Heart Broken

☆ July 19, 2018

daisydawn

Back in May, I weaned Mara and stopped milking Daisy because Daisy was looking rough and not gaining weight. I also decided I was going to retire Daisy – prevent her from having another pregnancy – because this cycle was so hard on her. Weaning went smoothly (and Mara is doing great), but by mid-June, Daisy was still dripping milk and the veins across her abdomen were distended and rigid. The veins freaked me out, but I assumed they would go down when she dried off (they are offshoots of what’s called the “milk vein”), but by the beginning of July, she was still dripping milk (totally weird) and her veins were still abnormally prominent and so I made an appointment with the vet to make sure nothing was wrong. He was baffled by the milk dripping but said her distended veins were a marker of heart failure. He said we have six months together if we’re lucky.

There’s not a lot of data on bovine heart disease because it’s often not caught until very late stages (because cows are often out on open range and/or not observed as obsessively as I observe Daisy). At that point, most people give the cow a diuretic and sell her ASAP. So there’s little to no follow up in those cases, and relatively few case studies where the disease is caught early and tracked. Signs and symptoms, as the condition progresses, don’t always present in every animal, so while there are things I can be on the look out for, there’s not much to monitor or measure in any definitive way. It’s all incredibly frustrating. My vet said this was the absolute earliest it could have been detected and we started treatment right away. I’m giving Daisy weekly shots that will increase to twice-weekly and then daily as things get worse.

Daisy’s not showing any other signs of illness – she has her usual enormous appetite, she happily wanders the property as she wishes and does not seem winded or struggling. Her eyes are bright and she’s super social and still very much Queen of Everything. My current theory about the dripping milk is that there’s enough extra fluid in her tissues from the heart disease that she’s been unable to re-absorb the milk in her udder as quickly as usual and it’s dripping because of gravity. I’m taking her vitals two or three times a day so I can keep track of any changes, and listening to her lung sounds with my stethoscope. I desperately wanted to have an ultrasound done but it’s just not possible – the waves can only travel so far to give a clear picture and the distance from skin to heart and lungs in a cow is many times greater than that distance in a person or smaller animal.

I also talked to my other vet, the philosopher vet who lives in a different town (and who hasn’t seen Daisy yet) and told him how I’ve been tracking her vitals and how badly I wanted an ultrasound in order to see what stage we are actually at and asked him what else can I do and what I can measure and what are the percentages of likelihood of this and that and he basically said (in a more poetic and non-confrontational way) that perhaps this is a time to practice not being such a control freak because even with all the data in the world, I will never be able to control death. Which is excruciatingly true and excruciatingly hard for me.

I’m absolutely beside myself. I really can’t even write about this, hence the dry, fact-y blog. I’m closing my online shop tomorrow, indefinitely (except for digital delivery items which will still be available). I’m still planning the 2019 Charlie calendar and I will have more of Fred’s beautiful jewelry, but right now I don’t want my time more divided than it has to be. I also had a pile of emails I was planning to respond to but I archived them all and sent off telepathic replies. I know you care about me and care about Daisy and understand these choices. I promise to keep you posted. In the meantime, please send Daisy love and good vibes.

Comments

92 Responses to “Heart Broken”

  1. sybil
    July 19th, 2018 @ 7:24 am

    Spend all these days with your first baby. Every single moment. XOXOXOXO

  2. Debbie Wahlbeck
    July 19th, 2018 @ 7:28 am

    Oh Shreve, sending much love & thoughts to you and dear Daisy. Wished I could come up there & give you a big hug. Xx

  3. torre
    July 19th, 2018 @ 7:35 am

    oh no i’m glad you can spend this time with her. Daisy is so sweet. i’ll be sending lots of love

  4. Alyxx
    July 19th, 2018 @ 7:39 am

    Gentle, loving thoughts to all of you. Shreve, you are the best cow-mama ever, give Daisy the love and attention you need, for as long as you have. Pets and kisses to the brave lady.

  5. Steph in Oregon
    July 19th, 2018 @ 7:40 am

    I am so sorry Shreve. I am sending the entire Farmily healing, loving energy.

  6. Penny in co
    July 19th, 2018 @ 7:53 am

    Heart Broken is right. I am so sorry.

