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When you left the “city life” and moved to quieter settings, what were the five biggest happy consequences/surprises and five biggest “hardships” about the move? 5 years later, are they the same?
I think I’ve described the happy surprises in great detail throughout this blog and my book, so, how about I give you three hardships, and what they’re like 7 years later (it’s been seven years now!).
1. Fence gates. SO many fences cross this land, which means you have to open and close fence gates to get through them all. Some fence gates are hanging metal panels that close with a simple wrapped chain and swing easily to open and close. But far more common are the wire fence gates, which usually consist of three “stays” (short wooden posts that aren’t set into the ground, though if you’re very unlucky, these will be metal) with several strands of wire (often barbed) wrapped around them and stretched between them. It’s essentially a section of a wire fence that’s held taut by tension between two fence posts. They can be heavy and unwieldy and when you unlatch one (by wrestling yet another loop of wire off the end post), it will collapse on you if you don’t know what you’re doing. To add insult to injury, the first THREE times I opened gates when I first moved here, I allowed whoever I was with to drive through, then closed it with myself on the wrong side.
Now: I still don’t like ’em but I have them mastered.
2. Planning ahead for food. With the nearest grocery store a 40 minute drive away (each way), there is no “dashing out for this or that,” which was the only method of shopping I was accustomed to when I moved here. (That, and calling for delivery, which does not exist.) I’d like to say I learned quickly, but it took years for me to form better habits and Daisy saved me more than anything ~ a quart of fresh milk is a far better makeshift dinner than gas station potato chips or plain dry oatmeal eaten straight from the bag.
Now: Since going to the grocery store is such a pain, I’ve found it’s easier for me to DIY out here. Like growing alfalfa, lentil, and pea sprouts all fall and winter instead of buying greens or veggies from the grocery store; and milking Daisy instead of shopping for dairy products. It’s a work in progress, as I add more elements bit by bit after what started as new and stressful becomes second nature, but with the current state of commercial food (GMOs in everything, organic still so expensive), it’s been a blessing in disguise, being forced away from what was so convenient.
3. So much whiteness. As in skin color. Moving here was downright eerie. Like if all of a sudden, everyone around you had the same hair color, or wore the same color shirt.
Now: It took a bit longer for me to realize the horrifying, pervasive bigotry. It is shocking and vile. I’m not saying everyone in Wyoming is a bigot, but it’s more common (and accepted! wtf?) here than anywhere else I’ve lived, by far. Certain friendships have gone from very close to just cordial after the other person rattles off some anti-gay hate speech like it’s normal conversation and I…. first, my heart breaks, because HOW can people think this way??? (Don’t answer that, rhetorical question.) Then I respond with my thoughts which in no way align with theirs, and then there is a chasm, permanently. No one says the N word around me anymore, but that’s only because they know I’ll go off. It doesn’t mean they don’t still say it or still think everything that goes along with it. The bigotry is the hardest part of living here.
How difficult was the transition from city girl to country girl? What was the most difficult?
Most of this is answered above. But overall, it was more exciting than difficult. And I wouldn’t even say I’ve “transitioned.” I’m certainly not 100% country ~ I still have and use the perspectives that come from city life.
While living your city life, did you just…know deep down inside that you were meant for a life much simpler, real, and natural like you live today? It’s like my heart longs for so much more living in the midst of a busier town down in the Houston area of Texas. I know I’m meant to be in the mountains and valleys…the open spaces…raising animals like you and many other women I follow via the Internet. I know that’s only one question, but I also just wanted to say thank you. Your story is inspiring me to pursue the dreams I have to work cattle, raise horses, and live the ranch life I always knew I was made for. Hopefully within the next year I will be moving to make that dream a reality. You’re awesome – much love.
I didn’t know. Didn’t have a clue till I spent the majority of two months riding through rural areas on the Vespa. But once you know….. DO. {and thanks ~ back at’cha}
Could you repost or link to the post you wrote about dealing with/confronting fear (taking risks)? I hope that’s enough detail to jog your memory. I loved that post and had it saved, but misplaced it!
CLICK HERE. Thank you for reminding me of this!
Where did you find the courage to up and move to Wyoming after being a city-girl for so long? Were you afraid of how you’d put food on the table or did you just believe that things would work out?
CLICK HERE ~ it’s a super long post so I’m not copy/pasting it here, but it answers everything.
How did you know going out west to the mountains was the right thing to do? I feel very restless like I need to change my life. What drove you to make that huge change in lifestyle?
CLICK HERE…….
What round are we on, now?
Are you looking forward to the colder months ahead? What do your winter days look like vs. your summer days?
The bummer, for me, about winter is how short the days are. That part is hard. But I’m going to use the endless dark hours to my advantage this winter and hopefully get another book written. In the meantime, I’ve been doing some hardcore fall cleaning, which does not have the same ring as spring cleaning but actually makes much more sense. In the spring, I think, “the weather is changing, I’m about to spend all my time outside, who cares if my house is a mess!” But in the fall, I think, “the weather is changing, I’m about to spend way more time inside, time to clean every nook and cranny and purge all that is unnecessary.”
