad binary!

Based on some comments on my previous post, I feel the need to clarify my opinion: receiving immediate feedback after sharing online does not fit this mythical binary. If I didn’t want to read comments, I would disable comments. It’s quick, it’s easy, and I’ve done it before.

But.

Doing so disables the two-way – nay, multi-way – communication so specific to the internet, which I find special, interesting, and worthwhile. It can be overwhelming… and extraordinary. It can be annoying…. and an honor. It is not either/or.

It is challenging to navigate. Full stop.

And now… I’m going to go back inside and watch babies roll around in sweet potato, and toss a balloon into a bouquet of tiny hands.

Belated

I finally finished my last Xmas present this morning.

I hope the recipient thinks it’s worth the wait…..!

I also finally updated the Shop for the first time since… November?

In Wyoming news, it is February and it is still March.

Sliver

There’s half a moon already. I was surprised, last night, when I went outside at 10pm and it was bright enough to see easily, bright enough for hard-edged shadows. The moonlight bounced off Chloe’s white fur, making her glow. Charlie’s coat, which can magically camouflage itself in all seasons and environments – dry grass, snow, sagebrush, red dirt – blended with the night. His shadowy form sparkled as the white tips of his guard hairs caught the light.

Half a moon makes it easy to be outside in the dark – it’s light enough to walk around, no need for flashlights – yet still easy to sleep. Full moons disrupt – moonlight bounces off every stone, off each specular surface of our trucks, it magnifies, then seeps around the edges of curtains and slides across bedroom walls. My favorite moon is a sliver, a delicate crescent. I call it the Frisco moon and it makes me feel connected to him again, when I see it. His horns were that shape.

Nothing Beyond Need

I love this self portrait from artist Hazel Dooney. I love how everything in the photo matters – everything is there for a reason, for utility, to contribute. Juxtaposed against the ridiculous societal race to have more – big cars and bigger houses (subject to pinterest-shaming if the decor is not coordinated and curated) – this image is a respite. A reality check. It flies in the face of all that greed and perceived need and feels so much richer for it. Because none of that “stuff” matters when you have work to do. And by work, I mean manifesting your passion, whatever that is.

At the same time, juxtaposed against the poverty of billions, this image demonstrates such luxury to me. A safe place to be and to sleep. A mattress and clean sheets, excellent shelving and a trash can. A space to work. How extraordinarily valuable: the opportunity to manifest your passion, whatever that is.

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I’ve been feeling a little stuck, blog-wise. I’ve been second-guessing myself into nothingness. So, I’m going to post every weekday for the next month – that means unpolished snippets, random thoughts. More discipline, less self-editing. See you tomorrow!

Flicka Blue, Flicka White

Well, one month into the new year and I’m not writing as much here as I’d planned. But this morning, as with many other mornings, I did write something real and important and good and it’s for the book and that’s just the trade off. Flicka makes up for it, right?