  7. Erynn
    July 19th, 2018 @ 7:54 am

    XOXO

  8. Ingrid
    July 19th, 2018 @ 7:55 am

    Oh my! You always manage to tear me up. I cried every time I thought about Frisco for weeks. I am very happy that Daisy is still enjoying her days so far and hope that continues for a long, long time. I know you will do everything in your power to make that happen! Sending you all lots of love and prayers.

  9. Jane Cashion
    July 19th, 2018 @ 8:02 am

    Please do what you need to do. Make the best memories in the whole wide world. Love every minute that you possibly can and you will not only grow and enjoy your time with Daisy but even new things will be discovered along this venture. Your vet friend is right…you can’t stop death and it is coming…for all of us. I have a senior dog who is going through something similar, yet not, and sometimes I read and study and then realize she is right here with me and I need to use that time for us rather than see what someone has written or discovered. She has beat cancer with a great diet and now is having seizures and the meds are involving her liver. Love her. No time is enough so make the time right and good and full of love and smiles. My best to you and Daisy and just take the time you deserve.

  10. ELAINE CHECKLEY
    July 19th, 2018 @ 8:13 am

    ENJOY the time you have left with her – make it a great bucket list of things to do with her to always have those memories to hold in your heart. I’ll be sending love and light to both you & Daisy – much love always!

  11. Amy
    July 19th, 2018 @ 8:14 am

    I’m so sorry to hear this terrible news. Daisy seems like such a loving and patient soul. I hope you get as much time as possible with her before she moves on to her next posting, as it were. Many, many hugs.

  12. Liane B
    July 19th, 2018 @ 8:18 am

    So much love. And so much love, light and prayers on the way to you and beloved Daisy. You are just the best bovine mama ever.
    XOXOXOXOXO

  13. kathy peters
    July 19th, 2018 @ 8:19 am

    Love and prayers sent to you and Daisy.

  14. somewildbee
    July 19th, 2018 @ 8:27 am

    Oh, Shreve. I am so sorry to read this news. Daisy is such a beautiful soul. I am so much like you in my desire to understand and have concrete answers when handling my animals’ medical conditions inside and out and when that’s not possible, it feels like the bottom drops out. You are an incredible human and I really enjoy reading about your relationship with Daisy – thank you so much for sharing it with us. Thinking of you and Daisy and sending you tons of white light.

  15. Leah in Indiana
    July 19th, 2018 @ 8:36 am

    I’m heart broken for you. :(

  16. Anna
    July 19th, 2018 @ 8:38 am

    Sending you and all the farmily so much love.

  17. Siobhan
    July 19th, 2018 @ 8:50 am

    This is such sad news. Spend every moment that you can with dear Daisy. Sending you, Daisy, and the rest of the farmily big big love and light.

  18. Heather Lange-Wilson
    July 19th, 2018 @ 8:53 am

    Sending tons of prayers and good vibes! Soo sad loving you all

  19. Leisa
    July 19th, 2018 @ 8:53 am

    I’m so sorry!! I will be praying for yall.

  20. Kris
    July 19th, 2018 @ 8:55 am

    I’m so sorry Shreve. I’m hearbroken for all of you. I have loved and learned so much from watching and reading about your relationships with Daisy. Continue to love her well in this time with her. Sending lots of love and light to all of you.

  21. mimi
    July 19th, 2018 @ 9:04 am

    We can’t control death and that sucks. I’m sorry. But, the good news is that you know the time will be coming for Daisy, at some point, and you now have the opportunity to do everything we can’t do when it is sudden….love her, kiss her, brush her, watch her, sleep with her, talk to her, give here special treats, imprint in your mind her ears, her eyes, the feel of her back and her forehead, how she chews, how she moves, how she walks, how she looks, how she swishes her tail, how she sleeps, run your hands over her body… Just know that you have given her the best life ever and one she wouldn’t have been given without you. xoxo

  22. Brigitte
    July 19th, 2018 @ 9:05 am

    I am so sorry for you and Daisy! She is a much loved and important member of your farmily. This is not the time to leave her for a couple of weeks to deliver the Star Brand beef. Have someone else do the delivery. (I wish I could do it for you) Hold the meat in the freezer for later delivery. I will be happy to wait for that beef as long as I need to! Stay home to be with Daisy! It is important for both of you! Sending lots of love!

  23. Deborah
    July 19th, 2018 @ 9:08 am

    First and foremost, take care of your girl Daisy! All else must wait. I hope you have much more time than was predicted… you never know! xo

  24. Joy
    July 19th, 2018 @ 9:14 am

    I, too, am so very sorry to read of the health issues Daisy is facing. But she is not facing them alone; you and her farmily are with her. I am so sorry.