You have accomplished a lot since moving to Wyoming and building your house and in the process you have picked up quite a few skills you didn’t possess before. Looking back, which skill are you the most proud of learning and what skill do you look forward to learning in the future?
“…building your house” gives me far too much credit. With Mike’s help, I took the cabin from “glorified tent” to “hovel.” As for skills ~ this is a hard one, to pick just one. Probably learning how to speak cow. And I really look forward to mastering cheesemaking. I’ve not had much time this summer to spend experimenting but hope to try my hand at some aged cheeses this fall.
How did things turn out with the intern? / Will you ever have another temporary assistant? / Do you still have that AWESOME trailer out back?
It ended way back in 2010 for very specific reasons, but I did realize some general things that I needed to address before doing it again (which I would very much like to do) ~ for instance, paying for propane to heat the trailer 24/7 nearly broke my bank. I do still have the glorious Psychedelic Jellybean and use it as an extension of my house ~ it’s shipping HQ / writing room / a nice place for random naps.
Is Chloe spayed? I am curious simply because I have heard there are new options such as tubal ligations available. Thinking in the future I may go the tubal ligation route vs a full hysterectomy (spay) for my female pup.
She is. But this is interesting info!
Do you have a huge vet bill in general?
Not usually, but this year it’s going to be significant with the summer trauma trifecta of Sir Baby, Daisy, and Mushy.
You might have said, but I don’t remember, how the vet takes to Charlie, or whether that’s evolved over time.
They’ve never personally met. I’ve done Charlie’s vacs and treatments myself, but I do have him muzzle trained in case he and the vet ever need to meet face to face.
Do you handle your own dog-cat-coyote vaccinations?
Some but not all.
It seems like your days are very full. Do you ever feel like it’s a grind or experience burnout? If so, what do you do to restore your balance?
Of course! I watched the entire first season of Downton Abbey in one day. That was restorative, to be totally indulgent and just blob for a day (and why doesn’t Netflix streaming have Season 2?!?) The animals are grounding and lightening ~ they’re like four-legged meditations all around me. A soak in my outdoor cast iron tub is transcendent. Ignoring the computer, ignoring the time, being with friends, being with Mike…
Speaking of, I’m going to go spend an afternoon hour on my bull.
I’m only a fraction of the way through your Q’s…. more on the way!
Another Smattering
The Q&A sesh continues… {part I, part II, part III}
Do you keep a journal?
Not really. I write when I have to get something out of me or when I have to figure something out. But it’s usually on scraps of paper and old envelopes which I then toss in a shoebox.
If you had to live off the grid, what type of energy source do you prefer – solar or wind?
Solar. If you’re powered by your own windmill, it means it’s windy, and I do not like wind.
What is your favorite spice?
A wink from Mike.
You have to live the rest of your life in a museum. Which of the world’s museums do you choose and why.
The Museum of Natural History in New York. When I was a starving artist I prioritized an annual museum pass over food. I love that place.
For some reason this idea came to my mind today so thought I would share it with you although your experience was one of the funniest posts ever. Of course it is about the charcoal poultice and the problem (ha ha) of keeping an animal still while it hardens. Couldn’t you just load some cheese cloth with the charcoal and tie it on? Not so much fun for us or said male animal, but easier for you.
I don’t know that that would work ~ imagine gooping it on and tying it on your ankle and then walking around. I think it would slip unless you had it dangerously tight.
I really miss the handwritten posts from last summer.
Then I shall do some handwritten posts just for the fun of it!
if Charlie hears a coyote- what is his reaction?
No reaction ~ never once. It’s like it doesn’t register to him that coyotes are related to him. But if a cat meows, he will start to howl.
Is Charlie neutered?
Yep. It’s detailed in the book ~ the how’s and why’s.
This has been my first real summer out west (Idaho), and the wildfires have been horrible. What kinds of plans do ranchers make for times such as this? Packing up our photos and cats seems bad enough, but being responsible for a farmily such as yours would fill me with worry.
I asked around for this one, which confirmed what I suspected. To quote one rancher: “Hope like hell it doesn’t happen.” There’s really no way to plan. Everyone carries fencing pliers in their truck and will cut fences if need be. Cut fences, let the animals run, and sort it out later.
Does Mike still work for the vile and misnamed USDA Wildlife Services agency that kills our native wildlife, using our tax dollars, on our lands? I hope not!
No ~ I wrote a bit about that here.
Do you like chocolate milk? thought i’d give you an easy one ;)
Thank you! I actually don’t.
What would your ideal future look like?
There’s a fine line between visualization and setting goals, and becoming rigid and self-sabatoging…. I try not to think about an “ideal future,” simply because I would never have conjured any of my present!
If you had to get a job, what would you want to do?
I have a job.
I would love to see a photo of the short do!!
OK FINE I’LL THINK ABOUT IT!
Q&A, cont…
This is really personal, but it’s a question I grapple with: How did you make the decision not to have children?
I don’t know if this will help at all, because it never felt like a “decision” to me ~
I have never wanted to have kids. And my role models and saviors growing up were women without children and I saw how the labels so commonly applied to childfree women (selfish, unfulfilled) in NO way applied to them. I saw how much they contributed to the world around them and those ridiculous labels have never affected my psyche or made me question my choice.
Anyone else want to share their experience/decision in the comment section?
Round 2 of Qs
What would you be doing or would you like to be doing with your life if you weren’t doing this?
I’d be on a sailboat full time. But that can wait till I’m 60.
I found your post about your stalker so moving, and I am so thankful that you posted that. I respect you so much for being open about what happened so that others might learn from it. Now that it’s behind you, how have you moved on from it? Does any part of it still affect you?
Thank you! I’ve been able to integrate what I learned from it without being governed by it. It made me more solid, more well-rounded. I wouldn’t wish the experience on anyone but I wouldn’t erase it from my past, if that makes any sense.
Did you go up to the mountain this summer?
Just for one day. I had to stay down here this year for Star Brand Beef, a worthwhile sacrifice.
How do you manage caring for the animals outdoors during the cold, cold winters?
Wool, down, silk, duty, endurance.
What are your 15 favorite books? If that’s too difficult (I could never, ever answer that myself :), what are you reading these days?
I’m currently reading The Purity Myth by Jessica Valenti and A People’s History of the United States by Howard Zinn. Just some light fluff. I also have Wild by Cheryl Strayed checked out but haven’t started it yet. (Some of my favorite books are listed in the sidebar.)
Have you dabbled in canning your produce?
I haven’t done any canning…. I don’t have a stove, only a hotplate and the woodstove, which I have no desire to fire up in the summertime.
Do you miss anything about the Bay area?
I miss riding my Vespa in traffic ~ it was like being inside a video game.
How does Charlie get along with the cows?
They respect one another’s personal space.
As a successful blogger on the internet, why is it that you prefer to stay behind the scenes and not post pictures of yourself, Mike, etc. Obviously you prefer it’s not about you, it’s about the lifestyle, the animals etc. yet it is quite obvious that you are a very attractive young woman and with the type of reality media going on today you would probably be very successful with that. Have you had those offers and do you fear becoming too successful?
I’ve had a lot of offers ~ from Jay Leno to Animal Planet ~ but I’m unwilling to sacrifice the lifestyle of my animals. Charlie’s well-being has always been my priority and other people really stress him out. It’s just an automatic “no” for me. Even with the other animals, if there were camera crews around here, their environment would be altered. And my environment would be altered. As for posting photos of myself ~ I have always enjoyed using myself as a prop in more “fine art” work, example here, but just running around taking snapshots of myself is really boring to me.
If there were a movie about your life, who would you want to play you and Mike?
Should I tell this story? OK, I will. Back when the book first came out, I was approached by Hollywood for the movie rights. At the time, there were five actresses who could “greenlight” a movie (Julia Roberts, Sandra Bullock, Angelina Jolie, Reese Witherspoon, and Katherine Heigl), which means if they were signed on to a script, the movie would automatically get financed. The producer was buying the rights for Katherine Heigl. I said no, because I would have had to drop SO much acid to watch Katherine Heigl playing ME! Wrong, wrong! Can you picture her chopping wood?? They wanted Daniel Craig for Mike, which I can kind of see but…..??? The bigger question is who would play Charlie? This is the biggest hangup I have with a movie version of The Daily Coyote: based on my experience and those of others I’ve been in touch with who’ve raised coyotes, I can not fathom a coyote being OK on a movie set without being drugged. Maybe a coydog? A german shepherd in hair and make up? I think an animated version would be best, with Dabs Myla doing the artwork.
Is a Charlie movie in the works?
Uh, no.
Clearly you work hard to live a life of authenticity and integrity. Has some opportunity come your way that’s really, really tempted you? I can imagine that more than once you’ve been approached by someone/someones hoping you’d sell out (even just a little bit).
I was offered a HUGE sum of money to have someone’s baby. For realz. But all these things ~ this offer, the movie deal, the TV shows… while there was a lot of money involved, they weren’t really that tempting. Flattering, perhaps, but not tempting. Because while I’d be gaining money, I’d be losing things that are more important to me. Money brings freedom in some respects, but, in the wrong configuration, it takes freedom away. These were all the wrong configuration.
Not worth it.
SPEED ROUND!
Have you seen Charlie exhibit behaviors that wild coyotes do not exhibit?
cat worship
What is your favorite time of day?
dawn
Also, can we see more pictures of Flicka soon? She is totally gorgeous.
I will do this!
How far do you have to drive to go food shopping?
40 minute drive
Where is the Vespa now?
in Mike’s basement
Do you have central heating?
no
Are you on fb?
no
More to come…….
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