  25. Leslie Pasternack
    July 19th, 2018 @ 9:21 am

    Shreve, as always, the sense of responsibility you bring as you care for your farmily, your community, your online community, and the very earth itself are an inspiration to me. I wish you and Daisy rich, beautiful days together. Much love and gratitude for all you do and share.

  26. Cindy
    July 19th, 2018 @ 9:22 am

    Heart broken – an understatement. I teared up while reading this and am at a loss for words. Thankful that you contacted the vet and were able to get her diagnosis to allow you the time to make the choices you have made. Spend as much undivided time with Daisy that you are able. While we cannot control death we can to a point control the life we have and give to others. I just found and reread your post from 2009 when you got Daisy. She started her life as a loved cow and has lived her life surrounded with your love. It is heartbreaking that so many animals have lives so much shorter than our own – bringing to mind Irving Townsend and Prince. This post has turned out longer than I had thought it would – I guess I found the words that I thought I had lost. In the meantime, I am sending all my love, good vibes and positive energy to Daisy and you too.

  27. Vickie Zimmerman
    July 19th, 2018 @ 9:45 am

    Sweet Shreve!!!
    I am so very sorry that Daisy is sick! I have enjoyed reading about your sweet love and care and companionship with her from the beginning. I understand how you must feel! I hope you are able to have a long time with her! Words just aren’t enough at this time so please know that you and Daisy are in my heart, thoughts and prayers! Much love to both of you! Vickie

  28. Vee
    July 19th, 2018 @ 9:51 am

    I can’t even…
    :(
    love and good vibes to Daisy and you. <3

  29. annnoe
    July 19th, 2018 @ 10:02 am

    I’m so sorry, Shreve. Having been through something similar in the last year…I just send so much love to you both.

  30. Barbara Sanchez
    July 19th, 2018 @ 10:13 am

    Oh, Shreve my heart aches for you, Daisy and the farmily over this sad turn of events. Prayers and love to all of you! Thanks to all who have commented to enjoy each minute/bucket list item with her. Sage advice. That is what you will cherish. Love & hugs to you & Daisy! So so incredibly sorry …

  31. Sarah W.
    July 19th, 2018 @ 10:16 am

    I’m so sorry… I hope you get to spend a lot of wonderful, peaceful time together in the coming months. She’s so incredibly lucky to have you watching over her. <3

  32. Christina Price
    July 19th, 2018 @ 10:19 am

    You and Daisy are so lucky to have each other. These hard lessons in life and death are soul crushing and my heart goes out to you. The entire Farmily, really. Enjoy this precious time.

  33. Anna
    July 19th, 2018 @ 10:33 am

    I’m heartbroken for you. Death just sucks. If you can, rejoice in how clearly she knows you love her and how she shows her love back. In the end, that exchange of love is all that matters.

  34. Heidi
    July 19th, 2018 @ 10:35 am

    I love your philosopher vet’s advice. I lost a well-loved critter a few days ago, and it’s gonna be okay.

  35. Marilyn J Hampton
    July 19th, 2018 @ 10:39 am

    Prayers and positive thoughts for you and Daisy and all the farmily. I believe Mimi said it best, spend the time and make it special Daisy and Shreve time. Capture special moments with your camera. Even without pictures Daisy will always be a part of you and your soul, but the pictures will be there for you to share with others. Be sure to include some that are fun, so that you remember to laugh and smile when you think of her in the future and not just of the last months when things were not so good. Thank you for sharing your trials and tribulations…those who read and care about you and the farmily are willing to send good vibes and loving thoughts and prayers.

  36. Sarah
    July 19th, 2018 @ 10:41 am

    I’m so thankful that you got the diagnosis that allows you to make the most of your remaining time together. May it be miraculously MUCH longer than anyone could’ve imagined!

  37. Vanessa H
    July 19th, 2018 @ 10:42 am

    The news this morning took my breath away and stabbed my heart into a millions pieces…Daisy-our beautiful earthly angel-rips my heart out,as I’m sure it does you many fold over.
    Do what you need to do for you, Daisy and your piece of mind in your care of her; we will be here, supporting you-good times and bad, in celebration and grief.
    The bitter reality in life is death comes for all us, and we are not in control of it: I pray for a gentle passing of our angel.

    I know you probably have a great circle of friends, but should you need to reach out…I’m here for you girl <3

  38. Deborah Riecke
    July 19th, 2018 @ 10:42 am

    So sorry Shreve. I have been following you for so long, and everytime something happens, I share your joy and pain deep in my heart. Take care of Daisy and yourself. Enjoy the time you have.

  39. Beth Kelley
    July 19th, 2018 @ 10:53 am

    I am so sorry! I am glad you learned about it early enough to prepare yourself and give yourself time to be with Daisy. Having followed your blog for years it is clear just how much Daisy means to you. Hugs to you and the farmily.

  40. Sally
    July 19th, 2018 @ 11:03 am

    Tears for you and Daisy. Hugs to you and Daisy.

  41. Catherine Deshayes
    July 19th, 2018 @ 11:09 am

    She has been so happy in the past decade thanks to you, she is fine, she is done,it’s her time,and in my age bracket all my friends are leaving one by one, and that is part of life. She made us all so happy. We will always remember her.

  42. kim
    July 19th, 2018 @ 11:25 am

    Thinking of you all, sending love and light!

  43. bonnie
    July 19th, 2018 @ 11:28 am

    ‘never be able to control death’ – yeah. we know that, don’t we? and it’s only when we accept it, that that truth can be put aside long enough for us to have the courage to love fiercely again. that fierce and tender love is what makes possible the intimacy that we share in the final part of the lives of our beloveds — and that intimacy is beyond precious, it’s sacred. much love to you and daisy.

  44. PatH
    July 19th, 2018 @ 11:31 am

    Sending love and light to you and sweet Daisy. I remember when you took Daisy with you to the high country, then learned how to turn her nurturing milk into cream! She is your guide and dear companion. While we can’t control death or know how much time is left we can appreciate each precious moment we have together which you are doing.

    Our hearts break open because there is so much love and connection. Anyone with a deep connection to the animal world truly understands.

  45. Carolyne
    July 19th, 2018 @ 11:44 am

    I think, the hardest thing to accept is the imminent death of those we love. As a cancer patient, I often wonder if it’s a blessing to know in advance or not.

    Sending you and Daisy uplifting love.

  46. Jeanette
    July 19th, 2018 @ 11:48 am

    So sorry, surrounding you and Daisy with love and hugs.

  47. Karyn Newbill
    July 19th, 2018 @ 12:17 pm

    I so hear you on the inner control freak thing. We want to protect and control things that hurt us and those we love.

    May you recognize what is yours to do and what you are able to do, and find peace with what unfolds.

    Sending love, hugs, peace and grace to both you and Daisy.

  48. Anonypilgrim
    July 19th, 2018 @ 1:02 pm

    I’m so sorry. Go love your girl.

  49. Rebecca
    July 19th, 2018 @ 1:04 pm

    I’m so sorry, Shreve. When my orange soulmate kitty was diagnosed with cancer I stopped my life for him. We were told 8-12 weeks and we got nearly 2.5 years. I have never regretted anything. So much love and light to you and Daisy.

  50. Susan
    July 19th, 2018 @ 1:12 pm

    Oh no, not Daisy! I know you’ve experienced significant loss already, but Daisy is your heart and the matriarch of the Farmily. What a huge, huge hole in your heart and your life she will leave. Enjoy every moment you have left, cherish the time, and give her a loving farewell. It’s our last gift to those we love, allowing them to leave without pain and knowing the love that was felt for them. We are all suffering and grieving with you. It is too soon for Daisy…I hope you feel our love surrounding you as you care for Daisy and make her final days and months the best ever. So sorry, Shreve.

  51. Theresa Szpila
    July 19th, 2018 @ 1:13 pm

    Heart-broken. Heart-shattered like broken shards of glass. In tears. And pretty much speechless.

    Sending love and hugs and prayers. Wishing you peace of mind and heart, and the strength you will need going forward.

  52. mlaiuppa
    July 19th, 2018 @ 1:58 pm

    Oh, my precious sweet bovine love goddess!

    Yes, you can’t prevent death. But you have knowledge and can control the time the both of you have left together. By all means find someone to drive Red Reefer this year and make the deliveries. You’ll feel better staying home this year.

    My own Ramses is living with cancer, having had a tumor removed from his back that tested as cancer. He’s 14 and I’ve lived with the inevitability of his passing since the day I got him. But still. You want them to live forever.

    Yes, Daisy must be kept from becoming pregnant. She has no one better to monitor her condition than you and kudos it has been caught so soon. Plenty can be done to slow the process and make her comfortable. I’m sure you’re reading up on all that can be done both conventional and naturally. Is she getting hydrochlorothiazide?

    My own sweet boy is getting low dose NSAIDS and turmeric with his food. Plus as many treats as he wants anytime he wants them.

    Daisy has had the best life any cow could want and it will only get better. She is your companion animal now and you are her “Service Human.”. And we Americans spoil our pets rotten. How about setting up an account for us to buy Daisy her favorite treats?

    Please continue to post lots of photos of Daisy. I just can’t get enough of them. (I always have a mental picture of her wearing a crown of flowers.) I only wish I could have had a chance to meet her in real life but a drive to Colorado to meet a cow just isn’t in the cards. I’ve promised my little man that I won’t be taking any more trips at all while he is with me. I’m sure that is why he is determined to live as long as possible.

    Perhaps if you whisper a promise in Daisy’s ear, she’ll make bovine medical history. People live for years with heart problems. Daisy can too.

    And what Mimi said.

  53. Pam
    July 19th, 2018 @ 2:06 pm

    “Oh no “ was my first response to your title. I cannot tell you how much this pains me, for you & Daisy , to have to go thru this. I can only tell you that you both , ALL of you , will be in my prayers each and every day & night. I still have Daisy ‘s picture w Fiona on my nightstand & the one of Daisy wearing the blue blanket also.
    As the vet said, you cannot control the inevitable but I am glad to hear that you are controlling how your time is spent.
    Do whatever you need to do for yourself & Daisy. We will all be here for you when you are ready.

  54. Janet Howe
    July 19th, 2018 @ 2:14 pm

    I knew when I saw this that something must have happened to one of your animals. So sad for Daisy and for you. I think that the one blessing when our animals are ill is that they don’t live with the knowledge that they have little time left like we do. They live in the moment.

  55. Bev
    July 19th, 2018 @ 2:17 pm

    I am so very sorry to hear this news about Daisy. You can’t avoid the inevitable, but with the best of love and care that Daisy gets she may live longer than expected. Sending love and good vibes to you and Daisy.
    Bev

  56. Julie Biggs
    July 19th, 2018 @ 2:31 pm

    I’m so sorry and also heartbroken. Daisy has touched so many. Thank you for sharing her with us. I hope all the love you and Daisy shared will be reflected. Julie.

  57. LJ
    July 19th, 2018 @ 2:46 pm

    Sending as much love and good vibes as possible. Imagining hugs from around the world surrounding Daisy and you.

  58. scotty
    July 19th, 2018 @ 3:47 pm

    one thing i will always find endearing is daisy’s cow lick punk rock hair do. she is so friggin cute. good luck with everything. you will probably need to tell her to stop smoking that’s what my cardio guy tells me.

  59. JoDi
    July 19th, 2018 @ 3:55 pm

    Truly heartbroken for you and your beautiful Daisy. Sending lots of love to you both and the whole farmily. I wish you more time together than the doctors expect. I know you will make the most of every day!

  60. Nova
    July 19th, 2018 @ 4:42 pm

    Oh, Shreve! How terribly sad. My heart goes out to you. May the time you have left with Daisy fill your mind and heart with enough joy to keep you strong. Sending hugs and positive thoughts.

  61. Lindsay in CA
    July 19th, 2018 @ 5:30 pm

    Shreve I’m so sorry to hear this terrible news about Daisy! My husband and I lost our bunny to heart failure at the beginning of this year, but it was caught so late. I always think if I’d known sooner, I would’ve made more of an effort to spend extra time with her, but I didn’t know until it was too late, so I took her for granted and let the busyness of life get in the way. I’m glad that you know early enough that you have time to reprioritize life in order to spend as much time with Daisy as possible. I hope your time with her is sweet and that you continue to add good memories, even though you are no doubt already mourning.

  62. Felyne
    July 19th, 2018 @ 6:02 pm

    The process of life. It will be okay.

    All the good warm, fluffy power positive vibes to Miss Daisy.

    Much good care to you, Shreve.

  63. Lisa
    July 19th, 2018 @ 6:25 pm

    Sending love and light to you and Daisy.

  64. methodpam
    July 19th, 2018 @ 7:01 pm

    Much love to you both.

  65. Sara
    July 19th, 2018 @ 7:21 pm

    Love and light being sent to you and Daisy.

  66. Janice in GA
    July 19th, 2018 @ 9:12 pm

    Oh no….

    Mojo and good thoughts and healthy wishes for you and for Daisy. You know you’ll lose them (or they’ll lose you) eventually. But it doesn’t help very much to know that.

    Love, and love.

  67. Yvonne
    July 19th, 2018 @ 9:56 pm

    Lots of good wishes for lots of good time for Daisy

  68. Chana
    July 19th, 2018 @ 11:55 pm

    Oh man, Shreve. The philosopher vet’s comment about controlling death is pretty much the compilation of my therapy. Sending all the love to you and your farmily.

  69. Kate Lenthall
    July 20th, 2018 @ 2:31 am

    Take all the time you need, I can’t even imagine the kind of impact this is having. :( Please give Daisy love from all of us!

  70. Patr
    July 20th, 2018 @ 7:39 am

    I’m going to send you paraphrased words that you wrote many years ago from Mike. They can’t live forever for if we died first who would be there for them.

    I have used this many times to comfort friends who have lost their animal family members. Daisy will be in comfort having you with her until the end. She deserves that and it is an honor that the will want you there too.

    Hugs.

  71. Zorah Oppenheimer
    July 20th, 2018 @ 8:55 am

    In February, we made the decision to end my 14 year old pup’s life. She was my best friend. She had been diagnosed with cancer in October and was no longer able to walk well from a spinal issue. from her diagnosis to the end of her life, I enjoyed so much with her, but I also put intense pressure on myself to ENJOY EVERY MINUTE. Try not to do that to yourself. There will be days when you can’t make her priority, and that’s okay. She understands and your bond is strong enough to weather that.

    SO much love and healing to you and Daisy.

  72. wright1
    July 20th, 2018 @ 9:30 am

    Atheist and materialist that I am, at moments like these a quote from the biologist Stephen Gould comes to mind:

    “We cannot win this battle to save species and environments without forging an emotional bond between ourselves and nature as well– for we will not fight to save what we do not love.”

    This is the flip side of caring deeply, of feeling, valuing and bonding with our biological cousins. It is a big part of what makes us human and I believe it can ultimately lead us to a far better place than where we are now. But this is the price of that, as you well know.

    My heart goes out to you, and all that your heart encompasses.

  73. Holly
    July 20th, 2018 @ 10:02 am

    I am saddened to read this post….. sending love, hugs and strength to you and Daisy.

  74. Susan
    July 20th, 2018 @ 4:00 pm

    Daisy has been blessed to have you as part of her herd. The other blessing is that animals have no idea of impending illness or death in these situations. She will remain content likely until the end as she gradually winds down. I have an adorable old goat in the same situation and he’s still happy as a clam. And, actually, so am I because I have had the privilege of tending these wonderful creatures to the best of my ability. Take a measure of comfort for having done your best. You’re a special person. Take care.

  75. Nancy Dean
    July 20th, 2018 @ 7:58 pm

    I am so sad to hear this, but thank you so much for sharing this heartbreaking news with us, our hearts are with you. Daisy is so special and you two have a wonderful bond that you will cherish forever.

    Hugs to you and Daisy.

  76. Cinda Mefferd
    July 22nd, 2018 @ 8:48 am

    Lots of love to you and Daisy at this sad and bittersweet time of togetherness.

  77. Laura Sherman
    July 22nd, 2018 @ 9:22 pm

    Thank you for being so brave, to share the tough parts of your life with us. Thank you for loving your farmily members so truly. I will be sending prayers love & good thoughts to Daisy every day

  78. Suzy Soro
    July 22nd, 2018 @ 9:31 pm

    Shreve, when my dog got diabetes and Cushings Syndrome I went into overdrive. Insulin shots yes, but literally searched for a dog food that might bring his ketones down. I found one, in a pop up shop that sold generic dog food. Since I’d had no luck with name brands, I gave it a whirl and my little dog’s ketones plummeted. My vet couldn’t believe I’d put so much effort into it because he said most people just put their dogs down. I replied, “FOR DIABETES??” I too, wanted to control the future and did for 2 years. Friends thought I was nuts but the reality is that to this day I have no regrets as to what I did. I’d do it again in a heartbeat. So do what you have to do and know we’re all behind you. I never thought the day would come when I’d say, “God I wish I had a cow.” YOU DID THAT. xoxoxoxo

  79. Pat D.
    July 22nd, 2018 @ 10:23 pm

    For the last few weeks I haven’t looked in on your blogs, as if fearing sad news. Today I did click in and read your latest, and I am both sad and yet glad that you know early and can make sure Daisy has a comfortable few months.

    If Charlie is your spirit animal and guide to the wilderness life, I think Daisy has been your calm guide to the domestic farming life. She has shown you the miracle of birth and growth, the joys and pains of farm life, and has gifted you with milk and cream, to say nothing of beautiful portraits of her and her calves.

    She won’t know the future, and won’t worry, and thanks to you she can be surrounded by love and light when the time comes.

    I will pray to St. Francis for her, and for you, and wish you good vibes and lasting comfort. Take care, and be well…

  80. Karen
    July 23rd, 2018 @ 5:58 pm

    I am so sad after reading this tragic news…and then I get a visual of Daisy wearing her blue, winter coat and I can’t help but smile… while still being sad.

    Sending love and strength to all of you in your sweet farmily!

  81. Lisa
    July 24th, 2018 @ 9:23 am

    Oooofff, Shreve. You and Daisy have given each other so much life and love. Wallow in this chapter mindfully, but not tightly. Sending love and lifting prayers . . .

  82. Gabriela
    July 25th, 2018 @ 1:04 pm

    Daisy is a very lucky cow. And knowing what you know you can savor every moment you have together. Unless you dedicate your life to parrots they will all leave us too soon and take chunks of our heart with them but this is why we are here. to love, be loved, break our hearts and love again. A hug to you and Daisy.

  83. Julie
    July 28th, 2018 @ 6:21 pm

    We love you dear Shreve. Nothing to say that hasn’t already been said here. But…we love you darling!

  84. Lesley
    July 28th, 2018 @ 11:37 pm

    Thank you for sharing Daisy with us. Your pictures and stories have given me a knowledge and appreciation for cows (and other animals) I might not otherwise have. I hope Daisy endures and that all of her days, whether they are many or few, are filled with happiness. I am so sorry Shreve. Kisses for Daisy. She and you are in my thoughts.

  85. nerryna
    July 30th, 2018 @ 12:00 am

    sending love.

  86. Sandy G.
    July 30th, 2018 @ 11:14 pm

    Oh no, I’m so sorry to hear that about Daisy. I have loved her through your blog. She has the most beautiful, kind, loving face and eyes. Please give her an extra hug or pat from me. Love to you and be grateful for her time with you and for sharing her with us.

  87. Po
    August 1st, 2018 @ 4:00 am

    Tears and hugs for both you and beautiful Daisy. I’ll hold you both in the Light.

  88. Judy
    August 11th, 2018 @ 6:18 pm

    This news, so sorry. I once said to my dog sitter—“Our dogs don’t live long enough”. She replied—“We live too long”. Well, whatever, make each moment count. Sending love.

  89. Nancey
    August 17th, 2018 @ 7:53 am

    love to you and love to Daisy, it is the hardest thing in the world to say good bye to someone you love. You will see Daisy again, my Mom always tells me that wherever you go you will see the animals you’ve loved first. I have to believe that.

  90. Jackie
    August 28th, 2018 @ 9:14 pm

    Peace be with you.

  91. Jane
    August 28th, 2018 @ 11:17 pm

    Bright Blessings for you all. Your baby will cross the rainbow bridge in her own time. When you, too, cross over, all of your beloveds will be there to greet you. Energy is never lost, it simply changes states.

  92. Harmoni Noel
    August 29th, 2018 @ 10:21 pm

    I’m so sorry to hear this news. Three weeks ago my dog, my baby, of 13 years passed away from heart disease. I didn’t even know that’s what it was or that he was dying until the day he died. He was having a lot of trouble breathing but I thought it was a side effect of his other medicine. I don’t know if it’s better to know in advance or not. I wish I could have cherished those last months/weeks/days/hours with him a little more and been more understanding of what he was going through. In all other ways he didn’t act like he was dying and still had tons of energy, motivation to go on walks, and appetite. In a way I’m glad I didn’t know so I wasn’t sad until the very end and didn’t obsessively think about losing him. It’s just hard no matter what. I hope you enjoy all your time together and that Daisy enjoys the rest of her life. You have done such a great job with her and you have given her the best life possible. She will always be part of you.

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